Is It Bad That I'm...

[Guest KageBoy171]

I've been reading this webcomic called KhaosKomix.

The whole thing is about a group of friends in college in England, I believe.

The first chapter is about a guy named Steve who likes Mark.

The next is about Mark who likes Steve.

After that is about a girl named Amber who ends up liking a girl named Nay.

Then it's about Nay who likes Amber.

After that it is about an FTM named Tom who likes a boy named Alex.

Then it's about how Alex likes Tom.

Each chapter is merely in the point of view of the other person in a couple that both like each other.

Alex doesn't know that Tom is an FTM.

At this point, the two had been dating but Tom felt the need to break up with Alex because he didn't think it was fair that Alex didn't know the truth.

Now, he has just come out, and I am left waiting for Alex's reaction.

Is it weird that I'm hoping they'll stay together because it gives me hope in the real world?

I just got my hair cut and I feel more like a man, more like myself than I have in a very long time. I look good, I feel good but I'm still upset. One of my friends doesn't really like my hair because it's a bit short, but she understands that I feel great with it, so she likes it because of that. My sister absolutely adores it. MY guy friends doesn't like it. : /

"I don't like it." He says.

"Good thing I didn't get it cut for you, right?" I said.

"Well, maybe you should have...It's really short...a little butch, isn't it?" He replied.

I don't care what he says, but to be real, guys don't like "girls" with short hair, whether I portray myself as a girl or not.

On facebook I was tagged in a photo as "the closet lesbian". I love lesbians, they're cool, but I'm just not one. I'm possibly bisexual, but right now, I want a guy. I only have girls that are friends, really, and I grew up in a house of girls. I'm in the ESTROGEN OCEAN! I want out! So, I want a boyfriend right now, not a girlfriend and I'm just not a lesbian.

It just frustrates me that I have to wait for a mature, open-minded guy to come along, which means I have to be out of high school and on my way into adulthood. I graduate in June, so I don't have to wait too long, but I feel like I'm missing out, you know? Then again, I talk about wanting a boyfriend, but then I'm terrified of having to tell him that I'm not a girl and that I want to be his boyfriend instead. I hate those arguments.

I would talk to my friend about this but I've stopped going to her about this because she thinks I should just let it go and be more feminine already. : / She doesn't even think I look like a guy, either, which I've never understood. I think I look very androgynous, leaning towards a guy.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so...ugh...lonely, I guess. I feel like people are whispering about me all the time and I try not to worry about it, but it gets to me sometimes.

[Remus]

I understand absolutely what you mean about everything you said.

I've been reading this webcomic called KhaosKomix.

The whole thing is about a group of friends in college in England, I believe.

The first chapter is about a guy named Steve who likes Mark.

The next is about Mark who likes Steve.

After that is about a girl named Amber who ends up liking a girl named Nay.

Then it's about Nay who likes Amber.

After that it is about an FTM named Tom who likes a boy named Alex.

Then it's about how Alex likes Tom.

Each chapter is merely in the point of view of the other person in a couple that both like each other.

Alex doesn't know that Tom is an FTM.

At this point, the two had been dating but Tom felt the need to break up with Alex because he didn't think it was fair that Alex didn't know the truth.

Now, he has just come out, and I am left waiting for Alex's reaction.

Is it weird that I'm hoping they'll stay together because it gives me hope in the real world?

I do that, though it tends to be through yaoi (*ahem* ). I don't think it's weird, I think it's perfectly normal. There's so little validation for us out there that anything like this that shows acceptance of us as just being who we are is like a life-line. I'm sure that if FtMs were more common in the public psyche we wouldn't find ourselves resorting to living vicariously through comics/yaoi/whatever because we'd already know the acceptance and love were there. Certainly not resorting to it *as much*, anyway. But no, I don't think it's weird at all.

I just got my hair cut and I feel more like a man, more like myself than I have in a very long time. I look good, I feel good but I'm still upset. One of my friends doesn't really like my hair because it's a bit short, but she understands that I feel great with it, so she likes it because of that. My sister absolutely adores it. MY guy friends doesn't like it. : /

"I don't like it." He says.

"Good thing I didn't get it cut for you, right?" I said.

"Well, maybe you should have...It's really short...a little butch, isn't it?" He replied.

