Gender Rush?

[Guest yvonne]

Greetings girls, boys and all those in-between,

Lizzie just had a great post here:

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/in...showtopic=15593

The concept of gender change or rather correction or adaptation, as you prefer, reminds me of a brilliant Summer morning many years ago.

My wife, son and I were vacationing in the Rocky Mountains, in Estes Park, Colorado. Estes is a nice little tourist town that sits right at the base of Rocky Mountain National Park. At the top of the park is the Continental Divide and the "Never Summer Mountains", named by the Indians because it was always snow-covered. The water that melts off these mountains forms the Colorado River and carves the majestic Grand Canyon.

You can take a nice paved road all the way to the top and over the pass, with numerous stopping points to view the lovely valley below and the stream that flows the other direction, ending in the mighty Mississippi River.

It was a perfect late July day in the mountains and the rising sun was warm and gently caressed our faces. We'd heard about the "old road" to the top that was the first road over the pass. I must say that this is a serious mountain here and, if you'll excuse the expression, getting over it was no "walk in the park".

I really wanted to take the old road, a single lane, rock road that probably was the only way over these mountains for many miles. The trip would take all day.

As we left the pavement and got onto the rock road, the sheer difficulty of carving a road out of the granite mountainside was awe-inspiring. The road was steep and quite winding, with numerous switchbacks to keep the road going up. As we came around one turn, we stopped in amazement to see someone hand-feeding an ear of corn to a deer. We'd seen a lot of elk grazing in the valley as we started, but this was fascinating to see and had us scrambling to see what we had to eat that might interest a deer. Apparently, old french fries from under the seat aren't just a hot item for a deer...

We seemed all alone on this road, except for occasional cars would would come rocketing up behind us and follow right on our bumper, impatiently wanting to get by. You can't just pull over, there isn't room. You have to wait until you get to a switchback. These people were clearly extremely agitated at my very slow speed. I'm looking at interesting rocks, vegetation, road construction techniques, incredibly majestic scenery, insects, wild flowers and smelling the lush pine forest. I'm having the time of my life, but I'm also irritating the daylights out of someone behind me. Some even honked at me, I never changed pace. As we'd come to a wide spot in the road, I'd get as far over as I could and watch as they'd gun the engine and speed past me, tossing rocks at me with their back wheels in disdain.

I did have to speed up for a few extremely aggressive drivers and it was a shame. It was a shame that people like this, who were in a big hurry, didn't just take the paved road. What on earth is such a big deal about getting to the end of a scenic road?

This reminds me of Chevy Chase in the movie "National Lampoon's Vacation", seeing the Grand Canyon in 15 seconds.

My point is simple: This journey that we undertake first begins with our own acceptance of who we really are, our true gender identity. We must accept ourselves and admit it to ourselves. Many of us have lived in denial for decades or longer, so this step alone is huge.

For myself, born with a male body and a female mind, having to act and dress like a male has been stressful. To be trained to think and express male emotions was even harder.

Now, I've started up that old winding, scenic road and I intend to enjoy every little nuance of it's beauty and I'm in no hurry to "get to the end", because there is no end. That's right. Sorry to say, but there is no end to this until we die and are buried and gone.

The more I learn as I go, the better equipped I'll be to deal with what lies around the next corner. Believe me, there will be plenty of obstacles. There will be plenty of joy in smelling the smells and seeing the flowers and plenty of pain with dealing with the hazards and unpleasant occurrences.

For me, right now, I'm overjoyed that I can express myself as me, to accept myself as me and to finally be free of any guilt, conflict or mental torment. It's like all my troubles are over, the tornado has passed, the sun is shining and my house is still standing. Good Lord, I feel good.

Rome wasn't built in a day and natal people didn't learn how to mature in a year, either.

Have some patience and quit thinking things are like they are on TV: everything solved in an hour so the next program can come on....

Enjoy the trip, you may not get another one.

Hugs to all of you special sisters, brothers and all those in between,

Laura's is a very special place,

Love,

Yvonne

[Guest Donna Jean]

Real nice, Sweetheart...REAL good!

Yes....it's the journey...not the destination..

I will never be fully transitioned. There is always something more to do....

It was like working on my '57 Chevy...it was never finished...always something else to bolt on or tweak!

I'm enjoying the journey...every part of it!

And if you think I am going too slowly.....go around!.....LOL

Thanks, Honey....good stuff!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest Chandra]

Dearest Yvonne,

I love your analogy, comparing a carefree mountain drive and our drive to unite our mind and body.

I think I kind of see your point, which I interpret as this.

Lets say I was born a biological male, but felt my mind was female and I wanted to transcend.

The very best I could do would still fall short of being a true female. No matter how hard I tried or money spent I could never

ever get there. It is imposable so why hurry and sweat every little detail when we can'nt be 100% successful.

As long as we did the best we could we should be happy for where we are at, and take the time to live for the moment, smell the flowers and be happy where we are at.

Sex change is an illusion, it is just a state of mind. There is no completion so why should there be a hurry.

Your Friend Forever, Love Chandra

[Carolyn Marie]

Have some patience and quit thinking things are like they are on TV: everything solved in an hour so the next program can come on....

Laura's is a very special place,

Love,

Yvonne

What, life is NOT like an episode of 24? Oh, no!!

That is a wonderful post, Yvonne. Everything you said rings true. You are a wise and wonderful woman, and you're going to do well.

