Chandras Beginnings

[Guest Chandra]

Hello Everyone,

.I guess my story begins as most here knowing that there is something drastically wrong when I first realized that boys and girls are different. I felt like a girl but somehow I was a little boy. I was born late in my parents life. My father was 50 and my mother was 48 years old. I also have two older sisters. My aunt once told me that I was an accident, my parents never intended to have another child that late in their life. We all grew up in a normal loving environment. But I was never happy, I hated being a boy and have to wear boys clothes. They felt wrong and very icky on me, and I remember perspiring very much because of this feeling.

Now when I look back at my early pictures, the discomfort on my face is most obvious. I felt like I should have been the third girl. I remember screaming and crying when my mother was dressing me in better clothes, for family get togethers and such. I really wanted to wear clothes like my sisters.

I also would rather play with girls toys like Barbie, easy bake oven and a lot of make believe, pretend kind of stuff. I hated being a boy and it really showed. I started wearing my sisters clothes at a very early age and wanting to be a girl. I also remember getting caught, or my mother and father finding my stash of hidden clothes. I now that they loved me, but they scolded me and forbid me from ever doing this again. They told me I must be sick in the head, but worst of all they made me feel very ashamed.

It was the 60's then, I don't know if the word transgender even existed then. All through grade and high school I was very withdrawn and had few friends. I actually never had a girl friend until collage. A girl that I knew from high school was chasing me , so I let her catch me. We got married and live happy together to the present. She is the only girl I have ever been with. I thought my desire to cross dress would end when we got married, but of course it did not. And I kept it in the closet until a few years ago. Cross dressing never gave me a sexual charge, it just felt so right, so peaceful. Somehow it just made me feel better. All of my fantasies were about being female.

When ever a would look at a pretty woman, I never thought like most men wanting to posses her. I would look at her like a wide eyed teen aged girl and wanted to be her.

I feel very lucky to be with my wife, not only is she a stunning beauty, she very open minded and has a very unique colorful style. She accepts me which ever way I am, and we have a lot of fun together. She knows that I need to do this, and supports me.

We both love nature so much we decided to start a new life far away from the rat race of a big city like Detroit.

We randomly wandered up to the UP a few years before and fell in love with it there, and had our honey moon in a log cabin on a unspoiled lake , deep in the woods there. I also love the recreational lifestyle here, as opposed to the career oriented lifestyle of the big city

It was our DREAM to live up here and have been loving it for the last 17 years.

But now you all know me as Chandra here at Laura's, and I am DREAMING again.

[gennee]

Thank you for sharing your wonderful story, Chandra.

Gennee

[Guest Melissa Marie]

Awww, thanks for sharing Chandra. It brought a smile to my face. I wish my S.O. would be like yours, but...that is the breaks. Some have very supportive s.o.' s and I am really happy that yours is. Makes it a lot better for you.

With love,

Melissa

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Chandra hon,

Your story has so many similarities to mine it is uncanny. You know, I never realized that we are practically the same age....

Geeze... no wonder we click

HUGS

Brenda

[Carolyn Marie]

Chandra, sweetheart, its so great to see you posting in a happy vein.

I love your biography; you have an excellent writing style.

You're very lucky to have such a loving and supportive wife. I wish you both a long and happy future together.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Donna Jean]

That was nice, Chandra....very nice...

Thank you for sharing that with us...we all have a story about where we came from and yours is wonderful.

I wish you all the happiness in the world.....

With love

Donna Jean