Transition/transforming

[Guest viv]

Hi Floks,

Got this stuff been bothering me a few day now. Our "headstuff".

I read a lot of Sally"s (sorry hun) poems . For me its so obvious theres

a womans head and a womans hand at work here . I have been having

some ups and downs lately and my reactions have been all male , I mean

my thinking ,,same old male assbutt thinking and reactions . I am

projecting ahead re affordability and I am "annoyed" ,,should I be say

resigned to this and not annoyed . This is just one instance , there are

more, a guy who lives over me is mentally unwell, he bangs on his floor/

my ceiling for hours and I loose a lot of sleep -he told me it was not

him banging ""its the ghosts of dead people""he tells me , I think this

cracker jack played a part in One Flew Over The Coocoos freakin Nest.

Anyway,,,in my head I have carried out some male oriented revenge on

this guy , I wont bring that into the real world ,gulp, but its my head ,

my thinking , its male . So, asking mostly the women here who are on

hrt,,,does it work ?? do those crazy man thoughts go , Im sick of em .

luv,viv

[Guest Nelly]

So, asking mostly the women here who are on

hrt,,,does it work ?? do those crazy man thoughts go , Im sick of em .

I put me also on the list for the answer.

From what I read, the agressiv thoughts past away with T. If something is not working as you want it, you will not be angry anymore, you will cry over it.

For me it is a strange situation. I know it is wrong and stupid but something in me want to do the bad boy style solution of the situation. If I take not care about it, I allways get a bad comment from my wife why I have done it that way. I know it is not good but the voice in my head ... ;-)

Greetings

Nelly

[Guest Donna Jean]

Honey.....

Any sex or gender can get angry.....it's just how the result of that anger manifests itself that changes...

Case in point...

A few months back I was driving on the interstate..a person came roaring up behind me and passed. They pulled right back in front of me with inches to spare....

Now....Old days.... I would of pulled along side of them and given the "Universal One Finger Salute" and mouthed a few choice words...

Well, I DID pull along beside them, looked until the driver looked over at me and...........

Stuck my tongue out at them and started laughing....

That felt so good!

You'll see, Viv......

After HRT you'll get creative....maybe a few "Ghosts" of your own!

LOVE & HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest sarah f]

Dee Jay I had to laugh at your comment. I wish I could have been there because that is just too funny.

Viv, I feel the same way as you do and hope my anger is reduced after being on HRT for a while. It won't be long for either of us.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest Elizabeth K]

My therapist said when I started HRT, 'now, you will find it impossible to get angry!"

WRONG

I still have a few male 'flare-ups' but I also notice that after I cry my eyes out! I think it is because I don't want to be that way (male) and it upsets me when the old ways emerge.

I seemingly gets better. As we come into our womanhood (we MTF) we tend to embrace what we are. Some things just don't have a place anymore - and heated anger goes away in some respects - replaced by a woman's rage of things being SO UNFAIR!"

So tiit for tat (avoiding the censor program). So we never lose our human nature, just express it differently perhaps - now as 100% chemically female.

It's a revelation!

Lizzy

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Viv hon,

Talk to your landlord about your neighbor. If he is that unstable, then there is no telling what he might do. Your reaction is quite normal when you feel trapped.

I am afraid that if you are placed into a similar situation after you transition, your reaction will be the same.

You are who you are

Love

Brenda

[Guest Kaitlyn88]

I'm not a crier, I guess because I have been through so much in my life that I've learned to cope with horrible things since a child. Hormones haven't changed that. I still get mad but it's in a different non violent way, you feel more like yelling instead of fighting. Although I've had a couple semi violent dreams but still mostly yelling. Girls get violently mad all the time though. I'm sure you've heard women say they wanted to shoot their ex boyfriend, or some girl he cheated on her with. Many times they take it out on other things through like his car, because they usually don't get physically violent to a man even with a gun.

[Guest Katrina Reann]

Viv,

Although I am not HRT I just wanted to give my 2 cents. Women do get angry and have assbutt thinking sometimes. For instance, we live in apt and above us is a young girl with a 3 or 4 year old who likes to run in the house. So all we hear all day is thud, thud, thump, thud with a huge plop when she sits down on the floor. One night my widfe turns to me and says, "Can I chop that kids legs off and b slap her momma?" In the other side across from this young girl above us is a couple with 2 terrorist boys about 5 and 7. They have this habit of running and jumping down the stairs while screaming at the top of their terroristic lungs. My wife constantly asks me if she can go out and grease the stairs with her socks and then stuff them in their little mouths after she b slaps mommy and daddy....lol. I could tell you about the screaming, whining, door slamming mom that lives across the hall and what she wants to do with her but I think you get the point...It's ok to get angry and think demented things as long as you don't act on them. If my wife acted on her demented thing our neighbor across the hall would be hanging by her toenails from the ceiling with her mouth taped shut with a song from the wizard of oz playing over and over. DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD.

Want me to tell how devious my sister is....rofl...Huggsss

[Guest NatashaJade]

Viv,

What I have found is that although I get angry (like when someone pulls up next to me with their bass speakers pumping out ungodly low frequencies), I no longer feel rage like I used to and this has been the best effect of the hrt, beyond all the physical stuff. And while I used to construct all sorts of devious and violent plots to destroy the evil talk radio and television commentators, I just don't do that very much if at all. I don't have the passion for it that it seems I used to. It's strange to think about because I really don't have the same kind of aggressive thought process. Hmmm. Interesting.

That being said, I've had neighbors like yours and I would still want to destroy them. Without the rage, of course (probably a good thing for them).

luv

Gin

[Guest Amanda joan]

Viv,

Apartment living can be an adventure. I would think about what it is like to be this guy who is mentally unbalanced. He is probably scared or confussed all the time. Show him compassion and ask for his help to get the ghosts to quiet down so you both can get so much needed sleep. Ask him if there is someting that you can help him with. Just be a friend to him and maybe you can help him get ride of those ghosts. We all have untapped talents that if we develop them can be very helpful.

I find being on HRT that I an just so happy to be on the path to wo I need to be. I am not prone to anger but, I do sometimes think about what I could do to make a mean persons suffer. I never do any of those things but, I guess it's an exercise that helps me releive that stress.

Peace & Love Amanda

[Guest nymphblossom]

I think alot depends on how much you suppressed your emotions all those years you presented as a guy. I was always one to go from happy to livid at warp speed. If anything, my wife says HRT has had a calming effect. I have always cried occasionally. I still cry occasionally. There just hasn't been that kind of effect on me.

Blossom

[Guest viv]

Thanks ladies,,I am gonna (today)try to write down how this feels and put same away

till next year a to see if there is any difference in the head department lol. Katrina, hun,

thanks , your reply had me in stitches ,,still laughing. Yep,,apartment life is so different

to what I am accustomed to .Looking forward to the tranquillity of Estrogen filled brain

cells , thanks again , love you all, viv

[Guest Katrina Reann]

Viv,

I am glad you got a kick out of that. Apt living can be and usually is hard to get use to. I know where we live there is a lot of drama, so we just stay to ourselves and try not to get involved.

I agree with Amanda that there is obviously a mental condition with your neighbor. There is probably not a whole lot that can be done in that type of situation as long as he he is not threatening to anyone or himself. If he is medicated and taking it as prescribed you "might" be able to talk to him if he is getting any benefit from them. But if he is not medicated or taking them you might not be able to get through to him at all. He sounds very much like my wife's brother who is a Schizophrenic. If I was you I would definitely let the office know what is going on. Again they probably won't be able to do anything about it but they do need to be aware of what is going on. If this keeps going on you can always put in for a transfer to another apt but be aware although the circumstances may be different there is always the chance of noisy kids, partiers, or beings from other planets that don't know the meaning of respect .

As for the HRT and it's effects I'll have to refer you to these other gals since I am not on hormones. All I'll say is be patient and let your brain and body adapt...Huggsss...Katrina