What A Help It Is Being Here... Almost

[Guest aDORAble]

Been on Laura's for only a couple weeks and have been bouncing all around the forums.

I don't think this is helping much but it's a great help to understand how complicated we humans are.

I was starting to be comfortable being XD but, when I found the posts about "Autogynephiliac", I started getting really upset. Not because I was going loony or anything but, simply because it put another perspective of self on myself.

Gawd! What a liberating site this is!

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Dora, there is much to read and learn on this site; however as you have pointed out most of it will help us learn more about ourselves and our condition. I understand all too well that questioning phase, the what am I, whats wrong with me, how do I fix it phase. I am sure you have heard this already but it cant be stated enough, find yourself a good gender therapist or failing that a nongender therapist who is comfortable being your guide on this complex path.

I have been on this site since the end of may last year and you know what, there are parts of this message board that even as a mod I don't feel comfortable in, or I dont yet have the emtional strength to face. If, emotionally, you are not strong enough to handle things on Autogynephilia nobody is forcing you to go into those areas.

You are so right that humans are complex, but we transsexual/transgendered are several orders of magnitude more complex than any cisgendered person can possibly immagine. Give this site a good chance before you decide if you are going to stay or go, many people dont post much and some dont answer certain kinds of posts because they may not feel that they have anything to add, or they dont feel comfortable in the topic area. Laurs's is so much more than the mere some of its parts, every one has somthing to bring to the table and every opinion is valued and respected.

The loving people here guided me through the dark days of my transition with open arms, hearts and minds. I have matured here, from someone who was scared and angry to a woman who knows where she is going and what she needs to do to get there.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Dora.....

Well, I guess that it's a success, then....we've made you think....

Lots of people come here with one thing on their mind only to realize something much deeper...

We have cross dressers that realized that they are actually MTF...

This site does seem to open people up to things that they hadn't figured for themselves...

Joanna hit it, though.....a good therapist will work wonders on helping you find your place in all of this....

I hope that you're finding this site eye opening!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Sally]

Hey Dora,

The best thing that you can do now is to find a good therapist who specializes in this area and they will be able to help you sort through your feelings so that you can find the spot that is just right for you.

The Gender Train is nothing like an express - it has thousands of stops and one is just right for you.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest ChloëC]

When I first explored what I felt I was when I had some understanding of it (as a teen. As a child it didn't matter, because I was what I was - a deep thought I'll get back to), I thought that the label 'homosexual' was the only one that applied to me. It was either hetero or not. Then I started reading some more and looking around me and thought that the label 'transvestite' must be me, but with some hs and/or ts tendencies, and those ts feelings varied from very strong to almost not at all. Reading some more and I saw that there were she-males and drag queens, and I wondered if that was where I belonged, and then I found cross-dressers. Ok, that must be it, and for a long time, I have felt that I have been hovering somewhere between cd and ts.

Before I came here I had heard of autogynephelia, but I wasn't sure what it was, exactly. And for a few (and only a few) moments as I read about it, and got off site and read more, I thought, 'uh, maybe this is it' or maybe not. And I had to really think long and hard and as compelling as that siren song of autogynephilia seemed to be (and it is pretty intense stuff!), there was just something not quite right about it. And I had to think long and hard and see if there was something in me (bias, misunderstanding, denial???), or something about it, that just...didn't.quite.ring.true.

Now, this is all personal, and in no way applies to others, as each has to work it through his or her self, but I'm now fairly comfortable with the 'transgender' label. Not that I think labels are really that good, but with explanation and expansion, it's something I'm now feeling right about.

And, anyway in anywhere from 20-50 years, most the labels we have now will be outdated and antiquated, so in that sense as well as what I alluded to about my childhood, I am what I am. And while there are definitely events in my past that lots of well-trained analysts may try to latch onto and imply they know more than I, I know that before all of those events, I had a fairly elaborate and understood desire. And it's never disappeared, even when I really tried forcing a gender appearing mode onto myself, I always knew that deep down, my desires were there.

Not a habit, not an environment response, but the essence of me.

Dora, it's great that you're exploring and thinking and wondering about all this, because it certainly can be confusing. And even in my comfortableness, I can still feel a little confusion, but I attribute that to the fact that I'm human, with all attendent fears and hopes, and the additional ones being gender dysphoric brings along. It's certainly an interesting life, and I'm glad I found Laura's, which has so much good information and supportive people in one spot. Makes it just a little easier, and that's a good thing.

Hugs

Chloë

[Guest Amanda joan]

Dora the adorable,

I am glad you are here and reading. It can be stunning when you read something and at first you say " that we be an aweful way to be" and then you say "I think I mite be that". Now what do you do?

Take a deep breath!!!!

You are going to be fine. There are many difinitions on what some of the Transgender community could be. You need to work this out for yourself and like the others have said you need a Gender Therapist. I think mine in worth her weight in gold. I also want you to think about this; labels are fine for jeans, shirts and shoes but, you don't need one. A label will not change who you are. A label can throw you off track if you pick the wrong one. It could do more damage than good. You are more likely some combination of many different things. I am sure you are unique and wonderful. You may also be tall, fair skinned and good at sports does that mean you should make it your goal to be on the Olympic Bobsled team, I don't think so.

So where was I ?

Oh yes you are who you are. That is not going to change. If you do decide to make changes in your life they will not cure all of the discomforts in this life or solve all of your problems. This path that we are on is in conflict with the world that we live in. You will find that something as silly as wearing the other genders clothes can make people go crazy. It will make them question their own sense of what is male and what is female. Some will get angry and want to yell at you and keep you out of there circle of friends. I don't know who it was that declaired that their are only two genders and you have to be either on this side or that side, no one can linger in the space in between. Was this voted on? Did some King decree that this is the way it should be. I do not recall any lesson in school about the gender classification balltes. Their were no amendments to the constitution that made these claims. Even the Bible tells stories about people who are neither male of female.

I am sorry that is what we call a rant. My emotions can get the better of me. It could be the Estrogen I am taking or that I suffer from Gender Dismorphia. I am only suffering from other peoples fears and lack of understanding.

You can find out more about yourself posting and chating than you can from reading anymore than you have already. It will be there, you can go back to it in a few weeks. I want you to know that I think you are normal. I think you have a great sense of humor. I think you are smart and compassionate. I don't think you should change a thing about who you are. I just hope that you can find peace within yourself. That is what you can find help with here.

Peace & Love Amanda

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Dora

As you read the forums, the topic and the replies. As you post replies and topics yourself. You will find yourself learning more and understanding more about yourself than you ever could have realized on your own.

Stick around hon, and grow to new heights.

Love

Brenda

[Guest viv]

Theres lots of good advice here Hun. I feel Laura"s

gives us the tools which is the shared knowledge of

this huge family to allow us take this journey . For

me its an Encyclopedia , the sum being bigger than

its component parts , take whats on offer here,and

together with a GT you will find your answers .We

are now your extended family , here for you . viv

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Sometimes I feel we people here at Laura'sknow more about our gender dysphoria than do the experts! BUT - you do need a therapist somewhere on the road to finding yourself. Great posts here to your TOPIC!

I want to caution you though - my wife watches those stupid medical shows! Every diagnosis (on TV) become the start of imaginary symptoms!

What you read here - though it 'could' identify your condition, is not conclusive - GRIN!

You are what you are and that is perfectly fine. A gender trained therapist is best suited to help you discover yourself.

Lizzy