Crossdressing And Depression.

[Guest Rebecca Quentin]

If I go for sometime without fully cross-dressing, I find it can make me feel very depressed. I'm just so very much happier when I'm fully en-femme. The question I have though, is that I'm not sure if this might be a sign that I'm more than just a crossdresser because I'm so unhappy when dressed male yet so very happy when dressed female. Does anyone else experience these sorts of feelings?

[Guest van-na]

Dear Rebecca,

<< hug>>

I use to feel that same way before I accepted who and what I really am, and decided to transition.

The difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual is often a fine line of self acceptance.

A good therapist can help you to work through these feelings and issues, an help you find the path that is right for you.

vanna

[Guest Donna Jean]

Dear Rebecca,

<< hug>>

I use to feel that same way before I accepted who and what I really am, and decided to transition.

The difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual is often a fine line of self acceptance.

A good therapist can help you to work through these feelings and issues, an help you find the path that is right for you.

vanna

Rebecca.....

I have to agree with Vanna here......

Most of us MTF's crossdressed during our life and many of us thought that was where we were at....Only to find out through therapy that it goes a LOT deeper than cross dressing.

That is why CDing gave us some temporary relief.

But you'll need to get to the bottom of this and find out where you stand...and, of course, a good GT is the answer there!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest sarah f]

I have to agree with Donna and Van-na. You just have to remember to do what makes you most happy in life. If it is to become a girl than you might explore that futher. You don't want to look back in 10 to 20 years and say to yourself that you made a mistake. Good Luck

Love,

Sarah f

[Guest ChloëC]

Rebecca,

As a cross-dresser, I may have some feelings of depression when not dressed, mostly because I feel so much more relaxed and calm when dressed. Part of that I think is because I would like to dress for several days rather then the odd moments I have available now. And that may give me some idea of where I want to go. But I think I was also, like you, probably a little depressed at times when I was younger, but I learned to deal with the times I was and wasn't dressed. Acceptance, I suppose, also as I've grown older with family, house, etc, etc, I just don't have as much time to think about it because so much else is going on.

But, as you might have already found out, there are a number of women here who originally thought they were cross-dressers and after exploring themselves (with therapy when needed) found they had a deeper desire. But there are others here who feel themselves as male that are happy enough with just some type of cross-dressing.

So, we have here a wide spectrum of acting on one's desires. But only you can determine what you really want and what will make you happy. Therapy for that can be a good start.

Hugs

Chloë

[Carolyn Marie]

Ditto the advice of the other girls, Rebecca.

When I came here I was convinced that a cross dresser is who I was. It was only after months of

talking with others, reading their life stories, and finally therapy, that showed me who I truly was,

as well as the road to happiness.

I'm NOT saying that it is the same for you, but you need to dig deeper to find the truth. A G.T. is the

best person to help you do that. I wish you luck.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Penelope]

I'm so unhappy when dressed male yet so very happy when dressed female. Does anyone else experience these sorts of feelings?

Dear Rebecca,

Although I can only speak from six months conscious existence as Penelope. I am reasonably certain that I continue to cross dress because I like to. I would be unhappy if I couldn't dress female but, currently, I remain happy being predominantly male. An underlying dysphoria might emerge in future as my female consciousness develops; and it would have to be resolved.

Judging by your remark above I can only agree with the others that it is time for you to consult a good gender therapist.

I wish you the best in your future journey.

Hugs,

P.

[Guest Maryteresa]

You're in the right place, Rebecca. Laura's Playground has forums for all types. This little section is just for crossdressers like me, but if your feelings run much deeper and you wish to transition, then it's best to converse with those others in the appropriate section(s) in other corners of the playground. Someone may be able to steer you in the direction of an appropriate councellor/ therapist.

Good luck with it, and I hope it lifts your depression.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Rebecca,

Crossdressing is a very important step in expressing your true self. There is actually no such thing as just a crossdresser. Identifying as a crossdresser is very OK! I know and completely understand your feelings of melancholy when not dressing as you feel that you should. Many have suggested a gender therapist to help you through all of this, and they are right. A gender therapist is the right path for you. In the interim, consder the following...

