(i Don't Want To Get) Pounded To A Pulp

[Guest BeckyTG]

Hello Lovely Ladies of the Garden,

The topic of personal safety is always in our minds and, as a group, we tend to be fearful about everything and anything. We fear how people will react to us, we fear being made fun of, we fear not "being able to pass", we fear the sun coming up, we fear the sun going down, you get the idea.

For those of us raised as boys and men, we just aren't used to the idea that we're extremely vulnerable and have to act accordingly to protect ourselves, like natal women do.

Any natal woman will tell you: Don't park in a parking garage, don't walk down stairwells, be careful in strange elevators, park your car in a well-lit part of the parking lot, have your keys ready before you leave the store to go to your car, look inside the car before you get into it, always be aware of what's around you as you're walking.

Most men don't have a clue about any of this. They just stumble around wherever they want to go. After all, most perverts out there have no interested in raping them, kidnapping them or controlling them using violence, so there's not much in the way of threats. In addition, men have the physical strength that comes from that awful "T", that women just don't have.

So, for those of you hiding under the bed, refusing to step outside "because I might get assaulted, beaten or spit on", Cowgirl up! Hike up your Big Girl panties and get with it.

Study the same things women do to be safe. Don't go to seedy places late at night, in fact, don't go there ever. Don't go into a bar or a club and fool some poor man that you're more than you are. Few things incite rage more than that. I believe that these are activities that lie behind many of the violent crimes to our sisters that grip us with true fear. Girls put themselves in positions that aren't good.

If you go to nice places, dressed nicely and act accordingly, there's very little risk of physical harm.

Look, there's risk in everything we do. It's a risk to cross the street, there are even people killed in the shower accidentally. That doesn't mean we should smell and stay home, for heaven's sake.

Your fears are far too magnified. I've been out a few times and I can't get over how well I've been treated everywhere I've gone. Other people are more absorbed with what they're doing than with who you are. Just don't take a biker's Harley for a spin without permission and you'll do fine.

Now, get out from under that bed and get some Vitamin D in the sunshine.....

Love,

Becky

[Guest angie]

It is all right,in fact,good to have fear.

But Don't Let Fear Rule Your Life.

Be aware of your surroundings always.

Don't put yourself in dangerous situations.

Go out using the buddy system.

Be Aware and Be Alive.

But above all,have fun on this your journey.

You have a once in a lifetime opportunity,as

you are getting to revisit and revise your puberty.

Enjoy it.

Angelique

[Guest Donna Jean]

Too many girls instinctively stick to the old male ways when out and about...

First thing to remember is that on HRT we are much weaker. Period.

And if we were pulled into an ally or place where we were assulted and the attacker found us to be pre-op it could be curtains!

You are not a male now...don't act like one!

Stay safe! There are a ton of safety tips, vieos, books, phamplets...etc...

Get familiar!

Be SAFE!

Love

Donna Jean

[Guest sarah f]

Thank You Becky for this post. I agree that we may perceive ourselves as being able to handle any situation and that is just not correct after you lose some of your strength. It is always better to be safe than sorry later.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest Maelee]

The last time I was in Detroit for a doctor's appointment I was going through a mall and had 2 teen boys say to me "You ever been beat up?" as I walked past them. It really kind of rattled me.

Later that night as I was driving home at maybe 1 in the morning I had to use the restroom so I just pulled off at a rest stop. Now I still very much look male but I was wearing a pair of golden yellow skinny jeans over knee high boots with 3 inch heels and a bright red blouse. There was only 1 big rig in the rest stop and as I was using the restroom it suddenly dawned on me that I was in a pretty dangerous situation. If someone came into the bathroom and took umbrage at me being dressed as I was I would not have been able to defend myself.

It amazed me at the time how much it scared me. My electrologist advised that she never uses rest areas. She always uses gas stations that are well lit and if possible that have other people in them. Some very good advice.

Before that night, I had always been mindful of my surroundings but it really never hit me how vulnerable I was making myself by still following some of my old habits.

Keep a watchful eye out there and think before you act.

*hugs*

Mae

[Guest viv]

Great advice Becky,, and noted. viv

[Carolyn Marie]

Great post, Becky. Some excellent advice already posted here.

I'll just add a couple of things that I hope helps, some from my background in law enforcement.

1. Never walk with your head down. Keep your head up, walk with a confident air, look all around you

for signs of danger and if your sixth sense tells you something is wrong, avoid it or go back the way

you came until you can find a security guard or some other type of escort.

