Informed Consent System For Hormone Therapy

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

I just want to say, Congrats Jo on you about to start hormone therapy. If this is what you want than go for it. There is no right way or wrong way to go about it. I believe in going to a therapist first but if someone doesn't and knows all the risks than that is their decision.

Love,

Sarah F

Yeah, I've had a therapist for a year anyway, and he's kind of told me the same thing. He's only there to make sure I know what I'm getting myself into and I'm not some kind of crazy. Otherwise it's my life and entirely my decision.

I really can't comment on the SoC much. I'd have to see more solid statistics on regrets, depression rates, and suicides. But as it is with everything transgender, there's just not enough research. It's good for avoiding malpractice, though, and I don't blame doctors for that.

I can't imagine regretting HRT. I've wanted it ever since I knew it existed. It may sound strange, but the way my gender awareness evolved, I wanted HRT before I even wanted to transition!

[Guest ChalenAustin]

I knew a woman who transitioned a man and after 16 years of doing everything under the sun tried to kill herself mulitple times before beng able to accept that there was no going back.

If you could live with the regret and cope then it defies itself to not be able to live without medically altering yourself to begin with.

Some changes happen faster tha others- for ftm if you have the money and resources to get laser treatments/electric hair removal on more than just your face, maybe breast implants back in after chest reconstruction and a special little operation to remove your little package down there than be my guest.

But know that your descisions whether your body belongs to you are not- reflects us as a community to the whole and our creibility in every sense of the world. It's bigger than just you and suffering like that ill give you a real taste of what GID is all about if you think you've experienced it before.

Look at our lovely ladies on here who've waited so long.

Don't you think they met times when they were ready to jump off a cliff or take a long walk off a short peer but did they b/c they got really depressed once or twice?

No, they sucked it up and fully deserve to be the gourgous woman they truly are and they in every snese of the word earned it.

If you wnat it so bad- you want kill yourslef. If you do you let something take advantage of you and then you weren't ready to handle the changes transitioning brings anyways.

Men/woman transition all the time and still can't find themselves- you better have found yourself before even looking up that informed censent paper or you will catch it in the end.

Heck with therapy and doctors- the first step would be getting all your legal things changed first name-wise and seing what you can do for the ones that require surgery.

Who many of us )in general) would be here talking right now if that's the way it was?

It's not easy but the best things in life are earned not gained and if this really is you and matters than you could wait a lifetime or longer and you would put up with the system to do things right and not take everything so personal.

Your body and your descision? Than why bother to go with the system anyways- I'm sure there's a backyard dealer and surgeon somewhere's near you.

For those who are going to be patient and do this with a lick of snese you will abide by these set rules and but grateful looking back that you did.

Our older gals here are something special and everyone, myself included would be wise to take afew notes from them.

Just my humble opinion but I hope it encourages everyone to think.

If you didn't already want hrt and srs before you knew it even existed you- you need to think real hard on this one.

Chalen

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

Your analysis is very black and white.

you think it's impossible to find a middle ground between the current system and getting an operation from a mob doctor in the back of a bar?

And if you truely want to kill yourself then no you can't wait a lifetime. How some ofyou managed to live in denial for 50 years I don't know, Tho once you've actually come to realise who you are I think transition becomes much more urgently immediate.

And it works better the younger you are, why does no one here seem to care about this?

And we absolutely should not be required to change our legal status and our names as the very first thing. We have the fricking right to be able to exist in society with being bullied, humiliated, being unable to get a job and fearing for our lives. Unfortunately most people on this planet are ignorant, arrogant, little words i cannot say here, who hate anything different, so the only way to afford some semblence of a normal life is at least partial stealth.

[Guest Donna Jean]

How some of you managed to live in denial for 50 years I don't know, Tho once you've actually come to realize who you are I think transition becomes much more urgently immediate.

No, denial for 50 or more years is not easy and it can kill you..

Transition becomes a driving force...imparitive..we go absoutely insane racing for what we need...

We all wish that we had done this at 40-30-20........but it didn't happen that way...

So, we deal with what we can....

Donna Jean

[Guest ChalenAustin]

And if you truely want to kill yourself then no you can't wait a lifetime. How some ofyou managed to live in denial for 50 years I don't know, Tho once you've actually come to realise who you are I think transition becomes much more urgently immediate.

I work in suicide prevention b/c of my own battles with suicide and harm additions- I started when I was 6 I've been aware of my trans status since I was in diapers.

And it works better the younger you are, why does no one here seem to care about this?

The younger you are the more impulsive people tend to be. Look at some trnsmen and women? You can't always guess hen they started, I'll leave it at that. Changed my miind- the faster it works. For mtf it's a little different- before puberty it's more manipulation than anything since you're moving in reverse now. Ftm or the opposite.

And we absolutely should not be required to change our legal status and our names as the very first thing. We have the fricking right to be able to exist in society with being bullied, humiliated, being unable to get a job and fearing for our lives.

That sentense dosen't make sense unles you meant "without".

Happens anyways once you begin changing things over hrt/srs or not. My point was if the harder boring stuff came first you'd see people conviction dimminsh real fast- unless they need it.