I keep doing that, every few months or so I'll get it cut (or, to be more accurate, cut it myself. It tends to be one of the ways I feel better when I've had a particularly dysphoric day, as it feels like I'm taking a step forwards or something). And yes, my Mum doesn't really like it (before I came out my hair went down to my bum), my dancing teacher hates it ("Ah! You keep cutting your hair! I don't like it, it's never going to go up in a bun!!!") and my Dad looks at me sadly/worriedly every time I do it, like I've got terminal cancer or something. I get odd comments from people who haven't seen me in a while ("Oh. You've cut your hair short. Why?", "What happened to all your beautiful long hair???", "Did you cut your hair again? It looks...good"), and know that, even if they're not talking about me, people are churning it over in their heads, you can see their minds working when they're talking to you and look the whole time at the space above your eyes.

I don't care what he says, but to be real, guys don't like "girls" with short hair, whether I portray myself as a girl or not.

On facebook I was tagged in a photo as "the closet lesbian". I love lesbians, they're cool, but I'm just not one. I'm possibly bisexual, but right now, I want a guy. I only have girls that are friends, really, and I grew up in a house of girls. I'm in the ESTROGEN OCEAN! I want out! So, I want a boyfriend right now, not a girlfriend and I'm just not a lesbian.

It just frustrates me that I have to wait for a mature, open-minded guy to come along, which means I have to be out of high school and on my way into adulthood. I graduate in June, so I don't have to wait too long, but I feel like I'm missing out, you know? Then again, I talk about wanting a boyfriend, but then I'm terrified of having to tell him that I'm not a girl and that I want to be his boyfriend instead. I hate those arguments.

I would talk to my friend about this but I've stopped going to her about this because she thinks I should just let it go and be more feminine already. : / She doesn't even think I look like a guy, either, which I've never understood. I think I look very androgynous, leaning towards a guy.

I'm gay, but the thought of being with a guy as I am, untransitioned and all, is positively sickening. Or negatively sickening... But yes, I'm sick of watching my guy friends hooking up with other guys and talking about their more...*intimate* moments together, and knowing I *should* be able to do that too, and indeed, should be doing that, but not being able to because I look like a girl. It's not that I want a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend, but I would like to at least have the possibility of having one, and not have to sit back and wait until some wondrous indeterminate time in the future when I'll be able to be myself. Even if a boyfriend were accepting of me as a physical woman but treated me as a boyfriend, as a man, I would constantly be aware of my woman's body and female appearance (and other *bits* ) and just feel sick. As I said, even the thought of it makes me feel icky.

As for your appearance, if that's you in your avatar, I would say you look androgynous. Your friend has (I'm assuming) known you for longer as a girl than as a boy, and so will probably continue to see you in that light. But I think you look nicely androgynous.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so...ugh...lonely, I guess. I feel like people are whispering about me all the time and I try not to worry about it, but it gets to me sometimes.

I have trouble with dealing with how people react, and how I think they'll react and what they may (or may not) be saying. I posted a thread yesterday called "The Art Of Living Selfishly" about that, and the replies people have given thus far have been very poisitive and helpful, so I personally can't give any advice, but have a look there, it might help you too.

All the best, hun. As I said, I know exactly what you mean about it all. Just hang in there, keep fighting, and things should hopefully get better. That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

Take care of yourself,

xox Remus

[Guest KageBoy171]

I understand absolutely what you mean about everything you said.

I do that, though it tends to be through yaoi (*ahem* ). I don't think it's weird, I think it's perfectly normal. There's so little validation for us out there that anything like this that shows acceptance of us as just being who we are is like a life-line. I'm sure that if FtMs were more common in the public psyche we wouldn't find ourselves resorting to living vicariously through comics/yaoi/whatever because we'd already know the acceptance and love were there. Certainly not resorting to it *as much*, anyway. But no, I don't think it's weird at all.