2. Have the local police phone number on speed dial on your cell phone. 9-1-1 calls, at least in California,

go to the CHP or some other central number and there may be minutes lost while they figure out what

jurisdiction you're in and get you aid.

3. Attach what's called a kubaton to your key ring, or have another type of large key ring, that you can

swing at an attacker's face. Have it out as you approach your car. Its an effective defense weapon.

4. In most states, pepper spray is legal for anyone over the age of 18 to carry. It is VERY effective unless

its rainy or windy. You don't need a license to carry it, and you don't need training. Just make sure you take

it out of your purse if you're going through airport security.

5. At night, always try to have a buddy with you. Its rare that someone will take on two people.

6. Like Becky said, stay away from grungy places. They are no place for a lady.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Donna Jean]

Becky.......

Here is something that happened to me a while back....

Check it out!

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/in...c=13585&hl=

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest foxy]

i recently picked up some mace and a tazer, definitely makes me feel a lot safer, special when walking out to my car at 1am at night

little off note, but dose everyone's place of work make them park way out in the middle of no where, making you take the spots with little light and no cameras?

its like places of employment want there associates to get mugged or worse.....

i'v always been the paranoid type so i am really good about being aware of my surroundings.

i think a definite must ave for every women now and days is some maze and a tazer... tazer for first one... mace just in-case you miss or there is more then one.....

don't think i would ever get a gun though... if they took my purse then they would have a gun too...

[Guest Maelee]

Wow, I would forget my head if it was not attached. In the time it took me to read Donna Jean's story and the responses I forgot it was a link from this thread. So Donna, I gave your thread a bump. What a really scary thing to have happen!!

Love and *hugs*

Mae

[MaryEllen]

Far too many of us have the attitude that "It couldn't happen to me". The sad fact is, that unless we adhere to common sense logic, it can and probably will happen to you. If you don't believe it just watch the nightly news. The top stories are murders, rapes and beatings. These folks probably thought it couldn't happen to them either but it did.

One doesn't have to be a victim if a few common sense rules are followed. They've all been stated above so I won't repeat them.

Taking a basic course in self defense is always good. Carrying a potent can of pepper spray and knowing how to use it effectively will help. If one does carry a firearm for self protection, take a course in safe gun handling and and defensive techniques. If you carry a gun, have the mindset to use it if necessary. If you don't feel that you can pull the trigger on a thug, even if your life is in immediate peril, do not, I repeat, do not carry a firearm. If you hesitate for even a split second, it could mean that your life is forfeit. Carrying a gun in a purse is not a good idea either. Carry it on your person in either a high ride, shoulder or cross draw holster where you can get to it easily.

Even with all that, there's still no guarantee that you won't become a victim but at least you won't be walking into it blindly.

MaryEllen (still alive)

[Paula ult]

All good advise, when leaving anywhere to get to my car in addition to having my keys out i have the largest one between my index and middle finger, it sticks out and can be used as a weapon if needed.

Last week i stopped at the grocery store, and for some reason the parking lot lights were out and it was pitch black so i just went home and went back the next day when it was light out.

Paula

[Guest AshleyRF]

Sixteen years of judo... I'm fine even without my strength.

[Sakura]

as some one that has been a victim of a few hate crimes. i can vouch that it does happen. the worst part is being savagely beaten and raped is there rarely ever real justice for transsexuals, in the times it has happened to me no one went to jail, well i take that back in one case im the one the one that ended up in jail.

the best way to not become a statistic is to plan a head your mind is your best weapon

a few months back i got outted in a bar, that night i musta looked particularly good cause i had almost every person in there with male genitals hitting on me. which came the problem*long story short* after i got outted it set them all into hyper masculin mode with thier questions and trying to pat me down to see if im carrying anything extra. before i realized it i was surrounded in all the arguing. i noticed one guy lift his shirt exsposing a hand gun tucked into his waist band. which triggered all my self deffence training. i calmly slid my hand into my purse and flipped the safty off my gun. after a few more moments of arguing. i seen my opening the guy with the gun turned to take a drink and i made a play for the door got to my car a burned rubber getting the hell outta there