Unfortunately most people on this planet are ignorant, arrogant, little words i cannot say here, who hate anything different, so the only way to afford some semblence of a normal life is at least partial stealth.

No comment except I think you've insulted anyone who dosen't agree with you but that could be just my interruptaion.

I think I've explained everything to clearif myself and I am done with this topic.

Kudoas to those who took what I said to heart.

love always,

Chalen

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Jo,

HRT is not something to undergo without serious thought and therapy. The wpath Standards Of Care have evolved because of the high degree of incidences of death and irreparable harm done by those who took matters into their own hands. Instead of transitioning like they wanted to, they harmed themselves, or worse.

HRT is far more complex than simply "taking" hormones. Not only are there practical matters such as monitoring one's blood chemistry for not only the effectiveness of the therapy, but also to watch for any anomalies that may indicate a problem. There are the emotional aspects of HRT that also should be monitored. Keep in mind that your body will be undergoing some profound changes. Regardless of one's desire and need to be on HRT, when the changes really become noticable, your emotional reaction is unpredictable. A therapist through this time would be most beneficial.

For those of us who are older, we have learned to cope via various mechanisms. Keep in mind that support for us (trans) did not exist then like it does today. We learned to keep it hidden (for survival sake). As we got older, our lives became more and more complex. Careers, raising a family, responsibilities all contributed to delaying our transitioning. So for those of you who are younger and cannot understand why we older ones did not transition when we were younger... those were different times then.

So, in conclusion, do not underestimate the impact of HRT will have on your life, and the importance of the wpath Standards Of Care.

Transitioning is not a hobbie, it is serious business.

Brenda

[Guest julia_d]

So how about the likes of me.. abused by a system which refuses to listen... 10 years from diagnosis.. 10 years on hormones.. 5 years after a botched up surgery date.. having wasted another 18 months of my life siting on waiting lists taking dangerous outmoded medication which my doctor refused to swap for an equivalent modern safe alternative without a get go from a shrink who has yet to meet me?

Informed consent.. in the UK that is lip service from a system which is about abuse and forced surgery.. by bad surgeons.. with no choice apart from "take it or leave it" .. They stand behind their SoC and their "ethics" and cause untold harm and abuses to people.. because they can.. and they get away with it because people are scared to speak out because to do so gets you kicked out of the program...

The system is based on exploitation and abuse and the end goal is all about sex after surgery.. nothing about helping somebody be a fully functional person who is happy and well integrated in their new role in society.. We have to do all that for ourselves with basically no help or guidance other than what we learn from our peers and from inside ourselves along the way..

So lets look again..

"Informed Consent" .. is it really the way it is portrayed when there is such an aspect of coercion and lack of choice? What choice is "surgery with who we say when we say" compared to "you get nothing if you step out of line once" .. Do you see and "standard of care" in that choice.. or is it just a forced program of "take it or leave it?"

I feel abused and bullied.. but I have no option.. none at all..

[Guest i is Sam :-)]

Kudoas to those who took what I said to heart.

I'm going to give in before I get myself banned.

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

Your body and your descision? Than why bother to go with the system anyways- I'm sure there's a backyard dealer and surgeon somewhere's near you.

...

If you didn't already want hrt and srs before you knew it even existed you- you need to think real hard on this one.

Chalen

I choose the system not because it's the legal way, but it's the safer way. It's not impossible for there to be safe and good "backyard dealers and surgeons", and it's not impossible for there to be crummy legal doctors either. But I think that everyone here can agree that there's WAY MORE risk going black market for these things.

How the heck could I want HRT before I knew it existed? All my life, I've been a serious person that put logic before emotions. I never considered becoming a girl because I didn't know it was an option! If someone told me, "Hey, little boy, you can be a girl if you really want to. Doctors can help you do it. You wouldn't be alone." then I probably would have considered it and realized it was the path for me far earlier. Looking back, it's definately something that was on my mind, but it was such a fantasy that I didn't dwell on it much.

I think people who say all transsexuals know from an early age is an over-simplification. For me, it started to be clear during puberty when I knew I'd rather be growing boobs than hair all over. But I never felt particularly wrong before that.

My guess is that if I were born a girl, I would have been a tomboy. So if, as a little boy, I was living the same life as if I was a little girl, how the heck would I know? Because something told me I should pee sitting down? Like that's a big enough clue. There were clues, but not enough until puberty.

That combined with the fact I've been moderately depressed my whole life and the thought of being a woman is the only thing that makes life sound worthwhile is what tells me this is the right decision in spite of the late onset.

If I were alone or had a remotely bad life, I'd probably be suicidal. But I have everything going for me. My family loves me. I have loads of friends (most of them know I'm a transsexual and support me 100%, even offer specific help). I don't have problems with schoolwork. If I killed myself, it'd be an extremely selfish act.

[Sakura]

the ones that drive 4-5 hours to see a GP are not in question thats were some of that "determination " i was talking about comes into play, no distance should be to far if your really hell bent on doing this.

