Update And Help!

[Guest andreahilton]

Hai everybody!

I'm finally getting involved in a way around here again because school's over in Australia for me, I finally hopped out of depression phase and I am currently becoming into me (girl self) now, yay!

I'm finally on track to transition but mainly on my own... ;l gender therapists are "busy" until next year March..... when I first heard this, I got really furious and went in a set of panic. I already dislike them because they are claiming they are not sure and I should wait but I obviously can see they think it's a phase and I will get over from wanting to kill myself for being in the wrong body. Bleh!

That was last month and just a couple of weeks ago I decided to change anything I can. I never realized how hard going out in public as a girl which I am, gosh.

I decided to have my own real life test to make completely sure I am a girl because some idiots scared me when they told me some people detransition a few years after they finished it. I wish I didn't believe it.

I'm just curious, what's your tips and advices about real life test?

Is there any way to reduce panic and fear when walking in public as myself?

Oh and I decided that on Boxing Day, I will go shopping as me.... in the city. Yes, I know the city have million of people there everyday but probably billions on Boxing Day because it's the sale day. I decided to as least try my best looking like an average girl and hopefully nobody would care because it would be so crowd to even notice...

The things I'm happy about is my wardrobe is almost completely all female clothing, nearly no trace of male stuff in my bedroom and my hair finally got to the decent short hair that's long enough to feminine it. Yay!

So yeah, all tips, advices and stuff welcome.

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

Hi Andrea

Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands and I'm proud of you for doing that. I don't know if you call what I did a real life test. But when I came out to my Primary he wrote me a script for estrogen and that day I can out and went full time never looking back. I've had a few hard incidents that scared the heck out of me including having a 94 year old man threaten to rape me with a pool que for wanting to be a girl. But I'm three years in and am getting ready to go for my surgical consult anytime for my srs, and hope to be on the table in the next 3-4 months.

The one thing I will tell you that will carry you a long way and thats attitude. Keep your head held high with a big smile on your face and act like you belong. Don't go around frowning looking at the floor, thats going to out you fast. I thinkl 90% of a successful transition is a positive attitude.

Take Care

Charlene Leona

[Paula ult]

Andrea,

Charlene said it best hold your head high and smile while you are out, when i first started transition i remember my first outing, it was to my therapist and i was sure everyone was looking at me, but guess what they were not, i mainly went out as Paula on the weekends at first then before i knew it was all the time, i gained confidence each time, i would ask myself what was the worst that could happen if i stopped at a store, my answer was someone could look, point or say something, nothing ever happened and again my confidence grew. The majority of people are so engrossed in their own lives they do not notice things around them and people have their own issues to deal with.

In the next year till you see a therapist grow your hair, loose weight if you need to, work on your voice and start removing facial hair either by laser or electrolysis, all these take a long time, i did not start growing my hair soon enough, i am full time but my hair has some catching up to do, i wear hats but my partner says i can do without, again it is a confidence thing.

Sounds like you have the clothes situation under control, i did this right in the beginning , but i am a clothes and shoes junkie, i never seem to have enough .

De-transition, i can not understand someone who has transitioned going back but there are people that do or try to, a friend of mine who was 2 years in transition tried several times, both times she had to transition again even though it ment loosing her family, then there is Mike Penner/Christine Daniels the La Sports writer who de-transitioned in October 2008 and committed suicide the end of November 2009. Reasons for de-transition vary, unable to get a job, loss of fiends and family. That is the reason a GT is so important, they can help determine if transition is right for you, if you have money, family, job or other issues transition does not solve those.

Paula

[Guest viv]

Hi Andrea,

Totally agree with everyone. Confidence is 99% of successful passing.

Good makeup technique and your good to go girl, good luck and keep us all

updated. Luv, viv

[Guest angie]

Charlene said it like it is.

Dress well,but to blend in,try not to wear anything that will make

you stand out in a crowd.Just look at what the gg's are wearing to

get an idea of how you wish to present.And go with confidence,do

not worry,or look around to see if anyone is looking.Keep a smile

on your face,head up,and be happy you have the courage to step

out and just enjoy the sensation of being a girl.Enjoy shopping as

your real self,it is a feeling you will want to repeat often.

Big Hugs of Encouragement,

Angie

[Guest Anna_SF]

Congratulations! I've never so frightened and happy at the same time. Of the things to watch out for:

Overdoing it with the clothes. I wanted to wear everything at once. Get some sensible clothes - black v-neck sweater, women's coat,

Overdoing it with the makeup. I gained a little too much confidence in the first month and started going way overboard on the makeup. Eyebrows are clutch - get them thin & trained.

Shoes! I thought bopping around the house in heels was RLT - wrong. The shoes will start to turn on you after about 2 blocks. Get a pair of comfortable boots, they have larger heels and you can wear socks. Stock up on moleskin and band-aids. Get a pair of comfortable shoes you can put in your bag (not purse) as backup.

