The Third Week

[Guest NatashaJade]

Good afternoon ladies (and interested gentlemen),

So here is my week 3 update! Things are starting to happen in a way I cannot put aside as projections or misreadings. These hormones are potent and powerful. It is hard for me to describe the less concrete effects, but I will bravely try because I need to put these things I'm feeling into words as much as possible.

I'll start with the physical, because there is little bit going on in my body. For starters, my skin has definitely become softer and is drying out quite a bit here in the Arizona winter sun. I am finally understanding the necessity of applying lotion as part of my daily routine (my daily routine gets longer and longer...I have to wake up earlier to leave at for work at the same time - and I'm not even out yet!). I am definitely more sensitive to touch. My wife has gleefully discovered that I am, after many long years of stoic calm under attack, ticklish. I'm not sure if this is a good thing...

Oh, and my breasts have started to really hurt. At first, just an uncomfortable ache. Now I am treading lightly and have takn to wearing a sports bra or a tight cami all the time to keep them in place and keep my nipples from rubbing, sending lighting bolts of pain shooting up my chest. I liken the pain in my chest to being kicked over and over. When I start to get used to it, it kicks again to remind me that I chose this. I gladly accept my boob pain as a part of my new puberty, though. I am not complaining (much)...merely reporting. Advil is good, though. It is my friend.

My hair does seem a bit poofier. I was already letting it grow long, but it has never really been this thick. I'm trying a number of things with it, but it is what it is...some new vellus growth at the temples though. I am carefully monitoring THAT

Emotions have been all over the place. My moods have been swinging so wildly that you'd think the estrogen was an E-Ticket (okay, I'm going to keep that one...outdated and archaic Disney references remind those of us in our middle age and beyond that we have a wealth of memories that the young'uns can never really get...sorry, young'uns!). I'm trying really hard not to get too moody with my students. But it has been a roller coaster week at work without my inner chaos, I'm lucky I was able to use my KIT mantra (Keep it together...keep it together...KIT...KIT) to keep from breaking down in front of them. I just find little things to focus on and focus really hard.

I've also been in a perpetual state of almost crying. My eyes well up at random thoughts. I finally wept hard at the TV...on Monk, Leland got married on the beach in the middle of a heart shaped flower bed and...I'm starting to cry just thinking about it. My wife is dying to make me watch romantic comedies just so she can watch me. I've started to practice yawning when I feel tears coming on...

My driving has apparently become a cause for concern. I've been slightly scatterbrained and this has resulted in a few near misses...just a few! I'm just less interested in being aggressive on the road. I didn't think this would be a problem...

My father-in-law complained that I was becoming more understanding of others...I told him I still hated everyone and that made him feel better. (I lied...I don't hate everyone as much as I used to...).

I've discovered a greater degree of sadness than I have known. I can't really explain this except to say it's not depression at all. I am genuinely sad in a less personal way. I have always been empathetic to a degree, but that has grown exponentially. I listen better. I am no longer planning what I will say next rather than hearing others out. So now I find myself really listening and, quite often, this results in the kind of sadness you feel when you understand the unhappiness in others as something that is not about you.

I've been reading Jenny Boylan's She's Not There. It hits very close to home and is also a very good read.

My mileage thus far has been wonderful. My wife asked me today if I am happy. I told her I am happier. This is the right thing to be doing and I am thankful that I can do it.

Best to you all and, as always, more to come...

Gin

[Guest Erin Quinn]

Thanks for another update Gin, these are so fascinating to read and so wonderful of you to do. While everyone's experience is going to be a bit different I'd assume, for anyone starting out I'm sure this will be a help template of what they can possibly expect. And it sounds like you are doing really well.

Also reading Jenny Boylan's book (along with like half a dozen other trans-related things, I'm going to out myself to anyone who looks at the living room table, or bathroom LOL), and it is a fun read so far

Here's to more happy and evolving weeks sis,

Erin

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Gin, this transition of ours is really odd. It is th only time i can think of where you can be super happy but crying your eyes out at the same time. I know there are many posts here I am having problems aswering because, when I am crying, my typing and thinking goes to pot. I have nearly completed my 4th month and the emotional component doesnt seem to settle down.

I used to be one who could control my tickle spots but yesterday my wife proved to me that I no longer had that ability. She wasnt seriously tickling me, more like just poking me gently in the ribs but it got me laughing so hard that I was crying and I think it took me nearly 10 minutes to settle down.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Gin

Congratulations, Sweetheart....

It's so wonderful reading your progress...it takes me back to that time for me...

The crying out of the blue, ticklish, driving, etc...all things I, too experienced...

But, I'll let you in on a little secret......

The emotions ....

Later you get them under some control...Oh, not all together, but you know what to expect and and can be better prepared...\

And the nipple sensitivity....I did the very same thing...wore a camisol to keep my shirt from rubbing....

So, Sweetheat, everything that you describe has you right on course!

Welcome to the sisterhood!

HUGGGGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest viv]

Hi Gin,

What a wonderful feeling that must be, to know your future is going to be so happy.

Theres a post goin at the moment re training bra"s ,,,worth a look ??. The time your in now

wont come quickly enough for me . I will be keeping an eye on your progress Gin, so as

to have an idea what to expect when I start. Thanks so much re sharing hun, luv,viv

[Guest JCinDenver]

Gin

After 3 years of HRT I still cry watching TV. My wife & I watched "A dog named Christmas" last week. I had to hide the tears.

Yet on weekends I still hop into a dragster try to break the sound barrier!

Welcome to the club!

Jamie

[Guest ChloëC]

Gin,

Congratulations on your transition, sounds like it's working out well. That was a wonderfully detailed update. Problem for me is I'm already terribly ticklish, and I have very sensistive skin (I can barely wear a watch, and rings are practically impossible, and I wish I could remove most my clothes most of the time - but it happens to be 28 F outside right now so that isn't practical), and I already cry during a lot of movies, or stories I read, or those, um, moments. And I'm not on anything. I can just imagine if I decided.

Thanks for sharing.

Hugs

Chloë