This is one journey that I won't mind taking on the slow country road, bumping along with my fellow stage coach passengers. Because I love the

company, and I'm in no hurry to part ways. While we're on it, I'm going to enjoy the scenery and savor the companionship. Wouldn't want it any other way.

And yes, Laura;s is a very special place indeed. Where else can one find lasting friendships, love, and cookies on the Internet?

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest yvonne]

Dearest Yvonne,

I love your analogy, comparing a carefree mountain drive and our drive to unite our mind and body.

I think I kind of see your point, which I interpret as this.

Lets say I was born a biological male, but felt my mind was female and I wanted to transcend.

The very best I could do would still fall short of being a true female. No matter how hard I tried or money spent I could never

ever get there. It is imposable so why hurry and sweat every little detail when we can'nt be 100% successful.

As long as we did the best we could we should be happy for where we are at, and take the time to live for the moment, smell the flowers and be happy where we are at.

Sex change is an illusion, it is just a state of mind. There is no completion so why should there be a hurry.

Your Friend Forever, Love Chandra

Dearest Chandra,

That is certainly a very good way to look at my thoughts and I can understand how you arrived at that.

Let's also consider another angle, that of life itself. I've heard far too many people say they'll "be successful" when _______ occurs. Insert in the blank--they reach a certain career goal, have a certain house built, achieve a certain income, have so much money in the bank or have their body changed. Body changes may be gender-related or not (like a nose job, tummy tuck, lipo or new boobs).

The simple fact is that these are all EXTERNAL things, material things, if you will. They're not what make us happy. THINGS don't make us happy. Our own development, maturity and inner thoughts make us happy.

It's extremely depressing to learn about how people who've won the big lottery prizes are affected by winning. For most, it's the most devastating thing that has ever happened to them. How can winning "more money than you can spend" be harmful? It proves for sure that money doesn't buy happiness and neither will changing your gender if you can't change your thought process and learn how to manage it.

The definition of success to me is "The progressive realization of a worthy objective". We get satisfaction from the trip, not the destination. The trip itself makes us whole.

I firmly believe that there is no one single thing that we can do, achieve or receive that makes our life whole, satisfying and complete. You see, humans are the only animal that's never really satisfied. No matter what we do or have, we always want more. No matter what we have or can do, there's always someone, somewhere who has more or can do it better.

I feel sorry for people I read about here who put their body through dramatic changes, only to say they still see their old selves when they look in the mirror.

The very first lesson of this gender dysphoria thing is that we have to learn to love WHO WE ARE. We have to learn that we're OK. We have to learn that there's no shame in how we feel. These are lessons to be learned on the slow road and simply getting our bodies to look a certain way in a great big hurry won't bring about those changes.

The road is the road of life, the things we enjoy along the way are life itself. We can do a lot of things that bring us joy and fulfillment as we journey, but if we're overly fixed on "getting to the top" and achieving a certain thing to make us whole, we'll be disappointed when we "arrive".

I had friends growing up who were enormously wealthy and I do mean enormous. To their credit, their parents did a great job of raising them, as they were no different than most other kids. They taught me that being who you are is more important than what you have.

Every Summer, they'd move to their summer home on an island in the Great Lakes (yes, with a Yacht) and several summers asked me to be the live-in caretaker for their home. This was a huge mansion in the "old money" part of town. This was in my teen years and the GID was killing me, but I couldn't do anything about it.

I learned over the Summers that it didn't matter a bit to my inner satisfaction where I lived. That living in a huge mansion (yes, with an elevator and a library) brought me no more true satisfaction than living in my parent's home (not a huge mansion).

Far too many in the TG/TS community focus only on changing or modifying genders and not on the whole lessons of life. Young people forego education and career preparation for gender changing. So, great, now they're a "new" gender with no life skills. They've set themselves up to be potential outcasts of society, who struggle to get a low-paying job. Well, they're at the top of the road now, how's the view?

You've got to put life in perspective and smell the roses along the way. Want to see some interesting flowers? Try these:

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSs...Ssuccesses.html

Take your new appearance and do something with it. It's not enough to just become a pretty girl (or handsome man). You must constantly reach for more and continue your own personal development.

Wow, I took off again

I love you my dearest friend,

Yvonne

[Sally]

Dear Yvonne,

What a wonderful analogy - I too have traversed the Fall Creek Pass instead of the paved Trail Ridge Road - the destination is the same but the journey is so different - Like us verses cis gendered - we are going to the same place but we are taking different paths and ours is the road less traveled.

I am probably among the slowest transitioners of all time - I seem to have infinite patience, it took 57 years to get me to even admit that I was a transsexual then almost two years before I started HRT and I am not out to but a handful of people (probably influenced by my utter failures in maintaining the relationships with the ones that I have told) and with my current financial state SRS seems like only a pipe dream but I can always dream and continue along that path and maybe one day before I shuck this mortal coil it will be wrapped the right way.

So I seem to be on that slow scenic trail to a destination that seems beyond my reach so I had better go slow and savor every second of the journey because the journey itself may be all that I ever have.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest sarah f]

Love the analogy Yvonne. I always thought of it as climaxing at the time when you have SRS. Now I see that it does continue on for the rest of your life. You will never completly be a woman but what you do and how you act truly define who you really are.

Love,

Sarah F