Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

[Guest Erin Quinn]

Best wishes to everyone taking the time to read this, I greatly appreciate it. Laura's has become such a wonderful part of my internet routine, you ladies are as great a support network a girl can have.

So I came to the conclusion that had been slightly passive when discussing my decision to possibly transition with my fiance. I was greatly letting her lead the dialogue because it's her mood that changes on it more than me. So it's been very safe to let her talk about it when she's ready to listen and in a good space. However, the last few weeks I had felt this was leading to me feeling very shy and restricted from talking to her about it. So, with my separation from my job last week, we finally sat down and I told her point blank "I want to transition." Bless her heart, she didn't freak out, and honestly, she probably knew that already deep down.

We had a wonderful conversation that night, about why this was important for me, how we both could deal with the physical changes, and whatever else was coming to our minds. It was very calm, thoughtful, and caring, and now we're in a pretty good place.

So a couple night ago we went to dinner and I told her I wanted to sit in a quiet part of the restaurant. We sat down and enjoyed some light conversation before I told her this week in therapy I was going to seriously discuss a timeline for my transition. Part of this, I told her, would be deciding when I should start hormones, and I told her I thought May would be right. Six months away, I'll be settled in a new job by then enough for them to see how valuable I am, but not so much settled in socially that they will have a lot of preconceived notions about me (for when I eventually have to come out, which will be another issue all together). I told her it was a long process and I didn't want to wait another year to start.

She took it all beautiful, and we haven't talked about it much since then, she's taking her time to adjust to the reality. I'm so happy with the progress we've made, I couldn't ask for anything more.

So ladies, sisters, that's where I am. Six months more of therapy and testing the water, and I think I will be mentally ready to start down the road. I don't feel this is too soon, I really don't, I'm honestly really excited...because, just making the decision, makes it seem so real I can almost touch it. I look in the mirror and I'm really seeing Erin, my voice is slowly adjust to talking more like Erin, and I"m just feelig happier each day. I'm creatively more alive than I have been in a while, and I'm socially more awake than I have been in ages. Gosh...it's going to happen, I just wanted to let you all know.

thanks a lot, my love to all of you

Slowly coming out of her shell,

Erin

[Guest rachael1]

We had a wonderful conversation that night, about why this was important for me, how we both could deal with the physical changes, and whatever else was coming to our minds. It was very calm, thoughtful, and caring, and now we're in a pretty good place.

Erin

Hi Erin,

I think that open and honest communication is the correct path to take with our partners in regards to our trans issues.

I am glad your fiancee accepted your desire to transition and appears to very supportive.

You are doing the right thing by not rushing her and allowing her time to deal with everything.

Congratulations

Rachael

[Sally]

Congratulations Erin,

Things are going pretty well for you right now and you are handling everything just right, honestly and slowly.

I often remind our little family here that transitioning is very important and needs to be done the right way taking the time to adjust to each new step, baby steps as Donna Jean always tells me - my mantra is, "Transition is a journey not a race, take the time to enjoy every thing along the way.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest viv]

Hello Erin,

I have my plan too and when I spoke to my GT he was impressed,

not so much the the content of my plan going forward but the fact I had a

plan. It means you are projecting forward , taking things into your own hands,

being responsible for you,,,,Therapists, Psychiatrists like that, it means you

are mentally in good order . 6 months is only a mere breath away and before

you know it you will be posting re your hrt experiences . So glad your wife is

with you , priceless knowing she is there . All the best hun, luv,viv

[Guest Donna Jean]

Erin...

Honey, I like the way that you are handling it all...

Number one is th communication ...keep that open!

And the "Baby steps" is a good plan....that was mine, too....I got a little carried away at first, but got it under control!

So, talk, plan, discuss.....you have the right idea! Good on you!

Huggs!

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

Erin, I'm really proud of the way you're handling this. Letting your partner know exactly how you feel

and what you are planning, and what you both can expect from transition, is really hard to do but

oh so necessary. You never want to give her a reason to say later that "you didn't tell me this was

going to happen."

I'm in almost exactly the same place you are, Erin. I'm planning to start hormones early next year,

and I just had the detailed discussion with my wife about my timeline, and what will happen when

I start HRT. She took it much as your fiance did, with perhaps a little more concern for our future

together and how it will impact our son. Like you, I'm giving her plenty of time to adjust to this reality

and ask questions.

I wish you and your partner all the luck in the world. Having her support is a blessing that you can

never take for granted.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest angie]

Good for you Erin,

Having The Talk is big in any relationship.That you took the slow route,

letting your finacee get used to the idea was a very good move and,prepared

her for the fact that transition is coming and a part of your future life.You told

me at SAGA you had a plan and it seems that it will all fall into place,with the

bonus of your fiancee staying by your side.Congratulations Ms Erin.

Warm Hugs,

Angie

[Sally]

I am so proud of you Erin for having these discussions.

So often we get so involved with our plans and our needs that we forget how much transitioning effects everyone we know.

SOs need to be included and thought about and informed all along the way - it just isn't fair to throw all of this at them and then just go on like they should just get it all at once - think about how long we took to admit and finally accept it.

You are doing it right and I hope that it will pay huge rewards for you.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest angie]

I know a man still married to his sweetheart an FTM,whom

transitioned after twenty years together as a straight couple.

As Dan say's,It's My Transition Too.Can't get any clearer than

that can it?SO's need to be included in the transition process,

that way there is a greater chance of staying together.I know

I wish I would have taken a different path.I miss my ex terribly

and would have loved for her to be a part of my reallife everyday.

Angie