Sadz.

[Guest Neuro]

Ahhhh today I think I lost my best friend.

But, I tried my best, with no feelings of wretchedness. She's the one pushing everyone away.

I'll never give up on her, but if she really thinks of my friendship to her as so pointless and little... I doubt she will speak to me again. But the door will always be open on my half, she can play the betrayed emo card all she wants--but SHE is the one shutting everyone out. She is alone because she does not want anyone close.

I doubt worst will come to worst (her mortality) but, I cannot do anything else. Too complicated. But during this, I have realized I have many other friends who DO think highly of me.

They have lended me their kindness and support, and basically a huge hugbox of kindness. It felt very sappy and undeserved, because I cannot help my dear friend. But it turns out people think better of me than I thought. Even a few friends who I thought I didn't even know very well, told me so many good things. It felt so unnecessary and selfish, but--if one friend thinks so little of me, that does not mean I have to give up.

Sadz as well as happyz. To gain something, sometimes you must lose something. I will not give up on anything. I will continue to draw comics! And become a host! And become a man!! And keep my resolution: to spread joy like butter!

Thank you Lauras Playground, without you angels I might have not had the strength to be so optimistic a mere year ago. By learning from all of your kindness, I have learned to handle things more constructively and realize my life has a point.

I only hope someday, my friend can realize these things as well about herself.

[Guest Robin Winter]

That's the right attitude!

Sorry that things are the way they are for your friend, but you're right, you've got to worry about you and the things you need and what makes you happy. It's up to her to discover the same, and all you can do is be there to support her when she's ready to accept that from you.

*Hugs*

[Guest Neuro]

Yupyup. I and 2 others informed her family of what she was planning to do to herself, because even if she hates us, we want her to live.

-hug-

Sometimes you have to help yourself first, though, is true! if you don't feed yourself, who will feed others when you die of starvation? Same goes for mental health and everything else. c:

[Guest Kitsunenene]

Hi Neuro.

Im sorry things turned out as they did(I knew a girl like her once as well) but perhaps its for the best. She may have inner demons now but you never know how people can change. All I can offer is my empathy and wish you the best of luck as your life moves forward.

Ariel

[Guest sarah f]

Sorry to hear that it came down to this with your friend but you can only do so much to help. If she doesn't want your help than there isn't much more you can do. Like you said, your door is open for her if she wants to talk. I think it is best for you to just stay around your positive friends right now and maybe she will come around later when she realizes how good of a friend you really are.

Love,

Sarah F

[Sally]

You have acted as a true friend, I am sorry if you have lost her as a friend but you do have others who seem to be much better friends anyway.

We tend to cling to friends that really do not want or appreciate us - I have no idea why but we are a bit like the big dog that walks into a room filled with thirty people - twenty-nine are reaching out to pet it and one is trying to stay away from it - where does the dog go - to the one that wants nothing to do with it because it wants one hundred percent acceptance - nothing less is good enough.

Letting her go but leaving the door open was the best thing for you - donot feel bad, you have been a true friend and she did not want your help.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

Honey...you are a good friend ad it shows by your caring actions. She may not see it that way at the time....but will somday..trust me..

She may or may not come around, but you've offered a loving hand.....

You're the best, Dear....

Thanks for trying...

LOVE

Donna Jean