My thoughts on Anorexia

[Guest AlexJ]

Well to kick things off.... I can give my thoughts on anorexia:

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think it's caused by media images of skinny models, personally

I think they look awful - women with curves are so much sexier.

The act of depriving oneself of food is rooted in feelings of self-hatred and a need to exert some

sort of control over a small aspect of one's life, for whatever reasons.

I starved in order to remove my unwanted body fat, namely a generous feminine behind.

And to have the feeling that I could be successful at something.

It also gave me a sense of superiority over other more self-indulgent people.

Anorexia is a very selfish illness.

The act of losing a great deal of weight gives the illusion that you are disappearing, physically shrinking.

It makes you feel like you can hide in plain view, by being so tiny and thin.

Of course this isn't true: other people still see you, they see a self-obsessed crazy person.

It's also one of the hardest illnesses to treat, because sufferers actively resist treatment.

Because treatment inevitably involves gaining weight... the ultimate horror.

I just want to say that it's possible to stop being anorexic, without ballooning in weight.

It's possible to start eating normally, without being excessive.

It's possible to learn to live with food, and not hate it.

I am 5'9" and have been 130lb for the past ten years, post anorexia. I can live with that.

[Guest Rika-chama]

It's wonderful that you are no longer anorexic. I feel that this is one tough disease to overcome with hard work it can be done. I only wish I was nice and skinny as you though I weigh a little too much but I feel that a good ol' diet and exercise program would help me if I ever stop being lazy

I think anorexia needs to be taken more seriously by people and stop being the butt of everyone's jokes

Ni-paa~

[Guest o0tg0o]

for the people i'm around with, anorexia's not really a joke...

I had a few friends with it. I think I owe it to them when it was to put a limit when I lost a lot of pounds with a huge diet I did once.

good job for living through it. I'm sure it was tough to get to there.

[Guest Katie-Louise]

I was nearly 10 stone but in months of not eating I went to 7 stone but I am now 9 stone and I am now eating properly. I control what I eat now.

[Guest AlexJ]

To be honest, I felt hugely embarrassed about it, I was 25 and felt it was a teenager's illness.

It was the support of a good friend that got me to start behaving normally.

I found that exercising sensibly (weights and cycling) and eating healthy foods helped a lot.

Now I focus more on having a toned body, rather than what I weigh.

Katie-Louise, you are pretty and don't need to be so skinny to be feminine.

But congratulations on gaining a little...

7 stone is way underweight for anyone over 5ft tall.

Rika, life's too short to worry about a few pounds here and there

o0tg0o, I hope your friends get over it, and thanks for your comment.

[Guest o0tg0o]

They did They totally filled up themselves nicely and are very attractive now :-] I'm proud of them :]

Yeah, although I'm losing weight right now, once I get the influence of the hormones, I'm going to concentrate on getting a toned body I heard I need to keep some fat to distribute the hormones evenly and for filling up the right places

[Guest Rika-chama]

Rika, life's too short to worry about a few pounds here and there

Hehe I know that I used to be worried about my weight but I feel that as long as I'm not obese I should be fine. Eating is too much fun that I could never diet

Ni-paa~

[Guest Huff]

I was anorexic for a couple of years before it morphed into bulimia. For me, they were two very different diseases. the anorexia was based around trying to get my female body into male proportions, which made me very weak and skinny (ie not very manly). What I had to get over the anorexia was to accept that I was indeed in a female body and that a female body is lean and healthy between 17-21% body fat. So, I did a body comp test every few months to be my measurement guide. That way, I can have a demonstrable number that I'm either too low or in the OK range and adjust diet and exercise accordingly.

For me the bulimia was more like the opposite of the anorexia... I had made a decision to eat, but I hadn't dealt with any of my issues, so it turned into constant binge eating to the point I would puke. I was so stressed and freaked out that I took it out on food. Of course huge amounts of weight gains scared me, but the biggest reason for the purging was because I literally ate THAT much that I HAD to puke. yuck. I actually needed the support of a 12-Step group (OA) and the willingness to finally face my demons (ie being trans) to get better. The crappy part of it is that all of that eating and puking stuff has had a permanent effect on my nervous system and metabolism, so there are certain "trigger foods" I can no longer eat without triggering a binge. On the bright side, that means I have a nice healthy food plan I need to eat by, on the not so bright side, restaurant choices and parties are particularly difficult and require more planning than I'd like.

Anyway, I'm glad we put up an eating disorder forum... I suspect there's a number of transfolk with food issues of one kind or another.

MK

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

I have binge eating problems... Usually brought on from amounts of prolonged intense stress. I'll just eat myself sick. It's not healthy, especially since I'm already morbidly obese.

Now that I've generally cheered up though I'm tempted to binge-eat dramatically less often.

[Guest SanctuaryKitten]

I'd probably be more healthy around 130 lbs, but have been 120-125 lbs ever since going through a self-diagnosed anorexia period several years back. I'm 5' 7.5" or so, and sometimes i still starve myself for a day or so when i'm especially depressed.

I'm guessing MTF are especially vulnerable, also cuz i read somewhere theres less testosterone when you have a lower weight. Is this true? I hope not, cuz i'd like to banish that triggering thought from my head forever. But from personal experience, being severely underweight didn't really make me feel more feminine, just made it impossible to do anything.

[Sally]

I try not to be obsessed with weight, but I suffered from the stress/depression eating disorder - basically food was the only friend that never desserted me>

Well, it turned on me too, I am now battling trying to lse almost 145 more pounds just for my health and the fact that my surgeon of choice will not perform SRS on anyone over 250 pounds and would prefer 210 or under to the point of charging an additional 500 dollars for the surgery.

I have times when Im just fine and have been losing about 2 pounds a week for some 18 weeks - so you can see how bad off I had become.

Food issues should never be taken lightly and making jokes about anorexia, bulimia and obessity should be as politically incorrect as attacking the handicapped. However, transsexuals and people with eating disorders have a very weak lobby and only money and notarity count in this world.

Sally