I love yaoi, actually, haha! I do the same. I've been following someone on an art website called dA and they have the best I've seen. I think it's fan art, though. I can't find any really good yaoi, though, besides Junjou Romantica but then the story got a bit old because it was the same thing over and over again. *shrug*

I'm gay, but the thought of being with a guy as I am, untransitioned and all, is positively sickening. Or negatively sickening... But yes, I'm sick of watching my guy friends hooking up with other guys and talking about their more...*intimate* moments together, and knowing I *should* be able to do that too, and indeed, should be doing that, but not being able to because I look like a girl. It's not that I want a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend, but I would like to at least have the possibility of having one, and not have to sit back and wait until some wondrous indeterminate time in the future when I'll be able to be myself. Even if a boyfriend were accepting of me as a physical woman but treated me as a boyfriend, as a man, I would constantly be aware of my woman's body and female appearance (and other *bits* ) and just feel sick. As I said, even the thought of it makes me feel icky.

omg!! Exactly!!! You wrote that just how I feel. That was a bit freaky, haha. It's so true, though! Whenever I think of myself with another man, I am a man as well with all the *bits* (as you say it, haha) that I want and should have. I could never think of myself with another man in that way as a woman. It sickens me. I would love to transition, but I just don't like my options, at least not between the legs, you know? I don't want a boyfriend just to have one, either. I want to care for someone and share the experience and everything. I have a lot to give, but I'm just not attracted to any of the guys at my school or in this city, really. I'm not picky, either, I'm just not gonna settle.

As for your appearance, if that's you in your avatar, I would say you look androgynous. Your friend has (I'm assuming) known you for longer as a girl than as a boy, and so will probably continue to see you in that light. But I think you look nicely androgynous.

That is me in my avatar, actually. I need to change that picture because I cut my hair really short with longish bangs. I stole the haircut from the male lead singer of Framing Hanley. XD Thank you.

Thank you, again.

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that does/feels this way.

[Guest hayden_jude]

Oh, man. I am in the middle of an estrogen ocean too. Or at least I was. Now my best friend finally knows because I finally told him and he is totally and completely accepting, even if he doesn't fully understand yet. So maybe I am not quite in the same boat as you in that estrogen ocean.

But I know what you mean, living vicariously. I am always doing that, through books and things. It's the only way I can right now, because the thought of my body being intimate with anyone actually makes me want to throw up. It's like you both said, exactly like you both said. In my head, I am a man with all the proper bits. I don't even want to think about being in a relationship as a woman. This is why it always feels like my life, my real life, will not begin until I transition. And until then, I am just faking it, just waiting. You know?

I know what you mean about not wanting to settle, too. All the guys around here are just ridiculous. Could be the area I live in, though.

It's so great to know other people feel this way and do these things.

[Remus]

I love yaoi, actually, haha! I do the same. I've been following someone on an art website called dA and they have the best I've seen. I think it's fan art, though. I can't find any really good yaoi, though, besides Junjou Romantica but then the story got a bit old because it was the same thing over and over again. *shrug*

Huzzah for yaoi and dA!

omg!! Exactly!!! You wrote that just how I feel. That was a bit freaky, haha. It's so true, though! Whenever I think of myself with another man, I am a man as well with all the *bits* (as you say it, haha) that I want and should have. I could never think of myself with another man in that way as a woman. It sickens me. I would love to transition, but I just don't like my options, at least not between the legs, you know? I don't want a boyfriend just to have one, either. I want to care for someone and share the experience and everything. I have a lot to give, but I'm just not attracted to any of the guys at my school or in this city, really. I'm not picky, either, I'm just not gonna settle.

...

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that does/feels this way.

It's odd, no matter how often I read something on here written by someone else that expresses exactly, word for word, how I think and/or feel, it never ceases to surprise and happify me whenever it happens.

And yeah, I sort of gave up on between the legs. It'd be nice, of course, and if it were actually, properly possible then I'd certainly consider it, but the main thing (at the moment, anyway) is just being accepted as a man at all, and, thankfully, being humans instead of dogs, we tend to greet by hand-shakes, rather than going straight for the more 'give-away' areas. So between the legs is secondary for me, and something I generally try not to think about too much, particularly where other guys are concerned *ahem*, because then I tend to get angsty. Though recently, today actually, I was thinking about...I think it was about dancing costumes or something, and the lower half of the costume and what the person wearing it would have to do to accomodate guy bits or girl bits, and I automatically thought about how I would do it, before I realised that I was imaginary-planning for bits I don't have. Though I'm kind of an organisation/neat freak (not that the house would demonstrate that at the moment ), so the thought of not having anything pokey-outy satisfies that part of my mind. No floppily doppilies, while I won't be whole, will at least be neat.