RLE is not about seeing if you can get on being the opposite sex, it's about seeing if you can live with being a transsexual, plain and simple,"

really ? the deffinition of transition is " journey from one to another " going from male to female or vise versa. i have not met a single trans person coming fresh out of the gate that didnt have a thing or 100 to learn about being their chosen gender, its intended to show one the stark diference between dressing alone in your room at 3 am. and live breathing and exsperiancing the world as the gender you will be for the rest of your life. all conditioning you and leading you to when you finally get the big snip making sure its the finality you truley want before you reach it

i dislike the term stealth as it implies i am trying to be something i am not. but also you have to decide if you want to be a career transsexual or a woman. it cant be both ways .

I mean what exactly am I supposed to discover about womanhood that I suddenly think is so awful I'd rather go back to spending my life in misery"

dont know maybe you should ask one of the countless detransitioners that i have seen pass threw this site or met in real life. i'm sure they can fill you in on it more than i can. alls i know is in the year i did go to trans meetings about half to 3/4 of them detransitioned so it does happen often, regreat and realizing your in over your head that is. i will admit that in my first year i came close to being one of them but thats because i was going at this the wrong way, they are not details i will bore you with any way as im sure they will fall on deaf ears

as for being an elitest lol hardly, my opinions and views have been hammered out threw years of living the part of a woman and seeing the types of people who do and do not make it. learning from what the ones who did do it successfully and learning not to make the mistakes of the ones who do not, as for labeling some one something when you know nothing about them. you might want to watch cause that sings the same song as another lable that i wont mention

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

In nearly 6 months of living full time in my correct gender I have learned one thing, it is 85-90% attitude. You know what gender you are supposed to be, you have the right and now permission to be that gender. As long as you dont look like you are doing something ilegal then you should do ok. I've not been questioned once and I've only needed my carry letter to prove to my dentist why the insurance had to be billed in my male name and why I needed to be called by my female name.

[Sally]

OK, I have been reading through this and I am amazed that so many thinking and adult human beings actually believe that we are in control of anything in our lives.

From that first moment when the medical professionals pulled you from the comfort and safety of your mother's womb and struck you across the backside - a fitting welcome into the world - from that very first startled breath your life has been under someone else's control.

You cried when you wanted to eat but you were dependent on someone else to feed you and so it continues, you are told what to do and when by your parents and between them and school and everyone else that you ever meet you are told who you should be and how you should act then when you leave school you are starting to work where your boss tells you what to do and when, your doctors tell you what you need to take and what you do not need so where in the world did any of you get the idea that we have control over our own bodies?

Breast augmentation requires no approval because it is accepted by society - if you want informed consent you must first inform society and get their consent.

Freedom is a wonderful concept but it does not exist except in a vacuum and nature abhors a vacuum - therefore human nature actually abhors freedom for anyone but themselves.

The system is in place because those who are not trangendered and have no idea of the pain and suffering that it causes us are so sure and smug that most of us are just misguided that they are putting up barriers - just like the meaningless and unnecessarily hard 'weed out' classes in your freshman year of college in your major - we live in a world where what you exclude is so much more important than what you include - Laura's is the anomaly - we are about inclusion.

The Guardians are trying to protect all of us from ourselves because an amazingly small number of us have tried to transition and should not have but that number is so small that it pales by comparison to the number of suicides that anyone should be able to see that there are not a lot of pretenders out there.

Informed consent is a great concept but just think about your own indecision about when to come out and who to tell - who not to - a little guidance is a good idea - sorry!

But I wonder back in the fifties before it was so widely accepted by society how many people would have gotten tattoos if they had to go through counseling first - most of the military personnel who had gotten tattoos spent their whole lives trying to cover or remove them - society now accepts tattoos and just try to find a group of more than five people where at least one does not have a visible tat.

Until society accepts transsexuals and transitioning there will be no informed consent - deal with it, life is a series of compromises - one group gives and the others take - it is the takers that always have control.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

WAIT - think a minute!

This topic is all over the place!

So that is good and bad. BUT I see so many spin-off here! I would suggest some of you do that... start anew with some of these wonderful opinions!

And please understand the HRT pre-review is usually AFTER diagnosis - AFTER a recommendation letter from a therapist - usually!

HRT [and I am going into month 14] is a HUGE step! My progress has been exceptional (lucky) but I have had such a HUGE change in body and mind. And something else not always mentioned - ATTITUDE!

And after these changes - PERMANENT changes I am told! I am just NOT the same person I was a year ago - not at all. [Of course that is the purpose of HRT. The old me died - and I am now what I always felt I was.]

SO WARNING! Know the effects of HRT! It is the most drastic step , next to surgery, that you will take in your transition.

The 'risks' as stated by the medical profession? CYA in my humble opinion - real maybe - but like any other medical proceedure.

The jumping through hoops? TERRIBLE! But I suppose necessary. I mean - I will board an airplane to fly to the other side of the world relatively soon - just to have my heart's desire come true - THAT is dedication to my dream. CERTAINLY I can face a bit of scruitany [hrT review] by people who really don't understand ANYTHING about us - other than if we don't transition we tend to kill ourselves.

HEAVY THINKING

And worse - this topic is USA oriented! Most of us don't know about the plights of our sisters and brothers in other countries. I am learning how hard it can be!

Lizzy