Drunjk For The First Time In A Blue Moon, And I Can Understand Why People Do It

[Remus]

First up - if I offend anyone, I really don't mean to. Also apologies for dodgy spelling.

I am in no danger of being alcohol-dependent - I hate losing control, I live far enough out of town to have to drive everywhere, and I'm a generally inhibited person, especially around other people.

HOWEVER, this evening I got home from work and my parents and brother were out still, so I've had the house to myself for the last couple of hours. So I thought I'd have a little drinky, it being just me and my feline and canine babies...

And I can fully understand why some of us become alcohol-dependent (assuming it's for the same reasons as I'm about to expound). aAt the moment I've had...I don't know, half a mug of Cointreau (I think? Orang-flavoured atuff??) and (sorry, spelling, I know) half a mug of orange juice, but two of all that, so a mug of each, essentially, and while I've lost all decent sense of typing, and probably propriety, I have also lost the dysphoria. It's like being sober keeps me well in my own body and aware of all the floppy bits I shouldn't have and the absence of bits I should, whereas now it's like the alcohol's erased my sense of being trapped in a female body, and so I'm just a man as I should be,

Full stop. oops/

Ahem. I should probably also add that it's just past midnight (I work late), so it's not like I've started early or anythig. Anything. Whatever.

I also don't recommend getting drunk just to ease the pain. On a regular basis, it's not healthy or good (this is the first time I've had any alcohol in about a month).

It's just that I can understand why people do it.

Again, if I've offended, I really am very very sorry, and if moderators want to delete, fair enoujgh. I just wanted to share my (decidedlty inebriated opinions). I understand why we do it.

All the best, and please don't relapse or go back to it or anything because of this!!!

xox Remus

[Guest julia_d]

I think we all need to get out of ourselves once in a while, just so we can be us. It's when that state becomes the norm that things get messed up.

I know because I have been there.. I lost over a year to drink.. don't know what really happened during that time but I came out the other end a very changed person. Somewhere in the haze I must have made a decision which I have never regretted or looked back on and thought could have been a mistake. Then I transitioned fully and kicked the booze......

Now because of getting very upset in November I have to do the fight with the bottle all over again, but been there and got the shirt, so no worries eh?

[Guest ChalenAustin]

You're post is not offensive in the slightest at least I don't think so.

I look at it as an observation based on trying something and relating that point of view to how others may feel.

I've never gotten drunk or even so much as had a sip of anything but what you said is what I imagined partly and that's why I don't want to try anything- no matter how pretty the fruity colors seem!

Both my biological parents were serious abusers though so I guess it's all for the better I don't.

[Guest Kylani]

For an alcoholic, a lot of the time it's not by choice. I don't think anyone could understand it unless they were an actively drinking alcoholic or in recovery.

I have not had a drink in over 70 days. I know if I went a took one single sip of beer (I'm being completely honest), it would most likely kill me. I would need more and more and more and more, till eventually blacking out or going to sleep and not waking up... Or worse..... It wouldn't stop. Lucky for me, I know another relapse could be possible, however another recovery is impossible. That keeps me well away from the idea of taking that first drink that could lead to the end of my life

For anyone with the illness running in they're families I would say be extremely careful when using alcohol. Even more so if both of your biological parents suffer from the disease. There's a pretty good chance it could happen to them in that case.

About the alcohol give you a sense of your manhood back.. I've been in a couple of treatment centers to talk to residents who happened to be young guys like yourself, another one a girl. They all talked about how they used drinking to give them enough courage to help them feel like they're selves and be themselves around others without shame. I'm NOT at all recommending using alcohol for any reason of the matter, just saying that from what they said, I think I have an idea of what you mean.

Don't worrie hun, just look forward to your future and try and keep healthy. Your going to be glad you did when you reach the point of where you should be

Hope this wasn't too rambly!