Good Day And Questions! Yay!

[Guest Katrina_Carter]

Ok I had a really good day today. Well first of all I just want to share cause I am geeked about it even though I know no one else really cares, but I have officially lost 10 inches off my waist. February 17 2009 I started dieting and exercising (long story won't go into it). I have since run out of clothes that fit, size 40 mens was the smallest I had and needed to wear a belt. Thinking I was a 39 maybe 38 mens I went to the store and bought some 38s.... well they are still loose at 38 meaning I am closer to 36. Last year I was at 305 pounds and a 46 inch waist, 1 year later I am under 200 and a 36 (my scale broke thanks to two 5 year olds and a 6 year old who thought it was a trampoline so I don't know my exact weight hehe). Ok that was my me thing, now onto more and questions.

I got a doctor's appointment set up finally. I had to go to DHS and they gave me a list for help for low income. The doctor is only a 10 minute drive from my house and says he has experience in gender dysphoria (sp?). He set me up with an appointment on the 4th and sessions will only cost me 25 dollars a session. On the phone he said the first few weeks are to get to know me and such, and he asked how far along I was and if I wanted to get on HRT which I said yes and he said he could help me with it. I also have anxiety and depression issues sometimes so maybe other meds too which worries me a little cause I barely can afford the sessions, not sure how I will afford the meds.

So my questions are... What should I avoid saying? I have heard that foot in mouth syndrome has hurt people looking for help and to get on hormones. I don't want to say something I shouldn't, but since I want to get the help badly I don't want to hide anything either. What should I expect when going? I have never done this before and a little nervous, what goes on at these sessions usually? I have heard it takes a long time before they will put you on hormones so I know that he isn't going to write me a scrip on the first day, but what is the usual process for that? I'm not living publicly as my female me, but still trapped as something I'm not. Do I need to be living publicly as my real self before he would take me seriously?

So I've been a bit bouncy all day and scatter brained. I'm happy though, I am moving forward.

[Guest sarah f]

I first have to say WAY TO GO on losing that much weight so far. That really is an accomplishment. I am so proud of you.

As far as the therapist thing goes, I am no expert because I have only had one session so far. I can tell you that the first session if definatley just getting to know you and where you are coming from. Maybe some of the more experienced can help you with some of your questions.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest Donna Jean]

So my questions are... What should I avoid saying? I have heard that foot in mouth syndrome has hurt people looking for help and to get on hormones. I don't want to say something I shouldn't, but since I want to get the help badly I don't want to hide anything either. What should I expect when going? I have never done this before and a little nervous, what goes on at these sessions usually? I have heard it takes a long time before they will put you on hormones so I know that he isn't going to write me a scrip on the first day, but what is the usual process for that? I'm not living publicly as my female me, but still trapped as something I'm not. Do I need to be living publicly as my real self before he would take me seriously?

So I've been a bit bouncy all day and scatter brained. I'm happy though, I am moving forward.

First off, Honey..Congratulations on losing that weight! You'll feel better, look better, be healthier, and find more pretty clothes!

Good on you!

No need to be nervous about the therapist...tell them EXACTLY what your plans/feelings/wants are!

You say "doctor" do you mean therapist?

Well, A doctor can get you started, but even a little therapy is a good idea....

And no, you don't need to live as yourself pre-hormone...95% get the HRT before any RLT at all...

Let me know how its going....ok?

PM me if you need to!

LOVE

Donna Jean

[Guest viv]

Hi Katrina,

You have to be over the moon re your weight loss ,,,delighted for you hun.

About going to a therapist ,,,just say things the way they are . You will be fine , no

need to fret -and re dressing in public etc,,,all in your own good time hun . viv

[Paula ult]

Katrina Sweety,

I am proud of you for loosing all that weight.

Others have given you good advise on the therapist so i will just add about being able to afford the hormones, if you are prescribed Estradiol and Spironolactone, they are on the $4 list at Walmart, Target and many other places.

