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Have A Question For My Gf's


Guest Sarah Michelle

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Guest sarah f

Does anyone out there that have not come out to their family or SO have a problem with them telling you not to wear earings because it makes you look gay. My wife feels this way but I can't help wanting to wear them. So right now to compromise I just wear them to bed. I don't want to do this anymore and I am wondering how I tell her that I am going to wear them no matter how she feels about it. It is not like I am wearing something gaudy. They are only little diamonds. If anyone is in my situation or have been please let me know how you handled it.

Love,

Sarah F

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Guest Vivian

Though I am not married, I wouldn't have a problem if any of my family said that. I would kind of take it as a compliment and continue wearing them. I just had my ears pierced two weeks ago and I love wearing my earings. Earings make me look so much prettier. Anyway, things are a little more complicated when your married I guess so I'm not sure.

Love,

Vivian

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Guest nymphblossom

I have heard of other wives who feel this way. My wife has agreed that I can get my ears pierced once my hair is long enough to cover them, but for now I wear cute hoop clip on's when I present as female. it is important for us that I maintain my male presentation so I do not wear earrings when I present as a guy and will not when they are pierced.

Blossom

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Guest Charlene_Leona

I didn't have my right ear pierced until after I came out full time. But when I went to my grandfathers funeral I had to present Male no choice or I would have been hurt. But I did wear both earrings that day, my mom had a few questions but she shrugged them off.

Take Care

Charlene Leona

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Guest sarah f

Just an FYI, I have had both of mine pierced since I was 18. That is 15 years ago. My wife accepted me then, I just don't understand why she has a problem with it now. I actually had both ears pierced twice on the bottom and one on the top.

Love,

Sarah F

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Guest Michele H

Maybe your wife is beginning to think that there is more going on then justy wearing ear rings - THE talk may not be that far off - whether you are ready or not.

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Guest NatashaJade

I've had my ears pierced for years. I guess being from Southern California, there is less of a stigma for men wearing earrings. I know that the further towards the midwest you go, the more difficulty people have with this, but all you have to do is pull up pictures of all the decidedly male celebrities who are pierced and say that it has nothing to do with being gay or straight. It is just a fashion choice and here in the 2nd decade of the 21st century, it shouldn't even be an issue.

luv

Gin

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Sarah, first of all i can sure identify with your wanting to wear earrings. They just add that bit of sparkle and femininity. It's a problem trying to be feminine in stealth even in small ways. Think it's a little like sticking your toes in a cold water rather than just being in the water. One of the things we all hopefully can learn to do is set healthy boundaries with loved ones, which includes how we dress IMHO. That would mean whether we are out or not. Turning the tables do you choose for your wife how she wears her hair or what she wears? Not suggesting a solution here but maybe some things to consider.

Ricka

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Guest Amanda joan

Sarah,

I think my experience tells me that she is questioning why you want to wear them and is using the gay comment to start a conversation. If you don't have a good reason (lie) for wearing them she is not going to accept it. New or not she has 15 years of experience that is telling her that it is something else maybe. I truely believe that she deserves the truth. It may put stress on your relationship but, lieing is not a component of a strong relationship.

I know this is scary. I have not faired well in my marriage when it came to these issues. My being transgendered turned out to be the main thing that ended my marriage. If your SO is not attracted to feminine qualities it may be that they just turn her off. My ex-Wife said that she is a woman that needs to be loved by a man. She did not have any desire for me to exhibit female quailties except when it came to house cleaning and taking care of the kids.

It is hard to be in the closet and it is hard to be out. You need to find a balance with her that will work for both of you.

Peace & Love Amanda

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Guest Jeannine Bean

When I was a teenager, I was not out with my family and I got crap about my earrings, nailpolish, makeup, clothing, everything.

With some of my girlfriends, in my early twenties, before I was really out with anybody, they would get uncomfortable with my earrings, my clothing, my nail polish (didn't wear makeup as much then).

I'll say this: My friend just stopped smoking pot and abusing booze. So now her friends don't know what to do with her. Some seem offended that she doesn't want to drink with them anymore... others are gradually accepting a new role for her in their lives, and instead of going out boozing, are having a cup of coffee then going to a movie.

It's cool, but it takes a lot of getting used too for people...

Life's weird.

--Jeannine

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