Hello!

[Guest Steph70]

Hello all, I'm Stephanie. I'm a crossdresser(wow that felt good..but also feels like 'Hi, my name is Stephanie and I'm an alcoholic'). I've just joined, and have been poking around the site. Mostly reading forums. Then I saw someone mention the intro forum, and thought I'd come over and say hi. Some of the topics just make me think. Like what clothing do you have, and where do you hide it. I've been crossdressing for 25-30 years, and have always hid things in a box or something. The amount of clothing has gone up or down depending on where I lived. Here's the bad(strange, weird?) part...I have more clothing now than ever because I live by myself in a house. I still have my clothing in a box in a crawl space. Nobody would look in my closets, especially my upstairs one. Nobody goes upstairs blocked off with a 'puppy gate'(carpet and dogs....they think it's grass or something!). Because it's my 'dirty little secret'. Has to be hidden away.

After joining this site, and reading the forums and such, and finding more people 'like me', I am going to change that. I washed everything today, and one of my dressers is going to be my girl clothes. Just in the last week I started looking for a group, or site, or whatever for support, ideas, etc. Most of what I found was dating sites. So this is refreshing.

I haven't done the 'dress to the nines' yet, because I have a neurotic feeling that as soon as I do, someone will stop over(I never have people stop over unexpectedly), or work will call(Kinda on-call 24/7) but who can see my eyeliner over the phone?! I have everything to do it, but have just dabbled with makeup. One of these days though...once i get past my neuroses I guess.

Well, I guess my novel is over for now. It only took a half hour to be able to write this down, and 3 cigarettes! It does feel good to get a little off my chest though.

Stephanie

[Paula ult]

Welcome Stephanie,

I want to welcome you to Laura's, come sit with me in the member lounge and i will get us some of Sally's famous cookies and some coco while we wait for others to come by and say hi.

I am 57, MtF started living officially full time a couple weeks ago, name change and all, do not worry if you are scared to dress at home, ask yourself this question, how often do friends drop in uninvited, if the answer is they do not then be yourself and get dressed as often as you wish, it gets easier each time you do it.

Paula

[Sally]

Welcome to the forum, Stephanie,

I understand completely about the hiding things even though you live alone - once you get over that everything is much better.

I am a 58 year old MTF who hasn't come out at work and therefore no to too many people my family was not to supportive in denial for over a year now and my wife is now my ex so I am not thrilled with the prospect of telling my 'friends'.

After she moved out - I changed the locks and now her closet belongs to Sally.

You will gain confidence from hearing about others ups and downs and know that you too can express your true self.

Welcome to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Steph70]

Two people know I crossdress. I have a gay friend(who seems to think because I crossdress that I must be gay), and my girlfriend. My gay friend doesn't so much hit on me(I considered him to be my friend long before I knew he was gay..and I couldn't care less that he is) but I fix his computer, and he feels compelled to show me (dating?sex?) sites that he frequents when I'm over to fix the pc. I had to have that talk with him and tell him, "I'm not gay". He was suprised?! Maybe he knows something I don't? Just kidding. I cringe when I even think about m2m sex. Women are so yummy. Maybe that's my fixation? I love them so much I want to look and be like them? I've had that idea or thought for a long time actually. Or maybe that has always been my justification to make this feeling I get when I dress up 'right'.

My girlfriend lives in another state, and she is all for it. Some of her christmas gifts to me have been quite sexy! Her thoughts on it are that we all have a male and female side, and most people suppress the other side(it's been ingrained in us from birth that it's wrong..men don't cry, women don't use power tools, etc.). But it's a yin/yang kind of thing. You can't have one without the other. And I'm just expressing my female side. We talk on the phone all the time, and she knows when I'm wearing something. She can hear it in my voice, my inflections? And she simply asks "So what are you wearing?". God I love her! It took me a long time to tell her, and when I did, I had an anxiety attack, and was flushed, and thought I would lose her, and was going to die, etc...And what did she say? "I know." That's it. Two best, most loving friendly calming words I think I have ever felt. Anxiety attack..gone. Terrible feelings...gone. All with 2 simple words.

What I think I am going to do is get 'dressed to the nines', and clean my house. I know it sounds silly, but it's a simple thing a man or woman would do(and it needs to be done!), and to do it as a woman would be so freeing. Just being in this group for a day and I feel better already!

Does this make novel #2? It just feels great to put this down somewhere. You all are going to have to get used to my rambling!

Thank you for just being here,

Stephanie

[Guest van-na]

Hi Steph,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We have Cross dressers meetings -Tues 8pm est, and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Guest Roberta1]

First of all, let's get this straight, you have to stop thinking of your secret as "dirty" because it's certainly not a bad habit as is alcholism,

smoking, and lots of vices I can think of. OK, so you like to put on girl's clothes. What is the big deal? Is it hurting anyone? Well, it could

hurt you if the wrong people found out, so, be brave, be feminine, but, above all, be careful. I applaud your girlfriend, and let me say it takes

guts (real man guts) to "come out" to someone who may be a LTR or existing mate. You deserve to have your girl clothes available as you

see fit. After all, Steph is YOUR other half, no? Women have much more freedom fashion-wise in our society, but don't let that be a

hindrerance to you. When you are by yourself, why not be yourself?

You have come to the right place, the people here will give you what you've been looking for, great support, and good thoughts.

Sincerely, Robert(a)1 CD'er, going on for 64 years now.

[Carolyn Marie]

Hi, Stephanie, and welcome to Laura's!

It really is a revelation, finding this site, isn't it? Like you, I felt isolated and alone for many years and wondered if I could ever find anyone

to talk to about our issues. Then once I found Laura's, a whole new world of friends and information opened up to me.

I'm sure you will find the same thing happening to you. You have nothing to feel guilty or shameful about. It is just part of the gender spectrum,

and you can't help being who you are any more than someone can help being who they are. You were born this way, you didn't choose it.

So be proud of who you are and join your friends in the TG Community. We welcome you!

You are very lucky to have a supportive friend. Its a shame she lives in another state, though. She could have helped you with makeup and clothes.

But at least she can give you tips. Of course you'll find a lot of tips in the CD Forum too.

After five posts your private message capability will kick in. I look forward to reading your posts.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie