What Is Going On?

[Guest ccharles]

Lately my urge for crossdressing has increased. The thing is, I used to do it beause it aroused me. now sometimes i don't know why i do it.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Lately my urge for crossdressing has increased. The thing is, I used to do it beause it aroused me. now sometimes i don't know why i do it.

Well, Hon.....

Maybe sometimes it just feels good and relaxes you!

No more...no less!

LOVE

Donna Jean

[Guest Emily H]

Going through puberty (if that is the age you are at) can be tricky, even if you do NOT have urges to crossdress.

When I first started I had no idea why I was attracted to wearing women's clothing, eventually, it became just sexual. Then, after I was done with puberty, sex is almost never involved.

Just, do what feels right. The why is important, but over time it will come. Think about if you invision yourself as a girl or as a boy wearing girls clothes.

~Emily

[Guest NatalieRene]

Personally I only feel like I'm cross dressing when I go out dressed like a guy playing the part. The cloths don't matter so much as the roles do.

I'm not sure how to help you though. I guess you need to start by reflecting how you see yourself and work from there.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Sweetie

You are naturally disassociating sexuality with your dressing up. This is very normal.

Don't get worried hon This is OK. Just go with it sweetie, it is all part of the journey.

Keep exploring! Each step is a new awareness.

HUGS

Brenda

[Petra Jane]

Lately my urge for crossdressing has increased. The thing is, I used to do it beause it aroused me. now sometimes i don't know why i do it.

I've been CD'ing for ahem years, more than I'd care to remember, and yes in the beginning it was certainly for sexual purposes, but nowadays, it's more a case of feeling relaxed and de-stressing after a bad week at work.

Currently I'm finding that I spend the weekend dressed. Friday evening comes and out comes my favourite outfit (See my Gallery if interested) and after an evening relaxing in full en femme, bedtime comes and into a nice satin nightie. Next morning, get my blouse, skirt and heels back on and enjoy my Saturday morning routine, okay, behind closed curtains, but spend as much time dressed before having to go shopping. Even then, only my bra, breastforms and outer clothing is removed. My tights and panties remain in place. Returning home afterwards, first chance I get my underwear goes back on and come Saturday evening, I'm very quickly back into full en femme mode.

Saturday night and back into nightie and spend the whole time asleep dressed in bra, panties, nightie and once again, on waking up Sunday, dressed good and early to have breakfast and prepare lunch. Being a Sunday, day of rest and so on, there is no need to get changed too soon or draw the curtains until I am good and ready. So, up to four hours Sunday morning can be spent really relaxed and de-stressed, reading, cleaning the house, surfing the internet whatever.

Finally, when I feel too guilty (!) I'll get changed out of my blouse and skirt and put a sweater and jeans on, and spend the rest of the afternoon, dreaming it's evening again before getting changed for the last few hours of the weekend.

Then, all being well, I'm good and relaxed for the early start on Monday and another week of work.

It's not sexual as such any more, but wow, do I feel relaxed afterwards and I don't think it's an issue of age either!

Don't worry, it's a natural progression, enjoy the sensations and chill out.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

PJ hit it on the head. Her progression through the weekend is an example of having a chance to express her femininity - plus enjoy the feel of a woman's way of dressing and expressing herself. Its kinda like - its what you want - and when you do what you want, you are sooooo satisfied!

I was married and had children around for a good part of my life. I was 'underground' (I use thst instead of 'in the closet') all my life, as I started dressing like my sisters, mother, aunts and grsandmother did when I was very young. I don't mean the style, I mean the way they were - happy in their own body and dressing in a wonderful female way - so different from the harsh reality of dressing as a boy.

I had a very erotic time for about 30 years of my almost 60 years of dressing - it was caused I think by the natural 'tesosterone poisoning' of my brain and body - but it faded - and it also wouldn't last when I was dressed, and I didn't understand that at first. If what I had was a sexual perversion , why did I dress when the sexual part wasn't there? As PJ says - because I relaxed - TOTALLY RELAXED - when I was able to express my femaleness. It was about gender - not about sex.

And think you may have figured this out, but unlike some here, I discovered I was NOT a crossdresser at all, but rather transsexual. But the experiences were so very similar - what we transsexual feel and what a non-transperson who crossdresses feels - it seems likely its just about the same thing. The slight differences I think is I started very young (age 8) and I was never episodic. I ALWAYS dressed when alone. I think also there may be a slight difference of dressing to express a feminine side and dressing to affirm a femaleness.

The biggest difference might be the horrible self-distructiveness I carried with me - because I wrongly thought I was never going to be a woman - being a woman was something I prayed for every night!

But the erotic element is there for transsexuals too. I discussed this in depth with my therapist. She said it isn't well understood about that erotic element for transpeople. It is probably that male body doing what a male body does. And she suggests we are in love with the ideal woman which is ourselves. We also discussed the fact that crossdressers seem to dress when the erotic part is gone. Again, not well undestood. She suggested it had to do with a feeling of security and peace, something women can have while men are subjected to terrible pressures and expectations by society.

WHEW

Long answer!

The short answer I think? We CDers and Trans are both similar in our need to be happy and content - as we are - regardless of what the world seemingly says we must be.

That is why both crossdressing and dressing to affirm femaleness (transpeople being themselves) is classified as GENDER DYSPHORIA

And although transsexuals do seemingly crossdress, there is a different dynamic. So being a crossdresser does not lead to transsexuality. We transsexual are born the way we are - and in a different way, so are drossdressers.

Lizzy

Oh oh oh - forgot - I think crossdressers have clothes that are more fun! I am pretty much a standard woman when dressed - I do see the public as I am pretty much full time - so I want to blend in. You crossdressing girls are usually in private - so you wear what pleases you - GRIN.

[Guest Penelope]

Nowadays my need to cross dress is most definitely disentangled from any sexual urges.

Penelope needs time to relax and be herself. She can't be hurried either. It takes at least an hour of doing something else while dressed before everyting 'tunes in' and she looks right.

Ms P.