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Guest Elizabeth K

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Guest Elizabeth K

Lizzy is pondering the condition of the world -LOOK OUT

Well, I just had an idea this morning about relationships that I would like to open for discussion. I am of course from the dinosaur world that existed before computers and before internet connections. There is even a movie "You've Got Mail" on the subject of people connecting on line and falling for each other just because there is just that something 'special.'

But we don't know what a persom looks like on the internet usually. Even with avatars and photos available, which is not always the case, we can actually fall in love with someone in an emotional, non-physical way.

THIS IS BRAND NEW!

Why is it significant? My theory. In olden days, people usually had a physical attraction to each other FIRST - "across a crowned room" type thing. A thing that when introduced - BAM! Instant chemistry - even before the first few sentences were exchanged. Your sister has a slumber party - one girl stands out and you gotta know who she is. Your brother brings home a few guys to watch a ballgame - one guy just makes you weak in the knees - you grill your brother on this person. You meet someone in a college study group - wow. A physical attraction can be the start of perhaps a lifetine association!

Not so with the internet.

When you are gender dysphoric, transsexual or androgynous or something... you can hookup with someone who really gets to know you well, before you finally meet.

So if you establish a connection of love and affection through the internet - based upon intellect, mindset, attitudes and shared beliefs and interests. If this is the base, not physical attarction - IF LATER YOU FIND YOU ARE HAVING TO TRANSITION - wouldn't it be better accepted?

I mean, they fell in love with you first, your physical attributes secondly - wouldn't they not care so much about gender?

Maybe a change for the future? Something a result of internet meeting and dating?

JUST A THOUGHT

Lizzy

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Lizzy,

It always seemed to me that the emotional and intellectual connection should override the physical and if that were true there would never be a split up between a transsexual and their spouse but my theory falls apart on closer inspection.

It seems that no matter how much we may think that love is based on everything else - history shows us quite a different story.

Add in their self image going from straight to gay or gay to straight in the perception of everyone else.

I would love to think that their was someone out there who could overlook my physical appearance and just love me but I don't hold out a lot of hope because this world places it's emphasis on the superficial and monetary.

I like the idea - it is quite romantic.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest praisedbeherhooves

Lizzy, that's a sweet idea, but most of the people who I contacted online in order to flirt I picked because I saw their picture and thought they were hot. So, I think that doesn't quite work, at least for teenage boys. Perhaps it works for older people.

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Guest Donna Jean

Heck Yeah!

Sure it does...all of the time....

Well, yes it is a romantic notion....falling in love, sight unseen...

What are we? We exist as our essence, our being....

That's why people come back from war and terrible accidents, disfigured, and their loved ones still love them...

Why?

Because they are still themselves!

I agree that in today's society, looks count for a lot, but, it's so superficial....Looks don't last...love does.

Can someone fall in love online?

Well, that's where you can get to the grist of the matter...

You have no other influences............looks, touch, those are out of the equation.

Online is purely intellect, the other person's essence....yeah, you can lie to the other person and embellish online...

But, if two people are honest and up front with each other, why couldn't they fall in love?

Lizzy, like you say...in eye to eye meetings it's obviously based first on gender and it develops from there..

On line one could cross the gender barrier first and love someone whatever the case..

Sally, Honey...

It seems that no matter how much we may think that love is based on everything else - history shows us quite a different story.

History is being made every day...

Just look at years past and the "Pen Pal"...

People would trade letters through the mail for years and one day end up meeting and getting married...they were already "In love" from the letters...

I am a believer that people can certainly fall in love online

There are so many types and levels of love in this world...

Why not online, too?

Huggs......

Donna Jean

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Guest Katrina Reann

The thing about internet relationships is that you never know if the other person is being honest about themselves or for that matter if even the pic they have is of themselves. I have been in a few internet relationships. Three to be exact. What I have found out upon meeting each one of them in person is that you only get to know these people by what they share with you. I got starry eyed by the person they presented on the net and by phone. But after I got to know them in person I seen what they didn't share. One womans pic of herself was a younger picture and she looked nothing like it when I met her. So in person there was no physical attraction. Another ones persona was nothing like it was over the phone and net. And the third one was just not mature enough for a relationship (although) she was in her 30's, but on the internet and phone it was completely different. All of these shattered my heart and it took a long time for me to put the pieces back together again. I seriously thought I loved these women when in fact I knew nothing about them until I met them and spent time with them in person.

So for me the internet is a great place to meet friends but be careful when it comes to opening your heart up to love on it.

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Guest KellyKat

Love is a fickle beast. Where and when it happens is often beyond us mere mortals. Whether it starts from that hopelessly romantic love at first sight, or if it's cultivated from a long distance correspondence. We might work at it, we might be lucky in it, but none no when or where it may find us. I myself have done the online thing - to mixed results. Then again I've had mixed results from romantic chance encounters as well. Therefore I can't see the online meeting ever being a replacement for the good 'ole weak in the knees syndrome, just another viable medium. There's nothing wrong with it persay... I just don't want to think that is the only... or even the best way to look for love. Rather think of it as another tool in the arsenal. I believe that we need to be open and responsive for love - look for it in all the familiar places. But ready for it to hit you in the back of the head when you're not looking... and maybe be willing to take a blind leap once in awhile. Who knows when we might soar? ;)

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Guest Katrina Reann
Love is a fickle beast. Where and when it happens is often beyond us mere mortals. Whether it starts from that hopelessly romantic love at first sight, or if it's cultivated from a long distance correspondence. We might work at it, we might be lucky in it, but none no when or where it may find us. I myself have done the online thing - to mixed results. Then again I've had mixed results from romantic chance encounters as well. Therefore I can't see the online meeting ever being a replacement for the good 'ole weak in the knees syndrome, just another viable medium. There's nothing wrong with it persay... I just don't want to think that is the only... or even the best way to look for love. Rather think of it as another tool in the arsenal. I believe that we need to be open and responsive for love - look for it in all the familiar places. But ready for it to hit you in the back of the head when you're not looking... and maybe be willing to take a blind leap once in awhile. Who knows when we might soar? ;)

Very well put Kelly. And I agree with you that love will find you when you are not looking for it and it found me when I was about to give up on it due to the failed relationship I was in at the time.

And just to clarify a little of what I said in my prior post. I am not saying love cannot be found on the internet because it can and it has. In a strange way the internet did lead me to the love of my life. I went to meet one of those gals I talked about and when it didn't work out and I was about to give up hope the woman I married walked into her very home and love smacked me in the back of the head, front of the head and shouted, "Hey Bozo!! Here I am, marry me!" lol. So when Kelly says you never know when or how love will present itself and deliver that special someone to you.

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