Explanation

[Guest lvmyftm]

My daughter is 3. She has recently taken an interest in just about every surgical scar on me. She has yet to see my boyfriend without his shirt on, but I know that is only a matter of time, esp with the weather getting better. I figured I should be prepared for when she asks about his scars from his top surgery. My mom had a mass removed from her neck a couple of months ago. So, I was thinking that when she asked we could tell her that he had a couple of masses that the doctor removed to make him more comfortable. That is pretty close to what she was told when grandma had surgery. Does that sound ok? I think she will get it and not ask further questions, just not sure if that is an ok answer from a tg person's prespective. I haven't run all this by my boyfriend yet, figured I would ask all of you first. I am rather paranoid about offending him, even though he doesn't seem to get offended easily.

Thanks

[Carolyn Marie]

I think your idea is very sound. At 3 years old, she isn't ready for, and doesn't need, a more complicated explanation than that.

Later in life, if she is still wondering, you can provide a more detailed answer.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Jean Davis]

I'll have to agree with Carolyn here, that sound good.

Also about asking your boyfriend, just ask politely and with respect and I'm sure that he'll have no problems with answering any questions you have. Most of us understand that people that are close to us have questions and need some answers, your questions probably won't offend him at all.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Lynnx]

My daughter is 3. She has recently taken an interest in just about every surgical scar on me. She has yet to see my boyfriend without his shirt on, but I know that is only a matter of time, esp with the weather getting better. I figured I should be prepared for when she asks about his scars from his top surgery. My mom had a mass removed from her neck a couple of months ago. So, I was thinking that when she asked we could tell her that he had a couple of masses that the doctor removed to make him more comfortable. That is pretty close to what she was told when grandma had surgery. Does that sound ok? I think she will get it and not ask further questions, just not sure if that is an ok answer from a tg person's prespective. I haven't run all this by my boyfriend yet, figured I would ask all of you first. I am rather paranoid about offending him, even though he doesn't seem to get offended easily.

Thanks

Yeah, i think that would be a good answer. kinda vague, but not a lie. See little kids can handle the whole truth. Everythings is new to them, and what you tell them is taken to be just normal. But they don't know that grownups can't handle the whole truth, and when they are told something, they don't understand that they can't tell everyone. So if you tell her something, it's going to be repeated in public.

[Sally]

It seems like a good answer but please do not be afraid to ask your boyfriend - tell him that you have some questions and if he would rather not answer that you can go online to find the answers.

I think that he would prefer to tell you himself, in his own words - I would.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest lvmyftm]

I'll have to agree with Carolyn here, that sound good.

Also about asking your boyfriend, just ask politely and with respect and I'm sure that he'll have no problems with answering any questions you have. Most of us understand that people that are close to us have questions and need some answers, your questions probably won't offend him at all.

LUV

Jean

He is very good about answering any questions that I have. He always has been even when we were just friends. Aside from any lower surgery he may decide to have a some point he is basicly done transitioning. For the most part the only questions that remain have to do with bedroom activities and functional language that might differ from a factory model man.

I dont think I have ever really offended him, but I always worry about that when asking personal questions relating to him being trans. I know the hell he has been through to get to where he is now and I dont want to be the one to remind him of being trans. I mean, he is trans but doesnt really ID as such anymore. If that makes any sense.

[Guest lvmyftm]

Yeah, i think that would be a good answer. kinda vague, but not a lie. See little kids can handle the whole truth. Everythings is new to them, and what you tell them is taken to be just normal. But they don't know that grownups can't handle the whole truth, and when they are told something, they don't understand that they can't tell everyone. So if you tell her something, it's going to be repeated in public.

Not sure why she would ever need to know more. Well, unless she turns out to be trans (which I highly doubt but I guess is possible). He transititioned before she was born so she has never know him as anything but male.

[Guest lvmyftm]

It seems like a good answer but please do not be afraid to ask your boyfriend - tell him that you have some questions and if he would rather not answer that you can go online to find the answers.

I think that he would prefer to tell you himself, in his own words - I would.

Love ya,

Sally

He has always been very good about answering questions....just havent had a chance to run this by him yet. Told him I had an idea of how to explain the scars to her that I wanted to run by him but that it was too long for a txt message and then havent talked about it since then. But we will. Just wanted some opinions in the meantime.

[Guest Katrina Reann]

I too think that is a great answer and it is something she will be able to relate to and understand. At their age we have to keep it simple and to go into detail would probably be way to confusing her.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hon,

At three, I doubt she would understand anything other than your boyfriend had a boo boo. Kids accept very simple answers in a language they relate to.

Brenda

[Guest lvmyftm]

Hon,

At three, I doubt she would understand anything other than your boyfriend had a boo boo. Kids accept very simple answers in a language they relate to.

Brenda

If she was an avg 3 year old I would agree with you....but she isnt! She wants the who what when where why and how for EVERYTHING! The kid is very into details.