what i think saved me. was my uber awsome ability to remain cool under pressure and use my head. if you can remain thinking clearly you can get out of most any situation. thre was this woman here " she was opening up this local doctors office and a man rushed in attemtping to rape her in stead of panicing she started calling out to some imaginary employee and made this guy think some one else was there with her, the guy turned and ran off. one of my favorite ones my sisters friend and mom were at the mall. and the daughter noticed a man fallowing them every were they went when they were walking out the guy started to close distance rapidly. the daughter turns to her mother and says very loudly "so mom did those herpie sores ever go away !!?" the guy instantly U turned and left it might have embarassed them both to death but prolly save thier lives

when walking around places like a mall always keep your head up and look like your aware of every thing thats going on even if your not, people that are normally attacked are caught off guard. rapest, bullies and just not very nice people. always look for the easy target seeing somthing coming even from 5 feet away could mean the diffrence between getting out alive or being on the nightly news

thats all i gots for now

Sakura

[Guest angie]

Those were good points,and coming from a woman who

has lived most of her life as a woman.Who outed you?

Another woman jealous of all the attention you were receiving?

I have to take public transportation.Have been outed in a big

way more than once.When I am the only woman at the stop

it get's rather scary at times,knowing how vulnerable I am now.

But it is the night that get's me.Many time's I am the only one

at a stop,and do not trust the average man who may be only

catching the same bus I am.I take out my cell phone and keep

it in my hand in the ready position.But know I at least need to

carry pepper spray to ward off the insistent attacker.I do keep

a metal nail file in my purse at all times though.Something atleast.

Angie

[Guest Nelly]

Look, there's risk in everything we do. It's a risk to cross the street, there are even people killed in the shower accidentally. That doesn't mean we should smell and stay home, for heaven's sake. biggrin.gif

At the end, life is deadly. So the trick is to push the end as far away as possible. Staying alive is some kind of science and this thread is good to study it.

I read that the chance to get raped decrease just by the matter to say "Hello" to everybody. If you talked to them you are not more a total stranger unknown person and the threshold of harming you is setup to a higher point.

Please take a look to this youtube

. Some bad guys try to beat a so called "crossdresser". It start to be interesting at 1:00 minute. What the guy didn't know, the "crossdresser" is an ultimate fighter in normal life and has dressed up for a party. So bad luck for the guy

What does we learn? Surpise the people with some nice skills the don't expect.

Greetings

Nelly

[Guest Donna Jean]

Good one, Nelly..........

Yup, life is a crap shoot, but, there's nothing wrong with stacking the odds in our favor once in a while!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Sally]

The best way to defend yourself is through an awareness of your surroundings.

At my size I used to wander across a parking lot at night and dig my keys out of my pocket while standing outside of the car, I never even looked around.

Now I have to walk across a dark parking lot after the store closes so I have my keys in hand and I am looking around staying away from anything that l;looks suspicious, my keys are held with one extending between my fingers - for gauging if necessary.

I am not a very brave woman - I was never a brave man so avoiding danger is not really new to me.

Love ya,

Sally

[Sakura]

a cell phone can be another great tool. people attempting to abduct you or rape or rob you almost never attack some one on a cell phone its like having a witness. even less so if they are maintianing awarness. i was driving between PA and IN and stopped at one of the rest stops to use potty and get something to drink. i noticed a man standing buy the ladies room at night. my better judgment told me to keep driving to the next but it was well over 130 miles away so i pulled out my cell phone and called my mom and fished my gun from the bottom of my purse. after making sure i locked my doors and explained to my mom the reason. i was calling her so she could take note of every thing i would say if attacked. walking up to about ear shot i began loudly describing the rest stop by name. about what mile marker i could last remember even describe the man. my cell at the time had a camra that face the screen so you could your self while taking a pic, walking back to my car. i held it so i the camra was facing slightly over my shoulder and i could see whats behind me in the screen i prolly looked and sounded like a goober but i wasnt taking chances

with being outted it was by the bartender, stupid M on my DL is going to get me shot one of these days. i was kinda confused by him outting me though. the whole night before that point he had been really nice to me joking and i think flirting. at one point i was playing with my zippo lighter and he took it and was showing me fancy ways to open it and light it. was going good but soon as my back was turned he broke his neck to tell. so meh it just goes to show you that even if some one is being nice to your face they could be looking for a place to stick the knife

Sakura

[Guest Nigh]

Personally, I think that if someone is trying to rape you, then you're clearly doing something right. Yeah, that sounded more messed-up than I wanted it to.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Personally, I think that if someone is trying to rape you, then you're clearly doing something right. Yeah, that sounded more messed-up than I wanted it to.

Well.......yeah....it did......

_{Donna Jean}