Crying It Out

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I have been on HRT 14 months in a few weeks - and I consider myself pretty much female now - chemically for sure. I have endured all the emotional rebirth that I expect to come my way - at least in those big helpings they seemed to want to be. And I was surprised to discover that as a newly minted woman I would simply cry it out rather than get so fricking angry anymore - when something really hurt me - emotionally, I mean!

But it isn't working as well as it once did!

Are my defences getting better, or are my problems getting worse?

Of course you can't answer - You don't know what my problems are.

BUT

There appears to be a limit to what we mewly minted emotional females can work through easily by sobbing through it!

So I suppose this is a warning - and your therapist will verify this! Changing genders does NOT change how you must react to your problems by confronting them - this only only adds a different dimention or two.

I don't know what to do sometimes. I get lost. I get depressed.

In the old days I would just get mad and break things!

Do they have pink puching bags?

Lizzy

And you FTM? I suspect you still need to cry - now its in private.

We transsexual are such melancholy creatures!

[Guest nymphblossom]

Elizabeth,

I think the pedulum simply has to swing the other way to come closer to center.

Blossom

[Guest Donna Jean]

Lizzy..........

I'm in my 12th month HRT........

And even though I cry at most anything, I've found that I am still able to snap out if the situation makes me angry enough....

The warm up to that is much longer now, but it's not all sugar and spice....

Anger still occurs...

LOVE

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

In my brief time since finding myself, I have found it much easier to cry over things. I do a lot in therapy,

but once in a while, silently, at my work desk or at home.

So it certainly isn't the hormones doing it, not near enough time for that to have happened. Its just me

allowing Carolyn her time to express herself, good or bad.

Does it bother me, this new found emotionalism? Not at all. For me it relieves stress, lets my anger (and

I still have that) flow out of me rather than having it bottled up.

Will it get worse as the hormones do their thing? Don't know. What comes will come and I'm ready to embrace it.

Becoming female (or male, as the case may be) is a complicated, messy business. The weak of spirit and

determination need not apply.

Carolyn Marie

[Sally]

Lizzy,

You are a big girl now and should come to the realization that 'crying things out' just can't work, much like drinking and drug usage when you come down - the problem still remains.

It was the same way with anger but the tremendous and spontaneous release of tension through yelling and hitting has become an option left behind so now it is time to actually address the problems - identify them and eliminate them.

So if the problem is me - well then I have really loved knowing you and I will miss you! - I do not think that we have a problem so I am not saying goodbye that was an example, sometimes it is necessary to cut your losses but usually you can work something out if you actually face it and work out a solution.

You know a half dozen ways to get in touch with me if you think that I can help.

I will always be here for you - big Sis, you have done so much for me, give me a chance to pay you back.

And of course you know that our middle sister will help us both!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest nymphblossom]

Carolyn Marie wrote:

It certainly isn't the hormones doing it, not near enough time for that to have happened.

I have often heard this said and wonder if it is true. I understand it will take the same time as an adolesent's puberty for our bodies to undergo the full effects of HRT. But our glands pump us full of hormones for immediate response to anger, fear and injury. Why wouldn't artificially adding sex hormones have the same immediate changes to our brain?

I think we all have a tendancy to think our brains are somehow different from the other organs, that somehow our mind controls our brain and not the other way around. But we take chemicals for conditions like depression and ADHD, and we accept that drugs like LSD have significant immediate affects on our brains. I'm not sure why we don't think the same is true for HRT.

Blossom

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well, Honey....

My flood gates opened way before starting HRT! So they were not a factor in my sobbing at first....

I had not cried in decades as a guy (excepyt when my dog died, give me a break....)

But the minute that I realized and accepted the fact of who I was and what I must do "BAM!" water works...

Now, I asked my therapist about that and he told me that I always had the capicity for it, it was just repressed...

And, of course on HRT, the correct fuel is feeding my brain making it all the more easier...

And while the hormones (HRT) don't affect any other part of us immediately (breast, fat, skin, etc...) I don't feel that they work right away on our brain either...just psycologically right away...we do get euphoric after taking that first dose and that is strictly an effect of our own minds.

Like taking many anti-depressents...they only start to work after a period of time (days..)and not within the hour of taking them...

Anyway....that's how it's been with me......

Huggs!

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Sally wrote?

So if the problem is me - well then I have really loved knowing you and I will miss you!

I don't understand???

Lizzy

[Guest Ivan Le Renard]

I'm not on HRT yet, but I often wonder how it will change how I react to certain things.

I don't usually cry out of sadness, but out of frustration. When I get really sad, I'll just get really quiet. xD

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Lizzy Dear

How one confronts problems does not really change. What you have experienced is a learned behavior to stress, not a natural one. You have let go of your learned response, and have embraced your natural response. What embracing transgendered really means is that you become yourself and dispense with the facade of sterotypical expected behavior.

You now can cry. Not necessarily because your are a woman no, because you are yourself now You just happen to be a woman.

You are breaking through the gender boundaries.

You are finally... you

All my Love

Brenda

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

Me I've always been a crier, I mean for my whole life any problem whatever it is I break down and bawl. My family gave me so much bull over this it's unreal. But now I know why, I'm just a sissy girl.

Love

Charlene Leona

[Guest Neuro]

I've never really cried... if it was for a movie, it's no biggie. If it's serious, I hide in my bedroom. I hate the look on my face and sound of my voice crying, I do not tolerate it and shove it into a pillow. Because when I cry and whine about my mommy thinking 'it's a phase,' that's pretty lame... I could be being beaten, and I cry over this? Stupid.

I only cry maybe 6 times a year, tops. Because of hating on myself, or because my best friend's suicide attempt.

It just seems embarrassing and makes people around you feel awkward. IDK if this is male or female, it is just my warped look on it =_=;;

[Sally]

Lizzy,

I was using that as an example - we have no problem but even as close as we are if that problem that has you so upset was with me it would be better to let go of me than to put yourself through endless torture - I have no problems with you and I sincerely hope that you have none with me but I felt that this topic was brought on by something gone horribly wrong, I think that I have a bit of an insight to the true nature of the trouble after we got in contact for a moment last night.

You cannot imagine how upsetting it was to see all of the things that went on yesterday while my computer played all of its evil games and kept me away from the ones I love and need - a very dear friend helped me to get things back straight again (thanks Jean, my late night companion on the forums) so I am back on the forums - my name had turned to black but it is red again and I am here to help you any way that I can.

Said that we would talk today - I am here for you as always.

Love ya,

Sally