Lifestyle And Gender Acceptance

[Guest ChloëC]

This is a very difficult topic to consider because in some ways it goes to the one of the basic problems we all face, yet instead of being unified, we seem to be quite divided, and I guess I'm not sure why.

In one of the other threads on Drag Shows, there has been a lot of differences of opinion on acceptance of certain lifestyles. A number of people seem unsure at best, embarrassed to a degree, or unsupportive of certain choices others have made. To me, what the problem is as I see it, boils down to - A lot of people seem to say "I'm am making or will make my own lifestyle choices and where I would like to be in the future, and I believe I will be comfortable with it and I would be even more comfortable if others would accept me for it. But, I'm not comfortable with the lifestyle choices of certain groups of others and I believe they are making it difficult for me, and I would like them to change."

I have seen the above mind set mentioned in threads about how the general public views transgendered people (which I am including most of the different groupings in this site), in threads about how family members view those relatives they have been told were transgendered, in threads where others in the gender issue area such as gay people view transgendered people, and like the above mentioned thread about Drag Shows, how transgendered people view female impersonators as well as poorly passing transvestites or cross-dressers. And I probably missed some others.

To me, we're all in the same boat here. The general public for the most part, feels at the least, uncomfortable about us, and would like us to change for their own feelings. I'm not sure what our finding of fault with other groups really does to improve our standing and acceptance in public, and isn't that what we're all hoping for and one of the reasons we're here looking for support? Because it's so difficult to find it elsewhere?

Because I have come to realize that my cross-dressing is not really any kind of problem to others (like so many others, I thought I was a freak, a queer, so many other things, and then I realized - I am not any of those things!!!), and so, I believe now that others should cause me no problem for me to live my life the way I want, but I also realize that if others want to live their own lives different from my life, I really should not have any problem with them. Especially if I believe they should have no problems with me.

One of the discussions that I found quite fascinating here was how different transgendered people viewed their future possible partners. Some saw themselves with same sex relationships, some saw themselves in bi-sexual relationships, and some saw themselves in opposite sex relationships. I saw absolutely nothing wrong with any of these choices because the people involved saw themselves as being happiest in their chosen lifestyle. I have my own preference which I mentioned elsewhere, but other then being a statistic, it really shouldn't mean anything to anyone else, except to those who may have read it and thought - oh! I guess it really is all right about the choice I made. Someone else made the same choice, and I feel better that I'm not alone. And don't we all feel just a little better because we have found we really aren't alone?

People, that is support. I don't expect everybody on this site to say, Hey, Chloë, not only do I fully support every choice you have made and every one you're going to make, but I will also do them myself, because you're a great example. That's crazy to expect that. What I hope for, as with anyone else, is that some will take the time to say, Hey, I'm glad that you seem to have chosen a future where you're happy. And that makes me happy, and...good for you.

So, I will say to any gay person - Are you happy? If you are, well good for you. And if you're not, is there anything I might be able to say to help you get to that point. As I would say the same to non-transgendered people, to female impersonators, to drag queens, to anyone who is asking for support and possibly some verbal assistance. And if by giving some help in some way to another that they find useful, I'll be a little happier, because they are.

You know, I don't want to shut anybody out. I'd much rather take everybody in. Especially that heretic, rebel, thing to flout.

But that's my opinion, and any others are welcome, because as I said above, I'm not sure why it's the way it is.

Chloë

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hey Chloe,

Very well said. Indeed, we all come here for some degree of understanding and support. We all are individuals and as such have different needs and desires. Our differences is what make us uniquely who we are. Our similarities is what draws us to Laura's. Our similarities is beyond being transgendered. As you know, there are many transgendered sites that we can and probably do already belong to. What is it about Laura's that compells us to remain here? I think that it is the incredible high caliber of people here that I have not seen on other sites that draws us and keeps us here (no offense to other sites). There is a level of genuineness and understanding that outshines everywhere else that I have been.

As different as we are, we all have the same need... acceptance and understanding, a community that we can share our experiences with and from that sharing, a deeper understanding of ourselves and humanity may emerge.

Thank you for this wonderful topic

Brenda

[Guest CharlieRose]

I agree. We shouldn't be fighting for transsexual acceptance or gay acceptance or whatever. We should be working to make a world where people can be themselves happily.

[Guest rachael1]

Hi Chloë,

Thanks for posting such a thought provoking post.

I agree with you 100% that we are all in the same boat and should be more accepting of life style choices of others providing they don't harm anyone else.

We all decide on our own paths and they are all unique and tailored to the individual and as such should be respected by others.

United we stand.

Divided we fall.

Rachael

[Guest sarah f]

A very good topic Chloe. I myself believe that you do what your heart tells you to do. I might not do it myself like going out in drag but that does not mean that someone that does is wrong and should feel bad about themselves. I think as long as you are happy than it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

Love,

Sarah F