The Joy Of Being Gender Gifted

[Sally]

OK, right away you are all thinking here comes that wacko Sally putting up a lot of garbage about how to be happy with your situation, how to get by and pretend that you are fine - not entirely, I am going to show you the way to happiness in our situation, how to feel better and no longer have to pretend - are you interested enough to read on?

For starters we all tend to see our condition as being a curse but like with so many other things what one sees as a curse another sees as a gift or a blessing - what can be a gift or blessing about being trans?

I will tell you in my case and see if you don't see a little bit about yourself in my life.

I was born a male child in the 50s and as such had no information about transsexuality so I was alone in my knowledge that something was wrong, I strove to be the best son any parents could have and I knew that my parents loved me - I did what they wanted me to do and they were happy, I was who they wanted me to be and they were happy, I pretended to be happy and they were happy - in my 50s I came out to my mother and found out that she only loved the image that I had projected with little to no interest in even finding out who I really am - I now know that what I thought was love wasn't.

This was reinforced when my wife, who 'loved' me so much left after I told her - she loved the image as well.

I came to realize that I had no idea of what love really was and I looked around and realized that most of my friends really had no idea of what it was either working in a tiny group of acquaintances that they called friends but never really shared any of their lives with each other - we are all running around this crowded planet all alone, isolated within ourselves.

I came to Laura's hoping to preserve my sanity and my marriage but I seem to have failed at one - I believe that I have maintained my sanity - I was alone, I was scared and I never really opened up to anyone - always guarded and holding back, incredibly repressed and unable to reveal anything about my true feelings - I was not loved and I did not even know how to love - I could not have been more alone.

Here in my little computer room, I came to Laura's and began to realize that I had connected with a large group of others like myself with little to no love in their lives but their hearts filled with love that no one wanted to accept - so giving and caring and also so alone.

It seems that the greatest freedom comes from within captivity - the most creative people have always been among the most repressed - the greatest music comes from Russia under the Czars and from the Negro Spirituals from American slaves which gave us Gospel, Jazz, Soul and Rhythm and Blues - so being imprisoned in the wrong body has caused us to love even more.

It is from the people I have met here that I have learned what love truly is and how pure and wonderful it can be - from responses to posts, PMs, telephone calls, Skype calls and actual meetings - I have found that there are people in this world who love me for who I am and do not care about who I pretended to be, they love me and in return, I love them and even myself.

There are a lot of wonderful people here and I am pretty sure that a lot of you know about my closest friends and it is no surprise that they are at the core of this revelation.

I have discovered that true love, unconditional love does exist - it is separate from romantic love although I, suppose it possible and even ideal if the two could be combined it is not necessary for our happiness.

I never had unconditional love before, love was given on the condition that I be who they wanted me to be.

Now I know what it is and I received it from my very closest friend then I realized that I had it from my other oldest friend here and do you know what - once I began to share unconditional love with them I began to love myself unconditionally - no strings attached - I love me not him or her just me, and now I can share unconditional love with others and I am feeling better about myself every day.

Life shouldn't be reduced to passing or not, being attractive or not and all of those superficial things it should be about loving and being loved.

Love is a precious gift not to be horded and hidden away but to be shared with as many as possible.

Why does this make being Transsexual a gift and a blessing instead of a curse?

If I were not a transsexual woman, I would never have come to Laura's, had I never come to Laura's I would never have met any of you wonderful people, I would not have met Donna Jean who has taught me what unconditional love is all about and Lizzy who has been with us both showing unconditional love for both of us and showing that it does not have to be between two people it can and should be shared by many - unconditional love is what I should have learned about in Church, it is what Christ taught but it has been so corrupted in money raising that the meaning was lost to me - these wonderful people have shown me the way - all so very different and yet all the same we are gifted, open your hearts and accept the blessing.

I have found what true, unconditional love is and I know how to share it, admit to yourself that you are blessed and not cursed, if you are having trouble with that - PM me and we can talk, I will spend whatever time it take to help you to love yourself - if Donna Jean and Lizzy could spend a year and a half to get me to open up how can I spend less on any of you?

LOVE is the gift and the blessing - it grows when shared - let's grow together and we will never have to pursue happiness again, it is right here within ourselves, take a moment and listen to your heart - it knows, it loves you, it loves others - listen to it and share its love - give yourself permission to be happy.

I Love each and every one of you, believe that for it is true and why I come here to share my love with you and to feel your love, it feeds my love and allows me to be happy - won't you join me and share your love and learn to be happy?

LOVE

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I had never heard it put exactly the way you did! Moving - very moving - and especially in the message we try to bring to Laura's.

Sally is in a good place - obvious from her posting. Donna Jean and I aren't perfect, but we have a lot more support at home than Sally - she was a very loving and giving person, who had no outlet when we found her. She gave her all in the environment at Laura's - and yet, when we met her, she was a lonely wounded bird! Her world lacked a contact of others like herself... and we gave that.

BUT

What we received back was ten-fold! Sally taught us that it - unconditional love - is not only a precious commodity, but it can be shared. Like the Loaves and Fishes, it only gets greater when divided and given away!

Thank you for reminding us, my dear Sally!

Lizzy

[Guest Justme]

Hi Sally. Thank you so much for your heart felt message. I have been working alot this past month in letting my sunken love come back to the surface. Am finding for myself, the key is in learning how not to be offended, but to meet offense with understanding...when possible. Or, to just walk away. As all the sunday School lessons teach. "Do not be offended...Do not answer anger with anger....love one another." Hard to do, but not impossible.

I also think that we know more about love because we have had to take the time to work on all the bad luggage and let it go.

Thanks Sally for your message of love. You are a great lady.

