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Told My Girlfriend :)


Guest erikka2046

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Guest erikka2046

Hey everyone! Sorry for haven't been posting for a while as I was so busy lately. Finally I did it and came out to my long-term girlfreind! Its been a week already and I try to gather my thoughts and what happend. I think this is the most difficulty thing to do in my life time but I did it :)

Its been nearly nine months since my transition and there are so many changes in me. My GF saw all the changes she's been puzzled and asked me many times what happened. I told her I like feminine stuff and just experienced with them although I'm kibn fof feminie even before my transition. For so many months I've been thinking about how to tell her and build-up all my courage. I had lengthy discussion with my psychologist and he told me I really have to handle this very carefully since no one will know how she may feel or react to this. I took his words serious and rethink the best way to tell her with less possible impact. After this months, she seems more acceptable of how I look in a more womanly way time and I think this may be nearly the right time to tell her.

The weekend before we went to a short trip for our Valentine's Day and this trip was really a catalyst to my coming out. We went to a restaurant for dinner and the server called me madam from the start till we finish. She was really kind of uneasy but I told her don't care about what people saying, I just try to tone it down a bit. The next morning we went to a shop for some yoga stuff and the girl said " Good morning ladies!" I was happy inside but I saw my GF's face was so confused and kind of shocked. I was so hurted to see her have to go throught this because of me and I thought I have to tell her sometime as soon as possible.

Last friday, that's the big day. We sat down after work and I know its the right time. She's been seeing all my changes, suffered and I have to tell her the truth and answer. I told her about gender identity issue, a medical conditon and all those stuff. I told her I have this GID problem and I do need some professional treatment. She kind of agree as she can see all my changes in the past few months. As expected, she cried and I cried and I had no idea what will happen next. I told her I love her so much and I cannot lie to her about this and have to tell her the truth and what I will become, its like I having cancer but have to tell her although I know it will be like dropping a bomb. She was kind of confused and asked should we broke-up and restart again after I become a woman, I told her I love her so much I really don't want to lose her and we do need each other since we''ve been together for twenty years. We talked for a while but I think both our minds are so messed up at that time, suddenly,maybe blessing from God, we realize the only thing we know its we cannot live without each other. She said maybe she's now having a relationship with a woman borned in a men's form or a woman act like a man for the past years. Finally I think I got her acceptance and I was so so so..... happy :) Unexpectedly, we even talked a bit further about should I come out to our friends, other people or how should she introduce me to other people..... but we comprimised just let people see the changes, take time and tell them later.

A week from now everything and life go normal as it used to be. I still try to be careful and not mentioning this too much as I know my GF may still need sometime for all this, its been a emotional roller-coaster for both of us. Yesterday, we were having lunch and we're chatting and she said her nails are too long and need to be clipped. We chatted a bit about nails and out of no where she said she's a kind of girl who won't spend too much time on her nails like "you girls (me and another of our girl friend and I spend lots of time to make my glossy clear coated nails looks nice)" ..... this really made me feel so happy as she start seeing me as a female. Last night we talked about my coming out to her a week ago. She said she think about the whole thing over and over, she finally understanding everything in me make sense to her now...like my behaviour, my thoughts, stuff I like....etc.

One think she told me last night its like a seal to her acceptance: " I am not worrying you're becoming a woman, I am just just worring if you become a woman you won't love me anymore.....". This really melted my heart and I said: "I'll love you forever no matter what happened, we need each other no matter what ahead of us". We both cried and my eyes are blurred........I think this is like the pass to continue my journey :)

I am so glad I did this and I have to thank everyone here. I think I cannot do this without all your support, thoughts, inspiration, information...... a million thanks to you all!

Love,

Erikka :)

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Erikka,

That is wonderful news!

I am so glad that things have worked out for you this well.

Just continue as you are slowly, step by step and be sure to bring her with you.

Your future is looking pretty good right now.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Donna Jean

Erikka....

Beautiful....

Coming out to a loved one is so difficult anyway...

And I think that you handled it well...

The problem with those of us that have a natal female partner or spouse is that they immediately wonder where your revelation leaves them...

Does that make them Lesbian? Will you like men? Will you leave?...Where will live..

It's very hard on them.

You did well and I think that if you take it slowly and keep her in the loop, everything has a real good chance of working out!

Good luck, Baby!

HUGGS!

Donna JEan

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  • Admin

Erikka, I am so very happy for you, hon. That is just wonderful news. I know how hard it is to come out to a loved one, and it sounds like your GF

is just a lovely, understanding and big-hearted woman. You are very lucky to have her in your life.

Like the others have said, take it slow, give her all the time she needs to get used to the idea, answer her questions as honestly as possible, and be

ready for a few bumps in the road. Even as supportive as my wife has been, she still comes up with an occasional comment or question that makes

me wonder how well she understands everything. It just takes patience, is all.

I wish you both all the luck in the world.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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Guest erikka2046

Thank you so much for all your kind words. I feel I can finally live freely without in the shadow anymore. I know this will be a life long journey for me and girlfriend, but I hope we can always be brave and have courage to face, overcome the bumps ahead of us.

Love & Hugs

Erikka :)

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