But I know what you mean, living vicariously. I am always doing that, through books and things. It's the only way I can right now, because the thought of my body being intimate with anyone actually makes me want to throw up. It's like you both said, exactly like you both said. In my head, I am a man with all the proper bits. I don't even want to think about being in a relationship as a woman. This is why it always feels like my life, my real life, will not begin until I transition. And until then, I am just faking it, just waiting. You know?

Dude, snap. Once again, word for word. Everything is in limbo, or suspended animation, and you can only start living once you take that next step, but from this perspective it's not so much one small step as one giant leap, and you know it'll all be better once you take it, it's just convincing yourself to jump in the first place, and you're watching the days, weeks, months, years go by, knowing you have to do something, that until you do you're only half-participating in life, but you're scared to hurry things too just in case you're wrong about it and it's just 'a phase' that you'll snap out of, but you haven't snapped out of it yet, the feelings are just getting stronger and stronger, and yet you're still not quite able to make that final decision because you're still not 100% sure, but while you wait and try to figure it out life is flying by without you and you're feeling worse and worse about it and yet the only solution lies in your hands and a decision that you want to be certain about and need to make but in trying to be certain you're wasting even more time and AAAAAAAHHHHH, MY BRAIN!!!

*sigh* Yaoi, anyone...?

[Guest KageBoy171]

Huzzah for yaoi and dA!

Haha! Yeah, do you know any others besides Junjou?

And yeah, I sort of gave up on between the legs. It'd be nice, of course, and if it were actually, properly possible then I'd certainly consider it, but the main thing (at the moment, anyway) is just being accepted as a man at all, and, thankfully, being humans instead of dogs, we tend to greet by hand-shakes, rather than going straight for the more 'give-away' areas. So between the legs is secondary for me, and something I generally try not to think about too much, particularly where other guys are concerned *ahem*, because then I tend to get angsty. Though recently, today actually, I was thinking about...I think it was about dancing costumes or something, and the lower half of the costume and what the person wearing it would have to do to accomodate guy bits or girl bits, and I automatically thought about how I would do it, before I realised that I was imaginary-planning for bits I don't have. Though I'm kind of an organisation/neat freak (not that the house would demonstrate that at the moment ), so the thought of not having anything pokey-outy satisfies that part of my mind. No floppily doppilies, while I won't be whole, will at least be neat.

Yeah. I looked up all of the possibilities imaginable and I didn't like any of them. I still have penis envy, but like you said, someone will only know if something's missing if I want them to or not. It's not like people go around grabbing at such things, haha.

Dude, snap. Once again, word for word. Everything is in limbo, or suspended animation, and you can only start living once you take that next step, but from this perspective it's not so much one small step as one giant leap, and you know it'll all be better once you take it, it's just convincing yourself to jump in the first place, and you're watching the days, weeks, months, years go by, knowing you have to do something, that until you do you're only half-participating in life, but you're scared to hurry things too just in case you're wrong about it and it's just 'a phase' that you'll snap out of, but you haven't snapped out of it yet, the feelings are just getting stronger and stronger, and yet you're still not quite able to make that final decision because you're still not 100% sure, but while you wait and try to figure it out life is flying by without you and you're feeling worse and worse about it and yet the only solution lies in your hands and a decision that you want to be certain about and need to make but in trying to be certain you're wasting even more time and AAAAAAAHHHHH, MY BRAIN!!!

*sigh* Yaoi, anyone...?

For real!!! That's exactly what it is! Limbo! I have to wait and wait and wait. It's like I'm trapped in this body like a prisoner. It gives me an idea for a movie, a really trippy movie, but pretty sweet nonetheless. XD Anyway, I'm just so tired of waiting. I want to live my life as Kage Monroe without any questions as to whether I'm a butch lesbian. I'm not! I'm a boy! >_< Ugh! I get so frustrated. My head hurts, haha.

[Guest ScifiComicDUDE]

Oestrogen Ocean(cool name) - meh too

I think u should just do whatever pleases u with the hair thing, if anyone doesnt like it , tough luck, well they always have their own hair to do do whatever pleases them.. in HS it can be difficult not to listen to "voices", once u get to uni/college everyone is doin their own thing...

its "scary" when guys call u lesbian,coz its quickly associated with = men hating, by ignorant people ,

they dont understand u just wanna be in the boys club too!!

[Guest KageBoy171]

its "scary" when guys call u lesbian,coz its quickly associated with = men hating, by ignorant people ,

they dont understand u just wanna be in the boys club too!!