What do you consider crossdressing? Do you dress, or do you go beyond dressing and shave, wear perfume, jewelery, etc.

Do you fundamentally see yourself as female or male?

Do you see your "femme" clothes as womens clothes or your clothes?

These and many other questions help better to understand yourself.

Don't feel obligated to answer these questions publically here. Just think about those questions, and how you would answer them.

With Love

Brenda

[Guest Rebecca Quentin]

Thank you everyone for your replies. They are all very helpful and have given me much to think about. I've had some of my (local/real-life) friends also tell me that it sounds like I should be talking to a gender-therapist. I now really think I need to properly seek one out. It might not be too easy to find one in my relatively small home city, but even if it were once a month or one every two weeks, I could easily travel the 200-300 miles for it (on weekend, heh). Still, it does seem this should be a priority for me.

Thanks also Bernii for the questions you posed. I won't answer them directly here, but my answers would seem to also suggest that my CDing is much more than just CDing. I'll also take some time to explore the other forums here. Also, I'm really very lucky to have local friends who are incredibly supportive of me, even going so far as to help me with hair-removal (her boyfriend doesn't even seem to mind this thankfully). They've also really boosted my confidence by complimenting how good a girl I look when fully-dressed with make-up etc on, and I must say the first time I was fully-dressed, a few years ago now, I was very pleasantly surprised with how well it turned out.

In some ways I suppose I'm lucky in that I'm single and live by myself, so exploring myself can be easier than it might have been otherwise.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

To answer you question, does anyone else get these feelings?

YES - for 50 plus years. BUT there is a catch - both true transsexuals and episodic crossdresses have about the same feelings of depression when not dressed. It talkes a gender trained therapist to sort that out.

My definition is only my opinion, but here goes. Crossdressing to feel 'feminine is CD related - tends to be episodic and is something that is much more common than the non-community knows. Crossdressing to be 'female' is TS related - tends to be consistant and is rarer.

I was dressing as an affirmation of my femaleness. I also always prayed that I could be a woman someday. I hated being a male. Yet I was so dense I thought I could be a CD - and wasn't sure about being TS. It took therapy.

Hope this helps.

Elizabeth

[gennee]

In my experience, I was happy as a crossdresser. Later I sensed that there was something deeper within me than just the clothing. There's a song called "Still Waters Run Deep". On the surface it's seems quiet then one day I go across a road which alters my life. In the past year I migrated from CDTV to TGTS.

Gennee

[Guest brenda lee]

If I go for sometime without fully cross-dressing, I find it can make me feel very depressed. I'm just so very much happier when I'm fully en-femme. The question I have though, is that I'm not sure if this might be a sign that I'm more than just a crossdresser because I'm so unhappy when dressed male yet so very happy when dressed female. Does anyone else experience these sorts of feelings?

Rebecca, Sweetie I feel just like you.When dressed as a man I hate it, as a female I am my true self.LOL Brenda Lee

[Guest Wendae]

I agree with Brenda Lee.

[Guest Suzanne Emilia]

My fiancee is often very depressed when she has to live life as a boy. When she gets to dress up, do her make up and shave her legs she doesn't just undergo a transition physically, it's mentally too and she's calmer, happier and far more confident. I think this is a common theme, and it makes sense to be. No one's gonna feel their best living as someone they're not. xxx

[Guest SilverDragon]

If you are super-depressed and down all the time, you may be more than a crossdresser.

Aside, it sucks not to be able to dress. Ever since I lost my stash to a force purge, I have re-learned the need-but-live-without-it that came with not possessing a stash at all.

I believe the question is, that if you live in an ideal world where you could dress however you want full time, would you allways wear women's clothes?

I think that is a good distinguisher. (of course, there are accpetions, but for people unsure, this may be a good place to start)

I hope this helped.