Greetings To All

[Guest MarciPA]

Hello folks. After years of following up on posts to Laura's I figured I would come out of the shadows a bit. I first want to mention that I have read the forum rules and have read the moderator's first posts to new folks so I kinda get the gist. I have a therapist and am on my second round or hormones. I had to cut it off 2 years ago for personal reasons.

My story is simple really. I have known from a young age that I am a woman trapped inside the body of a man. I have never socialized well due to my highschool years and things that happened. Noone in my life knows that I am seeing a therapist for this. My situation is different than most as I intend to continue present as Male even though I am on the hormones. My therapist isn't thrilled about this but given that I have been depressed my entire life with the exception of my time spent on hormones. I don't know what it is really, but I am content. After I quit my first round I fell immediately back into the depression that I had had all my life. My depression gave me horrible suicidal thoughts, but I never even considered acting on it. I either lacked the courage or had enough strength to persevere.

I have always dated females, but have never asked one out. I have never dated a male, but have been intimate. I find interest in both males and females. Bottom line I suppose that makes me Bi. That much figured out. I also know that I am transgendered as I know I am female even if I don't look it. I have no desire to wear womans clothing though, not that I am against it. I think this is the reason I felt I needed help. I know that there are many transgendereds who are hostile toward someone who goes through hormones but never goes all the way. Fact of the matter is that I have thought long and hard and would love to go through SRS, but it isn't feasable for my situation.

Most would say that I have lived a very good life to this point. Loving family, a group of great friends, and a great job. The problem is that for my entire 38 years I have internalized all the pain of who I am. Noone but my therapist and now you all know even remotely what I have gone through as we all have our own stories. I know this has been long and this is simply an introduction. I guess the gist of what I'm getting at is to stay within the forum rules, where is it best that I post? I am not one to give out labels and such, I view everyone equally. Transgendered, Transsexual, M2F, etc; in my mind they are all just people who have been given labels by society. I just want to know where I would comfortably fit in within this community so as to chat without offending someone with a differing viewpoint. Thanks in advance and I hope nothing in my first post offended or was out of line.

Marcie

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hello, Marci.....

Well, you know the welcome we generally do so we'll just skip all of that (unless you care for a cup of coco and a handful of cookies)

Now, I don't see why anyone would have any problem at all with your post...

And you must know that we advocate that one should get to the point on the gender spectrum where one is comfortable... ...no more....no less.

And no one can tell you that but you!

Come on in and talk, we're a nice bunch...

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest praisedbeherhooves]

Hello folks. After years of following up on posts to Laura's I figured I would come out of the shadows a bit. I first want to mention that I have read the forum rules and have read the moderator's first posts to new folks so I kinda get the gist. I have a therapist and am on my second round or hormones. I had to cut it off 2 years ago for personal reasons.

My story is simple really. I have known from a young age that I am a woman trapped inside the body of a man. I have never socialized well due to my highschool years and things that happened. Noone in my life knows that I am seeing a therapist for this. My situation is different than most as I intend to continue present as Male even though I am on the hormones. My therapist isn't thrilled about this but given that I have been depressed my entire life with the exception of my time spent on hormones. I don't know what it is really, but I am content. After I quit my first round I fell immediately back into the depression that I had had all my life. My depression gave me horrible suicidal thoughts, but I never even considered acting on it. I either lacked the courage or had enough strength to persevere.

I have always dated females, but have never asked one out. I have never dated a male, but have been intimate. I find interest in both males and females. Bottom line I suppose that makes me Bi. That much figured out. I also know that I am transgendered as I know I am female even if I don't look it. I have no desire to wear womans clothing though, not that I am against it. I think this is the reason I felt I needed help. I know that there are many transgendereds who are hostile toward someone who goes through hormones but never goes all the way. Fact of the matter is that I have thought long and hard and would love to go through SRS, but it isn't feasable for my situation.

Most would say that I have lived a very good life to this point. Loving family, a group of great friends, and a great job. The problem is that for my entire 38 years I have internalized all the pain of who I am. Noone but my therapist and now you all know even remotely what I have gone through as we all have our own stories. I know this has been long and this is simply an introduction. I guess the gist of what I'm getting at is to stay within the forum rules, where is it best that I post? I am not one to give out labels and such, I view everyone equally. Transgendered, Transsexual, M2F, etc; in my mind they are all just people who have been given labels by society. I just want to know where I would comfortably fit in within this community so as to chat without offending someone with a differing viewpoint. Thanks in advance and I hope nothing in my first post offended or was out of line.

Marcie

Nothing in your first post was offensive, at least not to me. You will not find anyone hostile to your gender expression here. Here people understand that some people don't fully transition. It's okay, people are different. This is probably one of the most supportive, open-minded and close sites on the Internet as I think you have found out. I hope you enjoy being here.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Welcome Marci,

Welcome my love to Laura's. Now sweetie you can post to any forum that you feel that you can contribute. The only restriction is that you cannot create a topic on the teens forum. The teens forum is for the kids

You and I have much in common. So just relax and be yourself and post to the forums dearheart

And, of course, all posts must remain within the guidelines of the Terms and Conditions here. I know you already understand that.

I can tell you this Marci, for me, joining Laura's was the best thing I have ever done in my life.

Keep posting here dear. Your discovery is just beginning.

Welcome!!!

Love

Brenda

[Guest Chandra]

Dear Marcie,

Relax you have offended no one and are not out of line at all.

Welcome sweetheart we are all your friends and care about you. I can tell you are very sensitive and polite, you will fit in your new family just fine. I think you will find your place here and benefit from many like you.

I to get hit with staggering bouts of depression that seems to make living not worth it. But the sincere caring love coming from ones with stories like your own will help you to feel better and not alone. Laura's will most likely change your life for the better

I hope you will find what you are looking for.

Love, Chandra

[Carolyn Marie]

Marci, its good to have you with us in the Playground. This is a great place for you to be. We don't need to put any labels on you, and you don't need to put

one on yourself. You are just you, and where you fall on the gender spectrum is important only to you.

I hope you find comfort and friendship here, and perhaps some of the answers you are looking for.

After you have posted five times all of the member benefits will be available to you, including using the private message system.

I wish you well, and look forward to reading your posts.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest casper]

Hi marcie,

<< hug >>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Guest sarah f]

Welcome to Laura's Marcie. I will say at least you know what you want and that is all that matters. You will find out that we don't judge anyone on how far they want to go or what their preferences are. Keep on posting and you will soon realize that we are all here for one another.

Love,

Sarah F

[Sally]

Hi Marci,

Well I am a little late greeting you but I see that Donna Jean has gotten you the cocoa and cookies and you have already met some of the sweetest ladies on the site.

Brenda told you that joining Laura's was the best thing that she had ever done and I would have to say the same goes for me, I have gotten a whole new attitude about myself and come out of my shell and am losing my fear of really connecting with other thanks to the help of some of the best people you will ever meet.

Welcome to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Shane_82]

Welcome

~ Shane

[Guest MarciPA]

Thank you all very much for your kind greetings. I find it extremely difficult to talk about my self....which is why I really hate therapy, but alas its necessary. I'll get around to posting some more as time allows. Thanks again folks and see you around the playground.

[Guest Janis]

Hello Marci,

welcome from a PA neighbor.

Janis