It really is scary and it's not like I can prove anyone wrong by saying I've had a boyfriend because I've never had one.

I'm just so frustrated and mad about everything.

The only person that really likes my hair is my sister, oddly enough, but she knows that I look better with short hair.

I hate that when I finally feel like I look amazing, everyone else hates it.

[Guest Ivan Le Renard]

Haha! Yeah, do you know any others besides Junjou?

I feel bad for just randomly replying to that bit, but I have a few good yaoi/bl suggestions. >:3

Let's see...

Rush! by Yukimura

Bokurani Matsuwaru Etc by Kyuugou

Koisuru Boukun by Takanaga Hinako

Rules by Miyamoto Kano

Most of these suggestions are 18+ and have NSFW content btw. Just a little warning.

I'm such a geek. I have tons more I could recommend. *pervert*

I don't care what he says, but to be real, guys don't like "girls" with short hair, whether I portray myself as a girl or not.

On facebook I was tagged in a photo as "the closet lesbian". I love lesbians, they're cool, but I'm just not one. I'm possibly bisexual, but right now, I want a guy. I only have girls that are friends, really, and I grew up in a house of girls. I'm in the ESTROGEN OCEAN! I want out! So, I want a boyfriend right now, not a girlfriend and I'm just not a lesbian.

Guys don't like girls with short hair? Since when?

There are many, many pretty ladies with short hair. In fact, I prefer my ladies with shorter hair. xD

Maybe it's just me though...

Bleh, I hate the estrogen flowing through my house. I have to share a room with my sister. She's like an entire planet full of angsty teen hormones that sometimes crashes into my little planet of happiness. The result is a lot of drama and arguments. :c

[Guest KageBoy171]

I feel bad for just randomly replying to that bit, but I have a few good yaoi/bl suggestions. >:3

Let's see...

Rush! by Yukimura

Bokurani Matsuwaru Etc by Kyuugou

Koisuru Boukun by Takanaga Hinako

Rules by Miyamoto Kano

Most of these suggestions are 18+ and have NSFW content btw. Just a little warning.

I'm such a geek. I have tons more I could recommend. *pervert*

Hahaha! Are these manga or anime? XD

Guys don't like girls with short hair? Since when?

There are many, many pretty ladies with short hair. In fact, I prefer my ladies with shorter hair. xD

Maybe it's just me though...

Most, if not all, of the guys that I know don't like girls with short hair. I guess they just aren't attracted to them for some reason. My opinion is that short hair is masculine, apparently, and so straight guys aren't attracted to that. I don't know. It just sucks.

[Guest Ivan Le Renard]

Hahaha! Are these manga or anime? XD

They're all manga and can be found at mangafox.com c:

Most, if not all, of the guys that I know don't like girls with short hair. I guess they just aren't attracted to them for some reason. My opinion is that short hair is masculine, apparently, and so straight guys aren't attracted to that. I don't know. It just sucks.

I have no idea what kinds of hair my other brofriends like. I guess this'll make an interesting topic tomorrow at lunch. Knowing my friends, I'm sure it'll quickly turn into a very perverse conversation.

Short, but feminine to mid-length hair is my favorite on a lady. My tastes have always been a bit odd though. I like women who are a bit masculine. (Even if only in personality.) o:

[Guest KageBoy171]

They're all manga and can be found at mangafox.com c:

Cool beans! I'll definitely check them out. : ]

I have no idea what kinds of hair my other brofriends like. I guess this'll make an interesting topic tomorrow at lunch. Knowing my friends, I'm sure it'll quickly turn into a very perverse conversation.

Short, but feminine to mid-length hair is my favorite on a lady. My tastes have always been a bit odd though. I like women who are a bit masculine. (Even if only in personality.) o:

Haha! If I asked any of my guy friends, they would immediately think I was asking them for myself (especially since they are more acquaintances than friends). -___- They would think "Oh no, she likes me, but we're friends, I have to be nice." Psh, don't flatter yourself, you know? Haha.

I can't say I disagree with you, though I prefer men to girls.

[Guest hayden_jude]

Kage - Guys totally don't like girls with short hair! I know what you mean. There was this guy in my sophomore debate class who was a total jerk, always going on about what he liked in a woman as if the girls in the class were supposed to be taking notes or something. Ugh. And that was one of the things he mentioned.