Add about 1/2 hour of extra time to your trip because you have to walk much slower.

Get a purse with a zipper close and a pocket book. I find you don't worry so much about pick-pockets when you have a zipper. When you are carry a bag or two your purse can end up on your back and you can't really feel it because winter coats are so heavy. Don't carry any extra stuff in your purse. It's embarrassing and nerve-wracking when you are digging through it for things. You really don't need lips gloss, lipstick, compact, hair clips, tissues, when you're just starting. I would carry moleskin & band-aids.

Bathrooms. I did not forsee this one and it's been a stumbling point. Have a back-up plan i.e. Starbucks usually has unisex bathrooms but Macy's, etc. doesn't. Malls don't either. This can be the scariest part, especially if you are gaining some acceptance and confidence from friends. Don't push your luck.

Bag/scarf/gloves/hat/purse/bra straps/hoop earrings. When you are navigating the broken sidewalks of the world your straps will slide down, hair get caught under your bag, wind blow hair into your mouth as you cross the street and then you have to deal with scarves and hats when you enter a building. Beware of hoop earrings. I constantly poke/pull on them when I try to adjust my purse or bag or hair or bra & camisole. Things will be sliding off your shoulder at the worst possible time. I was crossing the street, adjusting my bag & purse and my foot popped out of my heels.

Your hair will get caught under your purse strap. It's terribly annoying.

ipod - not essential but music seems to help me get lost in my own world.

avoid jeans. They are so comfortable I tend to slip back into mail mode without even thinking about it.

95% of people will do a doubletake or the sly 'corner-of-the-eye' look. 5% will blatantly stare as if you had just arrived from Venus. People will stare less if you are NOT wearing sunglasses, they don't want to get caught being rude.

I've been out for a month and it's hard. Maintenance is the key - even if you are wearing tights that day, if you have time shave your legs. Shave your forearms, chest and neck. Don't put it all off until you have time - you won't.

Good Luck

Anna

[Guest angie]

That was good Anna,

I forgot how hard it is at the begining.It has been too many years of

living in role to remember the difficulty of the newly minted women.

Anna's advice of the Ipod works wonders,what you can't hear,cant hurt.

Oh one piece of advice on the purse issue.When bending over,slip the

purse under your arm,that way it wont swing forward.I have knocked

the crud out of ladies with my big heavy purse before I learned that one.

Good Girl Anna,

Angie

[Guest andreahilton]

Hi Andrea

Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands and I'm proud of you for doing that. I don't know if you call what I did a real life test. But when I came out to my Primary he wrote me a script for estrogen and that day I can out and went full time never looking back. I've had a few hard incidents that scared the heck out of me including having a 94 year old man threaten to rape me with a pool que for wanting to be a girl. But I'm three years in and am getting ready to go for my surgical consult anytime for my srs, and hope to be on the table in the next 3-4 months.

The one thing I will tell you that will carry you a long way and thats attitude. Keep your head held high with a big smile on your face and act like you belong. Don't go around frowning looking at the floor, thats going to out you fast. I thinkl 90% of a successful transition is a positive attitude.

Take Care

Charlene Leona

Yep, attitude is the biggest part of transition and I will have a positive one! Good luck on your srs, hopefully it's very soon!

Andrea,

Charlene said it best hold your head high and smile while you are out, when i first started transition i remember my first outing, it was to my therapist and i was sure everyone was looking at me, but guess what they were not, i mainly went out as Paula on the weekends at first then before i knew it was all the time, i gained confidence each time, i would ask myself what was the worst that could happen if i stopped at a store, my answer was someone could look, point or say something, nothing ever happened and again my confidence grew. The majority of people are so engrossed in their own lives they do not notice things around them and people have their own issues to deal with.

In the next year till you see a therapist grow your hair, loose weight if you need to, work on your voice and start removing facial hair either by laser or electrolysis, all these take a long time, i did not start growing my hair soon enough, i am full time but my hair has some catching up to do, i wear hats but my partner says i can do without, again it is a confidence thing.

Sounds like you have the clothes situation under control, i did this right in the beginning , but i am a clothes and shoes junkie, i never seem to have enough biggrin.gif .

De-transition, i can not understand someone who has transitioned going back but there are people that do or try to, a friend of mine who was 2 years in transition tried several times, both times she had to transition again even though it ment loosing her family, then there is Mike Penner/Christine Daniels the La Sports writer who de-transitioned in October 2008 and committed suicide the end of November 2009. Reasons for de-transition vary, unable to get a job, loss of fiends and family. That is the reason a GT is so important, they can help determine if transition is right for you, if you have money, family, job or other issues transition does not solve those.

Paula

That's great that your confidence grew when in public! I hope mines will do the same. Oh yeah, I'm growing my hair out, no need to lose weight for me luckily, I'm working very hard on my voice and thank god I have not develop a beard yet, I'm still young. One thing I learnt, is that, there's heap of feminine styles that can be done with short hair. De-transition is scary and I still can't understand fully why people do it. Luckily I know I won't since I'm secure in everything.

