I Need A Name

[Guest Katrina_Carter]

Ok shortening the story by leaving out how we got onto this subject, I feel bad cause I think I caught my therapist off guard and made him feel bad. I got him onto the track of discussing my GID. I told him I didn't care about HRT anymore, that I was starting with or without it. He said good, that I needed to. He also said in about 90 days I should be on it, he wants to make sure there isn't any problems with the buspar and welbutran he has me on. He then asked if I had picked out a name yet.

To be honest in all of this, I have yet to even pick out a name. My real name is Carter, and even years ago before I fully accepted who I was or told my family and started the transition I had already been thinking of names. Which is odd, since I hadn't accepted that I was transgendered but I was still trying to fit female names onto myself, but anyway... Katrina is the closest I have found to one that fits, it would just be Kat though. I tried it out here to see how well it would work and honestly it doesn't seem to fit like it should. I thought about keeping Carter since it can be used as a gender neutral name, but I'm not sure if it is gender neutral enough. A nickname maybe, but a real name for a woman?

A name is something you carry with you usually for the rest of your life. It is supposed to describe you, to fit you like a set of tailored clothing. The right name should should whisper to you that it's the right one like it was put on this earth for you and only you. So I want to know, how did everyone here come across their match for a name? Were you picky about it? Did you fall in love with it at first sight, or did it grow on you? What is the feeling when you find that one special name that you know is who you are and who you will be?

[Guest Penelope]

A difficult one, Kat, as you describe in your third paragraph. Parents agonise about such things for ages for their unborn and even newborn children. In a way, you are the parent to your future self.

I chose a 'nomme de plume' for this site based on an incident in my childhood (described in the introductions forum if you've nothing better to read). I've grown quite attached to it, though, and don't feel any need to change. It is in no way similar to my birth name.

Your name sent actually sent my butterfly mind to thinking about the poem by T.S. Elliot, 'On the Naming of Cats'. (Copyright Messrs. Faber and Faber)

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,

It isn't just one of your holiday games;

You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter

When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,

Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,

Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--

All of them sensible everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,

Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:

Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--

But all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,

A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,

Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,

Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,

Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,

Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-

Names that never belong to more than one cat.

But above and beyond there's still one name left over,

And that is the name that you never will guess;

The name that no human research can discover--

But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.

When you notice a cat in profound meditation,

The reason, I tell you, is always the same:

His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation

Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:

His ineffable effable

Effanineffable

Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

I hope the above is of some relevance.

I suggest you keep 'Kat' as your working title until you find something that resonates more closely with you.

All the best.

Penelope

[Sally]

I never agonized about a name.

I had thought that my parents worked so hard to find a good, strong masculine name for their son and look how badly they missed - so I hadn't decided on one and as I was signing up for a female Email address to begin my research into the transgendered community and when they asked for a name I typed Sally - I had never even considered it as a possibility, it just came to me in an instant - no thought, just type it and go on, my middle name is one that has just always been around me but I did not want it as my first name.

Maybe like in love the harder you try the more it eludes you - relax, don't think about ir and one will come to you and it will be perfect.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest SuperKali]

I selected my new first and middle name just randomly when I was 15 which was 4 years before I even knew what transgendered was. Someone online asked for my name and I said it. It was perfect and I still love it.

I hope you find a na.e you love soon.

[Guest Girl Emily]

I recently read a book "freakonomics" and they had a chapter on how popular names move from the upper class to the middle, and ending with the poor. As I read the lists and thought back to when my son was born and the names I liked then. Emily fits me and my socioeconomic position at birth and taking into consideration my parents early trend setting choice of my male name Brandon. It just feels right, almost like the real me was named Emily forty years ago

In the conversations I have with myself the male and female voice. a little girl a little girl named Emily is telling Brandon what to do. She is a little girl with wisdom beyond her years. I always see her with a book. She must have spent years reading, escaping to an imaginary land safe from the world and its cruelty. As Brandon lived a life without substance. Marking time until his life totally collapsed.

Well that how I relate to my names

[Guest KellyKat]

HI Kat:

Must say like the name - but it fits me! lol I couldn't think of anything good for you. It's such a personal choice anyway.

My name was already fit. I feel like a Kelly in girl or guy mode. Have thought about changing it but I like it.

Maybe this site can help you though. http://www.behindthename.com/

It's pretty neat telling the etymology of first names. It has random name generators that let you choose your gender, nationality, or theme. Thousands of names from ancient to goth. Hope this can be of help.

Luv Kat

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Katrina

I am sure that many people have different experiences regarding names. For me, my name found me and when I saw it, it rang loud and clear throughout my soul.

There is no other name for me

Brenda

OK there is a whole lot of nicknames... bernii, Brenii, Ren, Renda, Bren, Bren-Bren, Renii, Renda.

Brenda is my real name

HUGS

[Guest Katrina_Carter]

Still thinking on it, obviously I still have a while yet. Seeing therapist, but not even on HRT yet. Thank you for the advice everyone by the way

[Guest UnicornGiggles]

I changed my name several years ago, but I was boring and simply took my middle name. However, it is one that is a feminised version of a masculine name, so if I do transition - it's a simple act of dropping one letter.

The only advice I can offer you is what I do for the characters in my stories. First of all, is there a particular background you'd like for a name? English, Celtic, Polish, French, Biblical? Would you like your name to mean something in particular? Do you want a combination of both? Do you want a name that has a historical attachment to it?

These are probably all things you've considered but they're definitely worth exploring if you want a deep meaning for your name. Of course, you could just choose something cool or cute.

Just remember that you'll have to live with it for a while