[Guest KageBoy171]

Kage - Guys totally don't like girls with short hair! I know what you mean. There was this guy in my sophomore debate class who was a total jerk, always going on about what he liked in a woman as if the girls in the class were supposed to be taking notes or something. Ugh. And that was one of the things he mentioned.

Yeah, it's a little upsetting.

I hate that I have to wait for the most amazing guy ever to have a relationship that works for the both of us, you know?

And those sorts of relationships don't come along as a teenager. Maybe not even in your twenties. >_<

And now I'm reading more yaoi and I'm even jealous of those characters, too. -_____- So pathetic, haha.

[Guest sphere]

Hahaha I'm actually doing the exact same thing with the exact same comic right now.

THE SUSPENSE. IT IS KILLING ME.

[Guest KageBoy171]

Hahaha I'm actually doing the exact same thing with the exact same comic right now.

THE SUSPENSE. IT IS KILLING ME.

AWPOPOSJTPOJSPTHPSOJGPOSJPOHJPSODFMVKLDFSBLSKRTHPEIOTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's killing me!

I keep refreshing and refreshing, hoping it will give me the next page! >_<

Hahaha!

Tom is just... XD

And Alex is too adorable.

They have to stay together!!!

[Remus]

Hahaha I'm actually doing the exact same thing with the exact same comic right now.

THE SUSPENSE. IT IS KILLING ME.

And now I'm reading more yaoi and I'm even jealous of those characters, too. -_____- So pathetic, haha.

I can see that I'm going to have to have a wee sticky at this comic. Ugh, and just when I was trying to wean myself off yaoi too. It's such a love-hate relationship, loving it because you can live vicariously through it, but then feeling so hopelessly depressingly jealous of all the characters. I know whenever I read it/look at all the pretty pictures I find myself constantly thinking (and sometimes saying out loud before I've even realised I've opened my mouth), Argh, that is so unfair!/not fair/you lucky illegitimate children/unfair/I hate you all/bite me or variations thereof.

Haha! If I asked any of my guy friends, they would immediately think I was asking them for myself (especially since they are more acquaintances than friends). -___- They would think "Oh no, she likes me, but we're friends, I have to be nice." Psh, don't flatter yourself, you know? Haha.

I can't say I disagree with you, though I prefer men to girls.

Guys totally don't like girls with short hair! I know what you mean. There was this guy in my sophomore debate class who was a total jerk, always going on about what he liked in a woman as if the girls in the class were supposed to be taking notes or something. Ugh. And that was one of the things he mentioned.

It's odd, the only person who really seems to give a toss about my hair (apart from my dancing teacher, but mainly 'cause she likes hair in buns) is my Mum. So...you've cut your hair again................ I never know whether these long pauses are meant to guilt trip me, or if she's thinking over something to say about it, or what, but you can sort of hear the cogs turning. Half the time I find myself trying to justify it when the silence just ends up going of forever. .................Yeah, it was getting a bit too long again.

Ah!, I hate trying to justify myself all the time! Why can't you just accept it??? It's MY hair!!! She even badgered me into getting it cut properly once, to the point of getting cranky when I kept saying no, THEN, when I finally agreed, "Oh no, it's your hair I suppose, you can do what you want". ARGH!!!

But I have to disagree with the obnoxious guy in your class, Hayden, about guys not liking girls with short hair. Not that I'm a bioguy or anything (argh! again), but, as much as I love long hair on girls, I think some girls really can pull off short hair very nicely. I prefer my guys with long hair too, actually, but short hair on girls can (not always *does*, but *can*) look stunning.

[Guest harvester52]

I can totally understand. I do online text-based RPG's. Of course, my characters are always bio-guys, and I live my dream life through them. It's sad, but true. ><

[Guest hayden_jude]

Ok, I've started reading this comic now...and I'm hooked already. Ha! It's really good!

Remus -

Yeah, I completely agree with you. I mean, I'm not into girls, but I think girls look really nice with short hair.

[Remus]

I've been reading this webcomic called KhaosKomix.

The whole thing is about a group of friends in college in England, I believe.

The first chapter is about a guy named Steve who likes Mark.

The next is about Mark who likes Steve.

After that is about a girl named Amber who ends up liking a girl named Nay.

Then it's about Nay who likes Amber.

After that it is about an FTM named Tom who likes a boy named Alex.