Hi Andrea,

Totally agree with everyone. Confidence is 99% of successful passing.

Good makeup technique and your good to go girl, good luck and keep us all

updated. Luv, viv smile.gif

I agree, confidence is 99% of successful passing. I'm close to ready with makeup techique so yay!

Charlene said it like it is.

Dress well,but to blend in,try not to wear anything that will make

you stand out in a crowd.Just look at what the gg's are wearing to

get an idea of how you wish to present.And go with confidence,do

not worry,or look around to see if anyone is looking.Keep a smile

on your face,head up,and be happy you have the courage to step

out and just enjoy the sensation of being a girl.Enjoy shopping as

your real self,it is a feeling you will want to repeat often.

Big Hugs of Encouragement,

Angie

Yep, I understand what to wear and what not to wear in almost every situation.

Congratulations! I've never so frightened and happy at the same time. Of the things to watch out for:

Overdoing it with the clothes. I wanted to wear everything at once. Get some sensible clothes - black v-neck sweater, women's coat,

Overdoing it with the makeup. I gained a little too much confidence in the first month and started going way overboard on the makeup. Eyebrows are clutch - get them thin & trained.

Shoes! I thought bopping around the house in heels was RLT - wrong. The shoes will start to turn on you after about 2 blocks. Get a pair of comfortable boots, they have larger heels and you can wear socks. Stock up on moleskin and band-aids. Get a pair of comfortable shoes you can put in your bag (not purse) as backup.

Add about 1/2 hour of extra time to your trip because you have to walk much slower.

Get a purse with a zipper close and a pocket book. I find you don't worry so much about pick-pockets when you have a zipper. When you are carry a bag or two your purse can end up on your back and you can't really feel it because winter coats are so heavy. Don't carry any extra stuff in your purse. It's embarrassing and nerve-wracking when you are digging through it for things. You really don't need lips gloss, lipstick, compact, hair clips, tissues, when you're just starting. I would carry moleskin & band-aids.

Bathrooms. I did not forsee this one and it's been a stumbling point. Have a back-up plan i.e. Starbucks usually has unisex bathrooms but Macy's, etc. doesn't. Malls don't either. This can be the scariest part, especially if you are gaining some acceptance and confidence from friends. Don't push your luck.

Bag/scarf/gloves/hat/purse/bra straps/hoop earrings. When you are navigating the broken sidewalks of the world your straps will slide down, hair get caught under your bag, wind blow hair into your mouth as you cross the street and then you have to deal with scarves and hats when you enter a building. Beware of hoop earrings. I constantly poke/pull on them when I try to adjust my purse or bag or hair or bra & camisole. Things will be sliding off your shoulder at the worst possible time. I was crossing the street, adjusting my bag & purse and my foot popped out of my heels.

Your hair will get caught under your purse strap. It's terribly annoying.

ipod - not essential but music seems to help me get lost in my own world.

avoid jeans. They are so comfortable I tend to slip back into mail mode without even thinking about it.

95% of people will do a doubletake or the sly 'corner-of-the-eye' look. 5% will blatantly stare as if you had just arrived from Venus. People will stare less if you are NOT wearing sunglasses, they don't want to get caught being rude.

I've been out for a month and it's hard. Maintenance is the key - even if you are wearing tights that day, if you have time shave your legs. Shave your forearms, chest and neck. Don't put it all off until you have time - you won't.

Good Luck

Anna

Wow, so many bad things happen with a purse! Yep, I understand about the shoes, gosh I know they can be painful! I carry a lot of things in my purse already... luckily no problems for that part yet. I'll remember about the hair getting under the purse strap, the hoops, and how terrible things can happen in a simple moment, ek! Oh gosh, public toilets, that will be the worst! I'll just try my best not going or find a good unisex one. Ooooh I'm going put an ipod on my shopping list for next year. I wear jeans a lot... oh my, I agree, they are comfy. I will need to move on from it soon as I can plus I need to stop wearing converse shoes all the time and wear something different for once. Ek, shaving is so gosh, hard. I'm deciding to do waxing soon that way I don't have to shave every day. Thanks so much for all the tips!

That was good Anna,

I forgot how hard it is at the begining.It has been too many years of

living in role to remember the difficulty of the newly minted women.

Anna's advice of the Ipod works wonders,what you can't hear,cant hurt.

Oh one piece of advice on the purse issue.When bending over,slip the

purse under your arm,that way it wont swing forward.I have knocked

the crud out of ladies with my big heavy purse before I learned that one.

Good Girl Anna,

Angie

Thanks! I'll remember that advice!

[Guest ChrisRydia]

Yay, you go girl.

Take a step at a time. You will get the jist of it.

hugs

Rydia