It's All In Your Perception.. Being Trans

[Guest My_Genesis]

I've been thinking, we tend to think about and tell other people that our being trans is like being born in the wrong body, feeling trapped in a body that isn't your own, being a girl in a boy's body or vice versa, etc. But that can really bum us out. I've realised that, if we think of it more like we were born as the right gender, but with birth defects, somehow that makes me feel a lot better about it. Maybe because then it sounds more like you weren't born "wrong"? I dunno. But I keep telling myself I wasn't born in the wrong body, I was just born a guy with birth defects (which is also kinda true, and for all I know I could be intersexed which makes it literally true...) and somehow that doesn't get me all bummed out like the thought of "being born into the body of the wrong sex" does.

Anyone feel the same way?

[Guest viv]

Hi Hun ,,,,Mmmmm,,food for thought . As long as I get to the man

with the scalpels Im cool ..Birth defect ??? sounds ok ,,,luv,viv

[Guest Ryles_D]

I was just born a guy with birth defects (which is also kinda true, and for all I know I could be intersexed which makes it literally true...)

Intersexed people generally take umbrage with the idea that they were born defective. Being intersexed isn't a birth defect- it's just being born in a body that's slightly different than the societal view of "normal". Saying Intersexed people are defective supports the non-consensual surgeries and overall discrimination they're subjected to. Both of which are things we shouldn't be supporting.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

My therapist predicts that is what will be discovered eventually - we transpeople are victims of a set of conditions and defects that we have no control over. Intersexed have that - but are more obviously dual in body - my therapist says TS are like that too - and the real causes will be found. It will be as natural as having any other birth defect corrected, to put us right if we so chose. If we chose to stay as we are - that would be justifiable also.

No stigma!

My goodness

Lizzy

[Carolyn Marie]

"Birth defect" is certainly a more palatable term with the general public. However, the GP might be skeptical because they are used to

birth defects that you can see.

Whether the trans-community would go for it I wouldn't care to speculate.

What society calls us, or we call ourselves, doesn't seem nearly as important as the outcome - being able to transition and live as

our true selves without stigma, prejudice and fear. Whatever gets us to that goal is fine by me.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

That's what I've been telling people for years, that I'm a woman who's getting her birth defects fixed. I have been trying for three and a half years to get my doctors to do the test to see if I am xx xy xxy whatever the possible combinations but even though I have insurance I can get a doctor to do the test because of the cost. If I were to find an abnormality it would justify all of this and maybe get people off my back. I do firmly believe that we are inter-sexed and we have a right to a medical repair of our bodies.

Take Care

Charlene Leona

[Guest Evan_J]

Opinion: I think its because when you say "i was born in the wrong body" you somewhat subliminally are re-registering "I was born in [disturbing type] body." And do you really want to hear about that freaking wrong body?

[Guest Donna Jean]

I'm eagerly awaiting the day that medical science finds the "Trans" gene/virus/bacteria/bugg...

Then people across the board will say in unison "AH HA!"

It's not a life style choice and all of the rationalizing stops...No more explaining the "Wrong body/birth defect" routine....

We'll able to just say...

"Oh, my mom had the 12.67N56.22 Virus!"

And everyone will say....

"You poor thing!"

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi MyGen

The most important thing here is what makes you feel OK about everything and yourself. Having that peace of mind is very important. I am glad that you have a thought process that works for you.

For me... I prefer to say that I just need some adjustments

HUGS

Brenda

[Guest My_Genesis]

I'm eagerly awaiting the day that medical science finds the "Trans" gene/virus/bacteria/bugg...

Then people across the board will say in unison "AH HA!"

It's not a life style choice and all of the rationalizing stops...No more explaining the "Wrong body/birth defect" routine....

We'll able to just say...

"Oh, my mom had the 12.67N56.22 Virus!"

And everyone will say....

"You poor thing!"

Donna Jean

Well it's not so much rationalizing it to other people (though yes, that aha moment would be nice, I'm also eagerly awaiting the day medical science finds improved surgeries for trans people... ) but to say it to myself, just helps me cope with it. It's not as depressing to me to think you were born with "birth defects" as it is to think you were born into a body that isn't your own. That's probably the best I can explain it.

As for what Ryles said... i did not mean to say anything offensive towards intersexed people (I consider trans people intersexed, to an extent, so that would be offensive to myself too, wouldn't it?) There is a difference between being born with a birth defect and being born defective. I mean, being born defective sounds like some sort of illness that really stigmatizes someone and characterizes them based on something being "wrong" with them. Intersexed conditions are commonly caused by genetic mutations aka defects in their genome. That's really what I was getting at. I'm not trying to imply that they are "defective people" which implicitly sounds very stigmatizing and offensive.

