8 Weeks Gone By

[Guest NatashaJade]

Greetings, dear ones.

So here I am at the end of my eighth week of hrt. I haven't been around much this week because I've returned to work after vacation and it is quite exhausting. We've started rehearsals for our spring show and, well, there's all that teaching and none of the sleep I've grown to love so much. Being in front of my students has made me quite self-conscious of my chest growth and wearing a bra. While I know they don't notice, it doesn't stop me from thinking they notice, which makes me a little crazy. The hardest part is playing Mr. because I am finding it harder not to be me all the time and he is not the part I like to play. But I have to because that's my job. Earlier this week some of my devoted students were in my room during lunch time opining about "transies" by which I think they were referring to crossdressers. There wasn't a negative vibe, just a confused vibe. I wish I could educate them about us! Sadly, I cannot. One day, perhaps, when I am finally out and, for obvious reasons, no longer their teacher. Hopefully they will understand.

Physically, I have noticed the hair on the back of my hands has been coming back from epilating much more slowly, thinner and lighter. This makes me quite happy as I hate hate hate the hair on my hands probably as much as the hair on the rest of my body. I see my hands more than any other part of me on a regular basis and while they will always be way too big, hairless at least helps the illusion. I understand they may thin out a little over time, I look forward to that as well. For now, I'll tkae hairless or mostly hairless. The less apelike I am the better.

Also, the painful knot behind my nipples is getting larger and larger (and more sensitive). It is hard to carry my daughter sometimes because she rests on my chest, but I'll take that pain. What there is on my chest is also, for lack of a better term, becoming perkier. I've never thought of myself as perky, but I'll take perky breasts. I'll take them any old time. I'm starting to get a little cleavage as well. Yeah, cleavage!

I've noticed my strength is waning a bit. I have always been naturally strong, able to carry sheets of 3/4" plywood with little trouble and manhandle pretty much anything to where I need it. Now, I'm feeling the weight of things a lot more. I can still get them off the ground, but I definitely feel weaker. It's a good thing I have a crew of kids to move stuff around my shop at school. My father-in-law will be sad when I can no longer move his furniture around for him by myself. So sad. Of course, he'll be sadder when his favorite son becomes his not-so-favorite daughter-in-law. My little change will not go over well with my in-laws. They'll bite their tongues a bit, but they'll be very unhappy with my change. I found a gycomastia swim suit for this summer, so I can go one more season without them knowing...but this is the last summer, methinks. My plan isn't to come out to anyone until 2011 anyway, so it'll work out (although my best laid plans ALWAYS go astray...I am sure I will be outed long before then and then I'll have to make new plans.

Emotionally, no big changes. Still crying over little things and moody over even littler things. So it goes, as Mr. Vonnegut said. I will survive, as Ms. Gaynor said.

Only 18 more weeks until summer vacation...

More to come...

luv

Gin

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Honey

Its a wonderous journey - ENJOY!

Lizzy

[Guest Donna Jean]

My Dear Gin.......

Wonderful, scary, exciting, terrifying.....that's our journey....

I was building a floor in a large room on my house..3/4" plywood and I was able to move it..

But some months after starting HRT I could only manage to push, shove and drag them....

I went to Memphis for a week last September...

When I returned home my wife had hired a couple of Amish men to finish the floor for me....sweet.

She said .."I was tired of watching you struggle with the boards...."

We're not supermen any more....

Just girls..

Love

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Dear,

Yes indeed time does fly by so fast. You are well on your way (I have a little confession to make, when I wear a bra to work I let the strap show intentionally sometimes ... my bad)

Love you

Brenda

[Guest sarah f]

I am glad to hear that you are starting to feel and see the growth. I am sorry it makes you feel bad that you still have to be a guy at work. At least you only have one more year before you come out and it will go by so quick for you.

I am in the same boat you are in with the in-laws. I can't imagine what will be said and how they will react when I finally do come out to everyone. They are a really close and big family unlike mine. It will be hard to face them after some changes happen. Good luck with your in-laws and hopefully the will be understanding as your wife is.

Love,

Sarah F

[Sally]

Congratulations on all of the changes, Gin!

It is a journey that most people never have the courage or support to begin much less complete, largely due to a total lack of support.

You have your amazing wife and all of us here so you will never have to make this journey alone.

The three of us that met in Memphis cover a wide range of the Journey with Lizzy approaching month 14 and Dee Jay approaching 12 and myself about to start into month number 6 so if you have specific questions that you would like to know about PM any or all three of us, we will be more than glad to tell you of our experiences, it might just help a little.

Congratulations on this big step toward becoming the beautiful woman that you have kept hidden from the world for so long.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest NatashaJade]

I am glad to hear that you are starting to feel and see the growth. I am sorry it makes you feel bad that you still have to be a guy at work. At least you only have one more year before you come out and it will go by so quick for you.

Thanks, Sarah. The thing that saddens me the most is that I really love my job. Teaching theatre was always my dream and I have been blessed with the opportunity to do it for the last few years. My wife and I are going to try to open our own school in two years and, should that work out, I should be able to find a way to be myself in my new position as an administrator. Should our school not work out, there will be nothing for us here in Arizona and we'll move to Oregon where I know there are trans teachers, so I can hopefully continue my practice. But, for right now, I'm okay with being a guy at work because my work is really important to me and it is the only way I can do it currently.

luv

Gin

[Guest Erin Quinn]

I'm always happy to read your posts. So excited for you, and thank you so much Gin for sharing so much with us

[Guest NatashaJade]

I'm always happy to read your posts. So excited for you, and thank you so much Gin for sharing so much with us

Thanks, Erin! I'm just so happy people get something from all of my rambling. When I started all of this, I promised myself I would leave a document of how I felt along the way. I'm incredibly thankful for the community here at that reads my posts and finds them worthwhile.

Luv

Gin