[Guest praisedbeherhooves]

That's a positive way of looking at it. It's great how you managed to transform so much pain into so much love and then give back to the world. I know that when I have been down you have made me feel so much better. When you come out as transgender you know who truly loves you. Luckily my family did truly love me and so did most of my friends but if they didn't then I would have been better off without them anyway. Personally, I still would have much rather been born a genetic male but you can't change what you were born as. You can only decide what you will become.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

LOVE

Yes Sally. Love does grow when it is shared. When Love is given, happiness grows inside and outside of you

I came here for the same reasons you did. I remain here because all of the love that I have experienced here.

HUGS

Brenda

[Guest]

Feel the love! Thank you Sally for putting it into words.

Love, Kat

[Guest ricka]

Sally, your post just shimmers for me! You are a dear, dear sister. To me what you say here is the over-arching message of Laura's Playground---to love and be loved unconditionally and to come to the place of acceptance of ourselves and of others as we are. And for me that includes love and acceptance of those who do not understand or accept us as well. There is something intangible but incredibly special about the collective heart of transpeople. I have never encountered this anyplace else. Like it is what church people are supposed to be but in my experience failed miserably beyond the image they try to project. I don't mean to stand in the pulpit here but someone once told me God's Kingdom is an upside down kingdom (whose doors we are told are closed to us) where the "first will be last and the last will be first," and "the meak shall inherit the earth." Nowhere do I see this more true than here at Laura's.

Ricka

[Carolyn Marie]

Sally, your post really touched my heart. Thank you so much for letting us share in your thoughts and hopes. I know how hard it would have been to do

that just a short time ago, and how very far you've come.

In all our many, and too short, Skype conversations, you've made me laugh and cry and think, and all the while you're love came through loud and clear.

You are a wonderful woman, Sally. The world is missing out on all that by not embracing you. So, we here at Laura's have that wonderful gift of

your love to keep us warm and happy, and we are the better for it. The rest of the world doesn't know what its missing.

I'm glad I met you. I'm glad I found Laura's. I'm a better person for having found you, and Dee Jay, and Lizzy, and all my other dear and wonderful

friends. I hope I've been able to give half as much love as I've received from everyone here. That would make me the happiest woman in the world.

I love you, Sally.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Chandra]

Dear Sally,

You are most articulate in the way you presented your wonderful post.

I just love your no nonsense straight shooting style.

I have long known Love is life's most precious gift to share.

I just replied to young Ella's post and tried to let her know what some of us older ones have learned about love.

And CONGRATULATIONS with your journey

Happy Valentines Day Sweetheart, Love Chandra

[EVAN_DESU]

So, so true~!

Brought a tear to my eye.

We all love you so much Sally!

[Guest Donna Jean]

Sally.....

I've been crying (what's new?) and it's all your fault...

Ok, it was me that offered Sally that first cup of coco when she joined...she had very little to say...a real wallflower...(snicker...) obviously something has happened since then....

But I wanna tell everyone something and the very reason I can't hugg her right now is the same reason that she can't smack me...distance!

When I accepted myself I inherited an amazing need for touch...huggs, touches, rubs...any contact with people that I could get..

When I met Sally and Lizzy in Memphis, Sally was wounded...didn't like to be touched...

Now, here was an awkward situation!

So, you ask...."Well, did you touch her, Dee Jay?"

Yep, but it wasn't warmly received...kind of a "Let's get it over with" thing....

Everyone and everything was suspect...

Sally's attitude was "Why would you love me? What's in it for you?"

See? Sally didn't subscribe to the "unconditional love" theory...

She believed that someone wouldn't give you something for nothing...that they would expect something in return...

Well, it's been a long time now and Sally and Lizzy and I are the closest of friends...we laugh, love and share with each other...

Sally feels differently about love anymore....

And now you've read what Sally feels anymore...quite the turn, don't you think?

Now that she really DOES want to give me one of those big, Texas smooshy huggs...

We're to dang far apart to do anything about it!

*sigh*

I love you, Sally...

Donna Jean

[Guest viv]

Hi Sally,,Loving and lovely words , and for me so wonderful , wonderful because I know

they come from your heart .Thank you for the reminder , yes , unconditional love for

oneself is the foundation upon which we learn to love others . We are Trans Women ,,

to get those two major parts in OUR lives right ..thats Transition AND Love then the out-

come becomes bigger than the sum of its parts or in our case success ,,internal and

unbreakable joy -WE ARE WOMEN ,,,You are one special Lady Sally,,,luv,viv

[Guest sarah f]

I came to the site in search of answers and what I found was so much more than expected. What I found was a loving Family. Yes, I said family. That is what we are here. Each and everyone of us care for one another like we were brothers and sisters.

I owe a lot to Sally because she has helped me through my tough times that I was having with my wife. She also shared her therapist with me. If she didn't do that, than I still might be searching for someone to help me and I wouldn't have my first Doc appointment set to get started on HRT. I LOVE YOU Sally. I am in a better place now because of you.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest viv]

I came to the site in search of answers and what I found was so much more than expected. What I found was a loving Family. Yes, I said family. That is what we are here. Each and everyone of us care for one another like we were brothers and sisters.

I owe a lot to Sally because she has helped me through my tough times that I was having with my wife. She also shared her therapist with me. If she didn't do that, than I still might be searching for someone to help me and I wouldn't have my first Doc appointment set to get started on HRT. I LOVE YOU Sally. I am in a better place now because of you.

Love,

Sarah F

You hit the nail on the head there Sarah,,we are family . We accept one another warts and all ((mostly mine lol))

and just get on with trying to make Transition as easy as possible for each other,, AND IT WORKS . YES,,YES,,IT

WORKS,,. luv,viv