[Guest Katrina Reann]

I'm eagerly awaiting the day that medical science finds the "Trans" gene/virus/bacteria/bugg...

Then people across the board will say in unison "AH HA!"

It's not a life style choice and all of the rationalizing stops...No more explaining the "Wrong body/birth defect" routine....

We'll able to just say...

"Oh, my mom had the 12.67N56.22 Virus!"

And everyone will say....

"You poor thing!"

Donna Jean

Personally I have to agree with Donna. The day they discover the gene that causes us to be and feel the way we are will be the only thing that will make people understand. What we struggle with is far from a birth defect. It is something that happened or didn't happen when we were conceived. Something in our genes, our DNA, and our chromosomes that just didn't line up. And this is not to say we are mistakes or freaks of nature's mistake. What we struggle with is a medical condition that can be treated with meds and surgery just like many other medical conditions. The big problem for those who are born trans is how our loved ones and society often view us. And when it is ( not might be) verified and discovered that what we struggle is a medical condition and something that takes place at conception, maybe we will have a little more freedom to be ourselves. Maybe then insurances and the government will recognize who we truly are and help us to be the person we were created to be. Who knows maybe we are the next link in bring humankind into a new way of thinking and even the enlightenment of acceptance, non-judgementalism, and true justification. Because one thing WE ALL do in the Trans community is show what unconditional love is all about.

[Guest Ryles_D]

Intersexed conditions are commonly caused by genetic mutations aka defects in their genome. That's really what I was getting at. I'm not trying to imply that they are "defective people" which implicitly sounds very stigmatizing and offensive.

Every single difference in life is caused by a genetic mutation aka CHANGE. That's all mutation is- change. Sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's so bad the individual isn't even born. Sometimes it's so good that that individual has such high fitness that all the members of that species end up with that mutation. That happened with humans- you can actually trace the 'Y' chromosome of every single person with a Y chromosome back to a single individual.

Mutations are not inherently defective- all they are is different. Didn't grow wisdom teeth? Mutation. Freckle easily? Mutation. Curly blonde hair? Mutation. Good eye sight? Mutation. Less body hair? Mutation. Tall? Mutation. In other words- if a genetic mutation means someone has a defect, we ALL have defects. And I don't mean all humans- every single creature that exists on this earth today is a genetically defective mutant because a giant chunk of their genetic code has been mutated at some point in history.

All intersexed people have is different genetics and different bodies. A defect[/i] is something that's damaging or problematic. Can intersexed conditions be defects? Yes. Are they? Not inherently. Some intersexed people are models because their "defect" causes them to be some of the most beautiful women in the world- would you say that these gorgeous, healthy women are the result of a birth defect? Really? Some ISpeople end up with a body that they're 1000x happier with than if they had been born "normal" and which causes them no problems. What do you think they'd do if you looked them in the face and told them that something they love about themselves is just a birth defect? And keep in mind that they get told this every single day by people like you who think they can say that someone has a defect just because they're different.

You cannot say that intersexed people have a defect without saying that a part of them is defective- and that part of them is the part that they get the most grief over and that, for all we know, they don't consider to be defective in the least and might even be proud of.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Every single difference in life is caused by a genetic mutation aka CHANGE. That's all mutation is- change. Sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's so bad the individual isn't even born. Sometimes it's so good that that individual has such high fitness that all the members of that species end up with that mutation. That happened with humans- you can actually trace the 'Y' chromosome of every single person with a Y chromosome back to a single individual.

Mutations are not inherently defective- all they are is different. Didn't grow wisdom teeth? Mutation. Freckle easily? Mutation. Curly blonde hair? Mutation. Good eye sight? Mutation. Less body hair? Mutation. Tall? Mutation. In other words- if a genetic mutation means someone has a defect, we ALL have defects. And I don't mean all humans- every single creature that exists on this earth today is a genetically defective mutant because a giant chunk of their genetic code has been mutated at some point in history.

All intersexed people have is different genetics and different bodies. A defect[/i] is something that's damaging or problematic. Can intersexed conditions be defects? Yes. Are they? Not inherently. Some intersexed people are models because their "defect" causes them to be some of the most beautiful women in the world- would you say that these gorgeous, healthy women are the result of a birth defect? Really? Some ISpeople end up with a body that they're 1000x happier with than if they had been born "normal" and which causes them no problems. What do you think they'd do if you looked them in the face and told them that something they love about themselves is just a birth defect? And keep in mind that they get told this every single day by people like you who think they can say that someone has a defect just because they're different.