Then it's about how Alex likes Tom.

Each chapter is merely in the point of view of the other person in a couple that both like each other.

Alex doesn't know that Tom is an FTM.

At this point, the two had been dating but Tom felt the need to break up with Alex because he didn't think it was fair that Alex didn't know the truth.

Now, he has just come out, and I am left waiting for Alex's reaction.

Is it weird that I'm hoping they'll stay together because it gives me hope in the real world?

It's killing me!

I keep refreshing and refreshing, hoping it will give me the next page! >_<

Hahaha!

Tom is just... XD

And Alex is too adorable.

They have to stay together!!!

Ok, I've started reading this comic now...and I'm hooked already. Ha! It's really good!

Dude.

I have an interview with the Red Cross in 6 hours' time, and instead of going to sleep like the good little transboy I am, I have just spent the last I don't know how many hours reading Khaos Komix, and I'm not even at the end yet. Actually, I am, only because I started reading Tom's story, realised HE was the FtM, and not Murfs, which I'd somehow forgotten (buggered if I know how, but I did *facepalm*) and thus been assuming all along, and skipped to the end to find out what happened. HOWEVER, I haven't ACTUALLY read all of it yet, BUT I AM GOING TO, DESPITE the consequent SLEEP DEPRIVATION and my Mum popping her head (without knocking!) into my room (it's 1:45am) and telling me to go to sleep and RANDOM capitalisation and everything.

Alas, it would appear you have me well and truly addicted too. Ta muchly.

And Tom and Alex HAVE TO stay together!!! The rest of it is so positive that they can't not!!!

And how...not just 'nicely', but SPECTACULARLY validating, that one of the hottest guys is FtM. Yay!!!

NB: sleep deprivation + gender therapist telling you they think you genuinely have "severe gender dysphoria" and aren't crazy + (brilliant) FtM-affirming pop culture = potentially freaky but happy high. :lol:

Peace out.

[Remus]

I've just got up to the "Totally worth it" black eye bit from when the girl clocks him one in the dressingrooms, and I'm crying and giggling at the same time - the first time I have ever, *ever*, *EVER* cried over being trans or being validated. Not even in the depths of depression have I cried (not for the trans aspect, anyway), but now I'm sniffling like a little girl. ZOMFG, I heart you for introducing me to this. Seriously, thank you, you have just made my week.

[Guest KageBoy171]

I can see that I'm going to have to have a wee sticky at this comic. Ugh, and just when I was trying to wean myself off yaoi too. It's such a love-hate relationship, loving it because you can live vicariously through it, but then feeling so hopelessly depressingly jealous of all the characters. I know whenever I read it/look at all the pretty pictures I find myself constantly thinking (and sometimes saying out loud before I've even realised I've opened my mouth), Argh, that is so unfair!/not fair/you lucky illegitimate children/unfair/I hate you all/bite me or variations thereof.

Too true. I had to get myself to stop reading yaoi but it was almost impossible.

But now I'm reading Rush, but I got confused and it ended.

So now I'm reading Koisuru Boukun, but this one bothers me a bit. Why can't he just accept that he's actually gay?!?!?!?!?! >_< Haha! XD

I can totally understand. I do online text-based RPG's. Of course, my characters are always bio-guys, and I live my dream life through them. It's sad, but true. ><

I do e-mail rps and I do the same. I pretty have my character look and act how I want to as a man, though I still act the same as a biogirl. *cringes at that word*

Ok, I've started reading this comic now...and I'm hooked already. Ha! It's really good!

It is!!!! I love this comic!

Dude.

I have an interview with the Red Cross in 6 hours' time, and instead of going to sleep like the good little transboy I am, I have just spent the last I don't know how many hours reading Khaos Komix, and I'm not even at the end yet. Actually, I am, only because I started reading Tom's story, realised HE was the FtM, and not Murfs, which I'd somehow forgotten (buggered if I know how, but I did *facepalm*) and thus been assuming all along, and skipped to the end to find out what happened. HOWEVER, I haven't ACTUALLY read all of it yet, BUT I AM GOING TO, DESPITE the consequent SLEEP DEPRIVATION and my Mum popping her head (without knocking!) into my room (it's 1:45am) and telling me to go to sleep and RANDOM capitalisation and everything.

Alas, it would appear you have me well and truly addicted too. Ta muchly.

