New Member

[Guest jlg]

Hi, I just learned on Thursday that my 26 year old, married, child is in HRT. I am very uninformed and in need of some informed support. I live in a small, rural,conservative community in the mid-west and a live support group is not available at this time. My daughter (mtf) had not been ready to share her journey and struggles until now. I know to most in this community I will seem so very clueless, and I am. I guess I am just looking for reassurance that my family can make in through and be better on the other side of shock.

[Sally]

Hello,

Do come in and have a comfortable chair here by the fire, I'll bring you some of my Playground-wide Famous double chocolate chip cookies and it looks like Donna Jean left plenty of hot cocoa before she went off to bed so I'll pour you a big mug full.

Now hold the mug in both hands and hold it very close to your face, do you feel the warmth.

Only part of that is the cocoa the rest is the love and support from all of the members.

You have a lot of questions and you will have many more so we will do our best to answer them all.

I am glad that you referred to your child as your daughter, we are very sensitive about that - it may seem like a small thing but it is a constant reminder that there is a resistance to our transitioning.

So well done - I can answer a few of you r questions myself as I have been on HRT since August 19 of this year, others have been on longer and others have just started or are about to start so we can give you a pretty good picture of what to expect but everyone is a little different.

So glad to welcome you to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Jlg,

Thank you for coming to us for help in your understanding of your child. Sweetheart, first thing that you must understand that being transgendered has nothing to do with you as a parent. You did not ever fail your child so please do not think that you ever did anything wrong. Hon, being transgendered is something that one is born with. Some may not recognize their transgenderedness until late in their lives (or even not at all). Some people immediately recognize that they are not born with the "right" gender. The important thing here for you hon is that do not ever think for a second that you ever did anything wrong hon. Being transgendered is biological and no one has control over it anymore as one has the control over eye color or handedness.

Now hon, so that you know, Laura's has a Parents forum for parents of transgendered children to be able to discuss what they feel. I urge you to go to that forum and read what has been posted. I want you to understand that you are not alone hon.

Read the parents forum and do continue to post. I will help you through all of this.

You are welcomed here hon, and remember that we are all here to help.

I will certainly provide you with more information as you ask.

I am a parent of children in their twenties also, so I really do understand

Love

Brenda

[Guest van-na]

Hi jig ,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We have Parents meetings Thurs 9pm est and you are welcome to attend.

And please invite your daughter to join us, we have MTF meetings Mon & Sat 9pm est, if she would like to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Guest Donna Jean]

Good morning, jlg....

Welcome to the Playground!

We have a wonderful S/O and parent support forum and all of the people over there are in the same position as you, but have experience by now and can be very helpful to you.

Please do visit there....OK?

You'll meet folks like Twinstar, Again, anyushka and Meridian to name a few!

And feel free to read all that you can...the more knowledgeable you know about it, the better equipped you'll be to handle it all....

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

Just seeing your attitude from the language in your post is very encouraging, stick with that and you'll be just fine I'm sure, yes you should talk to people, read everything you can and be prepared for some tough times but you sound like a great parent. I'm sure your daughter wishes she'd come out to you years ago now.

[Carolyn Marie]

Hi, jlg and welcome to Laura's.

The fact that you are here is a testament to your love and support of your daughter, and I commend you

for that from the bottom of my heart. She is going through a tremendously stressful period in her life,

and knowing that her family supports her will make that so much easier.

I kow it's hard for you to understand, and will take time for you to come to terms with it. Please give yourself

time to adapt to this new reality. Just be there for your daughter.

You didn't say if she was a member of Laura's yet. If not, please encourage her to join as well. This will be a

great resource for her.

Some of the parents will be along soon to join in welcoming you. I encourage you to ask all the questions you

have. We will be there for you.

Carolyn Marie

[Carolyn Marie]

Hello, again, Jlg. We had a technical hicuup with your post yesterday, so I'm doing another reply to get your

introduction back on the first page so more people will see it. I encourage you also to post any questions you

have in the Parents and S.O. Forum.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest JeanVier]

jlg, welcome to Laura's!

It does my heart much good to see that you are online, seeking community, seeking to accept and learn about your daughter (and, like others have said, thank you for calling her your 'daughter'). I am so glad to see that you want to love and support her.

If you enjoy books, I recommend "What Becomes You" by Aaron Raz Link and Hilda Raz. Granted, Aaron went the other way (FTM), but he decided to transition around age 30. Half of the book is written by him, the other half by his mum, and the parent-child dynamics are gripping, poetic, and so illuminating. They came from rural, conservative Nebraska, so the transition was even more difficult. They made it through, in beautiful fashion, so I highly recommend this book. It is fairly inexpensive on Amazon.

*offers a hug*

Let us know what we can do to help.

-JV