You cannot say that intersexed people have a defect without saying that a part of them is defective- and that part of them is the part that they get the most grief over and that, for all we know, they don't consider to be defective in the least and might even be proud of.

:/ Perhaps what i said was poorly worded. I guess defect isn't the right word. I'm trying to convey a coping mechanism I use but it isn't easy to describe. I guess what I'm trying to say is rather than feeling like I was "born into the wrong body" per se, I like to think I was born male, but my body just turned out to be different (yeah, different works better) from the typical male body, resulting in things such as gender-typical socialisation (female), which most males do not go through (kind of like the story of the boy whom the doctors reassigned to female at birth and he turned out to identify as male in the end - he was born male, but socialised as a female and was told by others he was a girl.)

[Guest Ryles_D]

:/ Perhaps what i said was poorly worded. I guess defect isn't the right word. I'm trying to convey a coping mechanism I use but it isn't easy to describe. I guess what I'm trying to say is rather than feeling like I was "born into the wrong body" per se, I like to think I was born male, but my body just turned out to be different (yeah, different works better) from the typical male body, resulting in things such as gender-typical socialisation (female), which most males do not go through (kind of like the story of the boy whom the doctors reassigned to female at birth and he turned out to identify as male in the end - he was born male, but socialised as a female and was told by others he was a girl.)

Different works a lot better. "I'm a guy with a body that's a little different" is still confusing for people, but it's easier to understand and it doesn't put bad connotations on it. A lot of people forget that we all have different bodies- and it's all just natural variation. Some guys get a bit more estrogen than average and some guys grow breasts because of it. And same with women, some have a bit more testosterone than usual and some even end up a bit bigger down there than you'd expect. Nothing wrong with that- it's just different. And just like us, they can be uncomfortable and need to correct it, or be alright with it so long as no idiots suggest they're less of a man/woman for it. We're just a more extreme case of different than that.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Different works a lot better. "I'm a guy with a body that's a little different" is still confusing for people, but it's easier to understand and it doesn't put bad connotations on it. A lot of people forget that we all have different bodies- and it's all just natural variation. Some guys get a bit more estrogen than average and some guys grow breasts because of it. And same with women, some have a bit more testosterone than usual and some even end up a bit bigger down there than you'd expect. Nothing wrong with that- it's just different. And just like us, they can be uncomfortable and need to correct it, or be alright with it so long as no idiots suggest they're less of a man/woman for it. We're just a more extreme case of different than that.

The thing is though, at least subjectively speaking, I don't see it as all that extreme to transition. I guess that's because when you have this self-perception that you grow with and that has developed throughout even as early as your childhood, it doesn't seem that extreme to you... but to others who viewed you as a different gender, it does. I guess if you can get people to see it more from our perspective, that we always have been this person, with this identity, it doesn't seem nearly as extreme.. or nearly as much of a debilitating "illness", of sorts.

[Guest Ryles_D]

The thing is though, at least subjectively speaking, I don't see it as all that extreme to transition.

I see surgery and basically being dependent on medicine (hormones or otherwise) for the rest of your life as a bit extreme- no matter what the reason. I'm pretty sure comparable situations that would cause someone to have surgery and then be on medicine forever are considered pretty dang extreme by about anyone. Maybe the non-medical concept of it isn't extreme- but it's really hard not to look at transition as not extreme.

And I meant extreme in the sense of most people who have slightly different hormone levels or slightly different anatomy- it isn't to the degree to push them into intersexed, we are very extreme compared to that. Extreme, again, doesn't mean bad, it means "of the greatest possible degree or extent or intensity". Some of us are unlucky enough to literally be at the extreme side of the percieved-gender scale, but in general being percieved as the "opposite" sex is a difference to a much greater extent than being percieved as a person of the "same" sex who developed a bit differently.

[Guest Leigh]

honestly... i don't really care what term people use. i think we all have something we're more comfortable with saying, and we should stick to that whether or not science or anything backs us up (at this point).

basically, something's not right, we just aren't sure how to put it into words other people will understand. whatever we have to say to get them to see that we aren't crazy, or whatever we have to say to ourselves so that we aren't reinforcing some idea that we're "sick" it's all good. we know what we are.

that's my 2 cents.

peace&love

leigh