And Tom and Alex HAVE TO stay together!!! The rest of it is so positive that they can't not!!!

And how...not just 'nicely', but SPECTACULARLY validating, that one of the hottest guys is FtM. Yay!!!

NB: sleep deprivation + gender therapist telling you they think you genuinely have "severe gender dysphoria" and aren't crazy + (brilliant) FtM-affirming pop culture = potentially freaky but happy high. :lol:

Peace out.

I did that with Koisuru the other night, haha.

And for real!!! I do love that the hottest guy in the comic is an ftm. It gives me hope and I am in love with it. XD He's awesome! I love Tom. XD

And they have to stay together!!!! It wouldn't be fair if they didn't. >_<

I've just got up to the "Totally worth it" black eye bit from when the girl clocks him one in the dressingrooms, and I'm crying and giggling at the same time - the first time I have ever, *ever*, *EVER* cried over being trans or being validated. Not even in the depths of depression have I cried (not for the trans aspect, anyway), but now I'm sniffling like a little girl. ZOMFG, I heart you for introducing me to this. Seriously, thank you, you have just made my week.

I can't remember that part, but I'm glad that you like it.

I just can't wait for them to get together already. x_x

[Guest Neuro]

Hey yaoi peoplez. Sometimes the genre gets a bad rap because everyone is so hairless and lovely XD but I enjoy it too. Ever read 'Complex?' it's an old title, but AUGH best of the genre. Very realistic perception of the characters. I haven't read any comics with FTM in it (MTF like No-Bra, but yeah) it sounds interesting!! ('Family Compo' is also very good)

AUGH I GOT THE BUTCH LESBIAN THING TOO. IDK how to combat it, other than combat it with actions and prove you don't 'hate women' like the retard media makes lesbians out to be... <.<;

I live out my dreams thru comics too *patpat* it is a common thing for those who do not have the ability/parts to live it -yet-. So long as you know the difference between comics and reality, it's a-OK! (like me, *points to avatar* I know an all-boys school isn't as fun and gorgeous as Gakuen Heaven, yes.)

Also through writing comics, augh. I have mostly male protagonists because I have a hard time writing female parts... despite growing up in an estrogen ocean as well. (mom and two sisters, all girl friends and dad at work all the time!! XD)

I am happy to see other comics and manga fans out there >:U *salute* esp. in the trans community.

[Remus]

ZOMFG THERE'S ANOTHER PAGE!!! Like, one more after the "pretender transformer" one. Huzzah!

[Guest KageBoy171]

Hey yaoi peoplez. Sometimes the genre gets a bad rap because everyone is so hairless and lovely XD but I enjoy it too. Ever read 'Complex?' it's an old title, but AUGH best of the genre. Very realistic perception of the characters. I haven't read any comics with FTM in it (MTF like No-Bra, but yeah) it sounds interesting!! ('Family Compo' is also very good)

That's what I like about them, though. They are so pretty. XD

I've never read Complex. What is that about?

I'm definitely going to keep these on file or something so that I can look back for them and read them. : ]

AUGH I GOT THE BUTCH LESBIAN THING TOO. IDK how to combat it, other than combat it with actions and prove you don't 'hate women' like the retard media makes lesbians out to be... <.<;

So you know!!!! I can't stand that crap! If anything, a friend that I have who has long hair is more a closet lez than I am! >_<

I live out my dreams thru comics too *patpat* it is a common thing for those who do not have the ability/parts to live it -yet-. So long as you know the difference between comics and reality, it's a-OK! (like me, *points to avatar* I know an all-boys school isn't as fun and gorgeous as Gakuen Heaven, yes.)

Yeah, I definitely still know the difference between a comic and reality, haha. It's still nice to dream. XD

Also through writing comics, augh. I have mostly male protagonists because I have a hard time writing female parts... despite growing up in an estrogen ocean as well. (mom and two sisters, all girl friends and dad at work all the time!! XD)

Same, but it's not that I couldn't play a female, it's just that I don't like straight rps or comics and stuff. Haha.

I am happy to see other comics and manga fans out there >:U *salute* esp. in the trans community.

Haha! True, true.

ZOMFG THERE'S ANOTHER PAGE!!! Like, one more after the "pretender transformer" one. Huzzah!

XD And even a new one after that yesterday. But it's still not my page that I want! I want them to get together and everything. >_< They are beating around the bush!!