Pet Peeve

[Guest Lynnx]

gender is man or woman, girl or boy, or androgenous, or any self identifying gender term.

sex is female, male, or intersex.

i hate when people say "female" like it means "woman". they're two differ things. If your talking about the body use sex terms. If you're a talking about who you are inside use gender terms. If you've successfully changed your body so it "matches" your gender you can call your sex the matching sex, but don't speak like gender and sex are the same thing.

I'm a female boy. And that's the misunderstanding that got me into this mess in the first place.

[stepping off soap box]

[Guest April63]

I personally like to use "gender" in all cases. I feel "sex" has more of a sexual connotation, so I don't really like to use it.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I agree with Lynnx, although, like April, I feel 'gender' is a less controversial word. It is further complicated by the use of transsexual as interchangable with transgender. And some use Gender Reassignment surgery (GRS) in the place of Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS).

I am a woman, have always been a woman, always will be a woman. I was born with a mindset of a woman. It contrasts with my body's sexual parts - specifically my genitalia.

I has been going on a thousand years. A person is born, and in one second after separation from the mother's body, the doctor, the midwife, the taxi-driver - whatever - looks between that persons legs and declares it's a girl! or it's a boy!

The proper announcement would be something like "this baby appears to have male genitalia", or "appears to have female genitalia." Until the mindset and possibly even the genetic information is processed, the assigned sex at birth should be temporary!

HA!

So I am transsexual - I will alter my primary sexual characteristics. I am not really transgender, as I know my gender and I won't change that. I really cannot change my mindset, my being, my soul!

So there it is?

My opinion

Lizzy

[Guest SusanKG]

I guess I mostly agree - I believe I am undergoing a gender change. I look at as "I am a gender; I have sex." Sometimes!

SusanKG

[Guest Katrina_Carter]

I agree with you a bit, for example transsexual versus transgender. Using the word sex gives people the idea it is about sex which to them means it is a sexual fetish. Using the word gender helps them understand it isn't about sexuality.

As for the female woman thing, in my own personal opinion I think female is very clinical and describes gender where as woman is more closer in my mind to a sexual term than female would be. I don't see either of them in terms of sex though. I think I may see what your getting at though and can see where female/male may be less identified as gender than woman/man.

[Sally]

I have always hated labels and I particularly dislike all of the ones now assigned to me Transsexual carries a connotation of depravity to the extremely uninformed and quite often militant masses - transgender implies that my gender is not in alignment - it is I am a woman - always have been only physically I don't look like it - I am working on that but the whole Trans thing stays with you - I am a person but to the morons who like to beat people who aren't exactly like them I am trans and a target of their fear and ignorance driven hatred.

I am so tired of labels - I don't care if you are male or female, both or neither, black or white even Martian if you are not a cannibal with your mouth watering over my fat body I can be your friend and I would like to be - but so often people allow labels to stop them.

I used to be a bit homophobic for fear of being thought of as a homosexual if I was friends with one - that changed for me when I was made the manager of a store that was staffed entirely by gays and lesbians - they were good workers, nice people - that was the key, they were people and I came to notice this - the barriers came down, I made friends with them - I still was pretty much asexual, myself but I had my own issues - we went to dinner after work just like I always did with my other employees - I have learned after many years that if you don't use labels to keep us separated you will meet so many amazing people and your world will be larger and much more wonderful.

Love ya,

Sally, just Sally, the only label that I like

[Guest Lynnx]

wow. Lizzy is the only one who really gets me:

I has been going on a thousand years. A person is born, and in one second after separation from the mother's body, the doctor, the midwife, the taxi-driver - whatever - looks between that persons legs and declares it's a girl! or it's a boy!

The proper announcement would be something like "this baby appears to have male genitalia", or "appears to have female genitalia." Until the mindset and possibly even the genetic information is processed, the assigned sex at birth should be temporary!

This is the source of all my problems. This is why my heads screwed up. They couldn't ask me my gender when i was a baby so they couldn't couldn't call me BOY or GIRL, all they could say is if i was MALE or FEMALE.

male or female does not say anything about gender...it is a physical body term.

Thanks Lizzy. I wasn't even thinking about transsexual vs transgender, but your right! and also too about the connotations of transSEXUAL.

Unfortunately we need labels to be able to talk. "Chair" is a label. Every word out of our mouth is a label.

[Guest Soph]

I mentioned this in another topic on here, but I don't care to go look for it:

You all want gender identity, not gender. Gender is merely the social expectations assigned to someone based on what they believe their sex to be, and is a purely anthropological term. As such, we truly are transgender, since we are indeed changing gender (but not gender identity).

Of course, I sometimes shorten gender identity to just gender for simplicity.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Yeah........

This has always been a sticking point....I can't think of anything else that has so many mis-used labels....

Basic....I am and always have been "female" That is my gender...that will never change...

The "Sex" will change to fit the gender.....

Pretty simple. (I thought)

So, no, I am not changing my gender...my gender is a constant!

Transsexual?..Well, clinically correct, but, I don't like the perceptions that the general public derive from that..

Transgender seems less threatening to them...and avoids the usage of the word "SEX" that to most people connotates the physical act rather that a point of reference!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest Lynnx]

GAWD......... i didn't know we all had different definitions for the same words. No wonder we can't communicate.