15 Weeks

[Guest NatashaJade]

Happy days, dear ones!

So I as I was letting a complete stranger attack my face with a laser gun (although it sometimes makes me think of the New You parlor in Logan's Run), I thought to myself that there was no way a year ago that I would have thought even for a moment that I would be on the road to womanhood. We never know where life is going to take us. We can predict our futures but rarely do those ideas of how things are going to go actually happen just the way we thought. Right now I am living in the moment, maybe planning a few weeks out at most, because I can do no more than that. If I try to guess where I'll be a year from now, I can't think for a moment that I'll be anywhere near the target. That being said, I am trying to learn to enjoy the now, moody cloudy days and all.

I was talking to my wife last night about my moods and she told me that I was moody before the hrt. The only difference now is that I don't get angry all the time and I am more prone to crying. Otherwise, I've always been as moody as a pregnant lady. Great! That's a load off. I suppose, thinking back on years of therapy, breakdowns, anti-depressive medication and whatnot, I wasn't always the happiest person around. I don't think I'm particularly unhappy right now. I'm simply more reactive and the news is not always good. When the news is good, I am more prone to smile and laugh.

So 15 weeks into the change. I was not expecting to fill out an A cup well. I was not expecting to develop hips. I was not expecting to see the beginnings of changes in my face. I was not expecting to see new growth on my forehead. I was not expecting to have such soft skin. I didn't even hope for any of these things so soon, at least in my realistic expectations and hopes. And, yet, there are all these changes.

There will be more to come. I am excited to see what happens and thrilled that it is happening and I am trying to enjoy the moment of it all because I only have these moments once. I am not impatiently waiting for things to happen as I impatiently waited to have my first prescription filled. Things will happen and time will go by. I write these diaries of my journey as a way of recording it, thinking about it and appreciating it. Not everyone who needs to do this gets to do this. I am fortunate in so many ways and I am thankful for the gifts I have been given, the people I have in my life and the opportunities that I have had the good sense to take.

If you are on this path right now, either in front of me or behind me, enjoy the little things. They only come once sometimes and then they are gone. If you have not yet started, my journey will not be yours, but it may be like yours. You can read all the words of all of us who are on this path and make predictions about how it will go for you, how you will feel or how you will change and perhaps, in some ways, you may be right. But don't be disappointed when it is different for you. We are all unique snowflakes.

Happy days, dear ones. Happy days.

luv

Gin

[Guest Donna Jean]

I'm loving it , Gin.....absolutely loving it!

It's like an on going story that you can't wait for the next installment.

I REALLY enjoy your updates...

Reading this makes me relive it all over again..Oh, the magic is not gone for me by any means, but the first realizations are so wondrous!

Keep it up Sweetheart!

Faithful reader...

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

Thank for the wonderful update, Gin. I'm glad you are able to revel in this new adventure, and that your wife is along for the ride. Its great to have

someone to share it with, isn't it?

I'm only ten weeks behind you in the journey, and your posts are an inspiration to me. Having all of these changes to look forward to makes my life,

at 56, an adventure that I could never have anticipated. In talking with my G.T. yesterday about how I see my future, when I was done she remarked

that I seemed very optimistic. That is exactly how I now feel. Instead of being ready for a life in retirement and boredom, I feel like I'm embarking

on a wholly new life, and see every new day as part of the adventure.

Please continue to share your stories. I love to read them.

Carolyn Marie