Paula

[Guest Elizabeth K]

GREAT START

I am so happy to hear about thsat weight loss! Just a point - about a month after starting HRT your chemistry changes enough so you become 100% female in having to eat and diet. It's more difficult for women to lose weight - so be careful not to put much back on. 1200 calories instead of the 2000 you are accustomed to.

And you asked What should I avoid saying? - HA! I asked that question too before my first sessin!

I have a post op friend who coached me back then - and her advice is still good - BE BRUTALLY HONEST. The therapist will pick up on rehersed or 'pat' answers - but they will also be looking for key things. You need to communicate! The sooner they feel you are doing that the faster you will progress.

DON"T say any of the following if it isnt true or if you disagree - here's what I explained to my therapist:

Early realization I was a girl (but not saying I was a girl in a boys body) about age 3 1/2 for me - usually its about age six - OR after puberty - seems to make a difference somehow - early onset I think they call it

Not being accepted by childen my age - neither the girls or the boys - knowing I was 'different!" Seems to indicate a true dysphoria of some sort - a feelling of being something 'other' than what I really was

That I DID forsee HRT - and I KNEW it had to be a situation where I am evaluated and monitored. Apparently most all t-people want hormones - the therapist expect that - but they want to make certain you have reasonable expectations of how you get to that point.

Same with SRS - I said it the fourth or fifth session - though!

Have a reasonably clear presentation of your life - and that you were sextremely unhappy - it appears transition is recommened as a means to counteract self-distructive tendancy and severe depression with your existance - all the playacting you had to go through - all the guilt.

I said I crossdressed - would always dress female whenever I had the chance - that I hid it out of shame - that I knew it was more than crossdressing. I think they look for some idea of the root causes for your wanting to present as you really are. I think virtually all MTF seemingly 'crossdress.'

Finally - I knew transitioning was an option and that it was for me a personal decision - and I knew it was not something that would solve "all my problems." They look for realistic expectations.

So she asked little hand grenade questions - to test me I realized later. Each therapist has their own method.

Mine was looking to see if I was truly gender dysphoric - if I really knew what was going on in my past life experiences, why I did what I did before coming to therapy.

Later (and this might or might not help - kinda personally oriented) she said I 'telegraphed' being transsexual. She said she knew after 15 minutes. She asked me how I managed to pass male all those years? Later she said I succeeded because of my intelligence. Then WAY later, she said if I hadn't had been so smart I wouldn't have been so miserable!

There you go? Dump it out on the table - let your therapist sort through it - see what he or she says! It helps to be chronological in your life history. It helps to be organized in your presentation - THAT AINT EASY when spilling you emotions wide out!

I did get my HRT permission in session two. She said I needed to get on them sooner than some people did. BUT she wouldn't give me my SRS permission for over a year. She is really a 'best friend' to me and I am sooooo indebted to her!

I hope this helps

Lizzy

[Guest Katrina_Carter]

Yeah sorry doctor = whatever, I am not sure if he is a therapist, a psychiatrist, a psychologist... When I called they told me they had several people on staff that had experience in different areas. If money was an issue they had an intern working on her master's that I could see for free, or if I could afford something they had others.

I will figure something out to get the meds if needed. I always find a way to survive.

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Katrina,

Congratulations on the weight loss. I went through a weight loss about a year ago (25+). Reduced intake, more exercise. It worked, but of course, in many societies, it's way too easy to put back on. All that great tasting food calling our names. Got to seriously work again on about 8 I gained back, so easy to come, so hard to go.

Hope it goes well with the therapist(s). Like the others said, just be yourself and answer the questions honestly. Not much more you can really do.

Hugs

Chloë

[Guest Justme]

Hi Katrina. No need to be nervous. Listen to what Elizabeth said. Be brutally honest. It will serve you well. It's ok to say you are depressed at times. It's only natural to be depressed when you can't live as your true self. Before your appointment, just take a deep breath...relax...and just be you. No routine answers needed. Just speak from your heart. And congrats on the weight loss!