Giving Up

[Guest Justme]

Hi all. I thank you for all your support. Writing because I need to give up on my transitioning. I'm realizing I will never have the money to complete my surgery. And living in this in-between place is too much. I thought i would be able to find a way to save for surgery. I thought I would be able to save monies to move to a better place. But with 2 old dogs...spending money on vet bills and having a 12 year old car, that is now crapping out on me. Once I trade that in....I am stuck. No way out. So it is time to let it go. And I am out of strenght. This is not right! Hopefully...some day....this world will wake up to all the talent they are letting go.....by not letting us ...be who we are. Thank you all for your support. I am out of here.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Honey.....

Listen, don't throw in the towel just yet....

You are temporarily experiencing a setback, but, you're not out of the game by any means!

It happens, Hon...we all face setbacks and it sux, I know...

But, don't give it up.....you KNOW that it'll be back as strong or stronger than ever! So, money's tight right now...

I understand, but, just put things on the back burner for a time...Stay with us to keep your mind busy and keep these friendships that you've grown here...

Things are cyclic...and they'll come back around for you!

HUGGS & LOVE

Donna Jean

[Guest julia_d]

We all have days like this..

2 old dogs won't last forever.. old=worn out and not long for this world.

12 year old car.. yeah.. been there.. get a 10 year old one to replace it... and again and again.. probably get one for the same sort of money you get for scrap on the old one.. never know.. as it's old the parts might actually be surprisingly valuable.

For the rest.. well.. how to handle all that is what makes us the strong people we are. I guess sooner or later you will be back because honest.. transitioning really is something that can only be put off for so long and having tasted the real life side it will always be there stronger than before nagging and pushing. Dunno why I'm bothering to tell you that.. you know it already.

Do what you must to survive but just remember this quote (it's from a film, never spoken) "Deny me and be doomed!"

Took me a long time to work out exactly what it meant as well.

Now get them oily rags on and go get under that junkheap of a car.. the older they are the more they like being talked to.. swear if you like.. but kindness goes a long way with old machines.. plugs and points and just maybe feed it some new oil? just whatever you do don't wash it.. I washed mine and bits fell off.. (like me actually when I was roadcrew.. don't wash them either.. they fall apart as well if you clean and feed them) 10K more miles in it yet before it goes to the crusher.

[gennee]

Donna Jean's right. Setbacks are only temporary.

Gennee

[Guest viv]

Hello hun,,,out of strength ???been there sure,,,know what thats like , gonna go through

that a few more times over the years to come . You love your dogs so its not my place

to ""go there"", I hope they comfort you Justme. Car and home . too easy for me to

comment there and make a hash of that . What we share in common hun I can say

something about tho , and Donna Jean put it better than I can ,,please re-read her reply

and take her advice ,,,its good stuff hun. Saying you are ""giving up""is gonna pressure

you . Take a break, do nothing re transitioning , do something completely different,

this life can suck every ounce of energy out of us , we are sky high or way down .

Above all,,,go easy on yourself, you will be ok , thats the important thing ,,do not

dispair . Justme, we will be here if and when you want or need us , you are my brother,

I will never desert you ,,,luv,viv .

[Paula ult]

Justme,

At my local trans meeting there were 2 woman, both had stopped their transition for personal reasons, one was on hormones 10 years then had to stop, and restarted 4 years ago, the other was in a similar situation.

At some point you too maybe able to restart transition, so please do not give up hope.

Paula

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Justme,

If I have learned nothing else in my 49 years of existence I have learned this...

What may seem true today, does not mean it will be true tomorrow.

What obstacles seem insurmountable today can completely disappear tomorrow.

Conditions that seem forever and will never change today, are changed tomorrow.

You can never really tell what the future will bring. I can guarantee you this...

Your life, as it is now, will be vastly different before you know it. The day will come that you will look back on these days and realize how far you have come since then.

Do what you must, but never loose hope.

Love

Brenda

[Carolyn Marie]

Hey, man, I understand that things look pretty bleak. They won't always, though. Hang on to the possibility that your life will turn around.

Maybe it won't happen next week, or next month, or this year, but eventually it will.

Just know this, hon, whenever you need us, and for whatever the reason, we will be here for you. You are always welcome here, and we will miss you.

Good luck and God bless.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Mila]

It's just a setback, you will be able to get through it... It may seem hopeless, but you will find a way out!

