The Future

[Guest Ryles_D]

It's hard to be optimistic about the future. Even if I got my ideal body- I would still have to deal with explaining who and what I am to people if I ever have any semblance of hope to be treated as I am. Most people have the luxury of having their gender correctly identified by complete strangers, I get the luxury of explaining to complete strangers that I'm a thorn in the side of everything anyone has ever thought about gender roles. I have the luxury of getting stared at by passersby because they can't happily label me as one or the other. Even if I got an accepting social group, I imagine I'd still hve to go back into the closet (but which closet?!) for work. If I ever have kids, I'll have to deal with figuring out what they should call me, explaining to people my relationship with them and how they don't have a mom/dad and face the downpour of horror and abuse from a society who's convinced that people like me are toxic to young children even in small doses.

It feels like I don't belong in this or any society and never will. I can't help but wonder what the point of it all is when my choices are "live a lie" or "be branded a freak and deal with ignorance and intolerance forever". It feels hopeless, and I don't know how to feel otherwise.

[Guest swee'pea]

Dear Ryles,

<<hug>>

I'm sorry to hear that you are having these problems.

You belong just as much as any one does.

I try and think of gender as a spectrum, Adam is on one end and Eve on the other, and everyone since then is somewhere in between and no two are in the same spot.

Just try and accept yourself , and then most people will accept you for who you are.

Those that will not, don't deserve to be in your life.

Take care swee'heart .

vanna

[Guest Elizabeth K]

NO NO NO

It is very likely that if you decide to transition you will be able to be seen totally in your target gender. So many chose to go stealth (never tell they haven't always been like they are).

And the future is unpredictable, and who knows, someday it might be cool to be transgendered!

We can dream, right?

LIZZY

[Guest Ryles_D]

It is very likely that if you decide to transition you will be able to be seen totally in your target gender. So many chose to go stealth (never tell they haven't always been like they are).

I think it's a bit hard to go stealth as something that socially and legally doesn't exist. If I were to transition as male, I'm pretty sure I'd be succesful- testosterone is powerful stuff and all that- but that'd still be going back into another closet. But it's kind of impossible to transition to neither with the current situation. :/

And the future is unpredictable, and who knows, someday it might be cool to be transgendered!

Isn't it trendy to be bisexual nowadays? I'm sure it'll be cool to be transgendered soon, too.

[Guest scooby]

hi Ryles

yes-it is a bit hard to go stealth as someone that socially/legally dont exist[smile]-

and i can see exactly what youre saying when you say-"but that would be going back into another closet"!

its took a long time to get here but-im both male and female-mostly male-and i dont feel that im male sometimes or female othertimes-

im both all the time!

i look exactly what i am-and i have a male/female face-in fact-i "pass"-for me!!

origannly-i had difficulty with this[within myself]-but these days-i find it freeing to let myself be me!

as for others-yes-i do get stared at sometimes-but how i look at it is-theres many reasons why others stare at others-often really stupid reasons-

if you walked down the street with bright orange shoes on-people stare!

and sometimes also-if someone stares-its not nessicerrily for a bad reason!

these days-i dont bother explaining myself to others-i look self explanitry really-and also-after spending 47 years to get here-

i dont feel i need to explain myself to anyone-what you see is what you get!

heres the good bit-at first[when people meet me ect]-people think its strange-but as im a friendly person with a sense of humour-this seems to over ride it!

heres the bad bit-i have a male name[legally]but when i have to sign forms ect-i refuse to call myself mr or ms ect-this is difficult-but i havent had no major problem yet with this!

i call myself a parent and my children call me by my name-if others dont like this-tough-

its more inportant to be being the best parent you can-

these days-theres lots of diffrent familys about-and as long as i can go to bed at night knowing ive done my best today-i dont care what my title is-

my children are much more bothered about what am i doing with them today than what my name is!

as long as im running about adventure playgrounds with the youngest-and going out and playing pool ect with the oldest-everyones happy!

its not all sparkly though-sometimes things is difficult-but thats life!

id much rather things be a bit difficult sometimes but be me-than not at all!

i hope this helps Ryles-good luck!

scooby x

[Guest Ryles_D]

its took a long time to get here but-im both male and female-mostly male-and i dont feel that im male sometimes or female othertimes-

im both all the time!

i look exactly what i am-and i have a male/female face-in fact-i "pass"-for me!!

origannly-i had difficulty with this[within myself]-but these days-i find it freeing to let myself be me!

It's good to hear that that is possible. It seems so impossible to look at all androgynous, and I'm not really sure how I can get there, although hopefully I can. Thank you for your post it was definitely helpful. It's good to hear that you can find a way to pass as yourself, even when outside the gender binary.

[Guest Pica Pica]

As for the future, maybe people like yourself are the future.

[Guest Evan_J]

As for the future, maybe people like yourself are the future.

I think it was always a "dream" really; a world where boxes, stereotypes, oppression into those boxes , and prejudices got erradicated. But I hung out with the whole punk /alternative types and it was the 80's so maybe everybody wasn't dreaming it