Wishing you all the luck to straighten up your situation!

Mila

[Guest Chandra]

Please don't give up, just take a little time off and play it by ear. If you know that your heart , mind and soul are telling you to continue, belive your gut feelings, they are usualy correct, give it some time before you reach this conclusion of defeat.

Us new comers like me, want to feel that we to can live our dream, and respect and admire ones like you for your courage and sticktoitiveness, to believe that we to can live like you. We admire ,respect and use you for an example. So quiting for some tempary problemes will have a discouraging on me and many others.

Live your dream , life is to short and someday you will regret it . read Brenda's new post I hope it will inspire you.

Nothing worthwile in life comes easy, personal success will come to those that are relentlessly patient

Live your dream, life is to short to not

Love Chandra

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Justme

I am sorry to hear this from you, it is a setback and I for one have many yet I strive forward no matter what. Finances, family issues, health all have plagued me with some sort of setback but I still look ahead and stay positive. I will share something personal with you and well I guess everyone else that reads this. Giving up was a daily practise with me in the past. No matter what it was, a job too hard or difficult, school work, etc...I would just throw up my arms and say "I give up". A quitter I was. Never finished anything I started out with. My transition is my biggest endeavor that I have not given up on and refuse to give up on. Just yesterday I was called a "sweetheart", while my teenage son was with me, yes it hurt deeply inside but I did not let it get to me, I ignored their ignorant behavior and moved on with life. Hope this helps in some way.

Hugs,

Suzie

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Justme,

One more thing I wanted to say....

No matter where your life takes you, you are always welcome here. There is no requirement that you must be in transition to belong at Laura's. You are transgendered and there is no getting away from that. OK, circumstances in your life have made you take pause about your transitioning. I completely understand. Transitioning does not equal Transgendered. Transitioning is only a part of being Transgendered.

You are loved, understood, and you belong. Never forget that you are family here.

Always,

Brenda

[Guest doodle]

Hi Justme.

I have given up in the past due to problems and regretted it every day I had to present as male. GID never goes away.

Kelly

[Guest sarah f]

Justme you have gotten pretty good advise so far. All I can add is that look at some of our members and how long it took them to be able to transition. It is never too late. Stick with us here and hopefully we can comfort you enough to get you through these next few months or even years until you have the money to be able to do what you know you need to do to be truly happy with yourself. Don't leave us know.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest Donna Jean]

Just me.....

Honey, I'm hoping that you're still reading these posts.....you'll see the great outpouring of love and how much that everyone cares...

You just take a break and slide on back in here when ever you feel like it....

Just remember....money is the bane of all Transpersons...we all have to scramble for it for our needs....you are not alone in that....

It's best that we all stick together for support....

With Love....

Donna Jean

[Guest Chandra]

Hello Just Me,

I hope you don't leave us forever. Sure your strength is zapped today. But time has a way of repairing us.

I am sorry about your dogs going to vet much, and respect that you put their well being before yours.

I to have two dogs and would do anything for them.

Take a little time off and play it by ear, it costs almost nothing to keep the friendships that you established here at Laura"s.

And is not having friends one of the most important things that we have in life.

We all share a oneness here, because this is our place where we share a common theme, a place where you belong.

Hope your still out there. I never got to chance to know you.

What ever you choose, I wish you well my friend

Best Wishes, I hope to talk to you someday

Love Chandra

[Guest Amanda joan]

Justme,

You don't get to choose to be trans it is a Medical condition that has serious effects on our mental condition. The financail aspect of this is a burden for all of us. I know that we all need to be who we are. You may be able to put that off for a while, take care of your loved ones as they have taken care of you. You are a special person and that is not going to change. Take your time to decern what is the best thing for you to do at this moment in your life. You can set some short term goals for yourself without ruling out you long tern goals. I had to wait 15 years to get to the point where I felt I could transition. I have by no means worked out the details of how I am going to pay for my surgery but, I will figure out a way to do it no mater how long it takes. You also need to know that many people live happy lives in their desired gender without ever having surgery.

So please stay here and be a part of this community we care about you and are enriched by your presence here.

Peace & Love Amanda

[Guest Susan57]

Hello Justme,

Could you please reply so we know you have not gone yet. Please. We care about you.

Sincerely,

Susan