Wierdest Moment For Me

[Guest laura renee]

The other day after my electolysis session I had a inner feeling that has not let me down before so I went to were I work on my day off and had a long private talk with my store manager about me. I basically started out stating I needed to ask about the company I work for and what their policy are and the fact I know they hire gays and lesbians without any problem and promote them as well. After talking a while I was they hire them with out any problem but what about the others and finally started to say the real reason for the talk. Found out they have not had any before but they have a high turn over due to hard work. The stores are set up so that it goes owners at top, district managers boss, district managers, store managers, assistant managers, and then the cashiers. Presently for the last 3 years I have worked as a assistant under the same store manager who treats those she works with like friends and cares what happens with them. She could not speak for upper management but would not tell them either but said she would not tell them unless there was no other way when that time came but that they would most likely not want to lose a good hard worker. I asked the big question, do you still want me as your assistant manager and did I lose any respect or friendship(was willing to transferr to another store if there was a problem since I asked her not to tell anyone what I was going to tell her and she has never broken any promises). Big suprise was when she said her and her husband had been wondering when I was going to start taking estrogen(asked what gave me away and she just said her and her husband talk about everything and little things gave it away but would not tell me more, lol). She said she did not have a problem with having me as her assistant and a friend since she has wierder friends than that, lol. The total time I worked for this same company has been 6 years(3 years as a cashier at one store and then the 3 years as a assistant manager. The store is a small gas station in a chain of them and only has a store manager,assistant manager, and one cashier. I also put in around 30 hours overtime every two weeks due to helping the company on one of my days off by working at another store as whatever needed there. Never had a conversation like that one, lol and looks like this will be good for a while until I change looks too much and not worried too much.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well, Honey......

Strike up another one for your "Inner Feeling!"

Dang, That's so good!

So, she and her husband have had your number for a long time? That's funny...

Goodness, did that make you try to figure out what gave you away to her?

Well, the outcome is nothing but good. It's great to see that there are people that see you for who you are and not your gender ...

And that none of it makes any differenhce. You are a good employee...Period!

And , obviously, she realizes that!

That made me smile...........A LOT!

Congrats....

And BIGG HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest KellyKat]

Hi Laura

((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))

Got to love when those gut feelings are spot on!!

Makes me wonder if I'm dropping any ques for someone to pick up. lol

Luv Kat

[Guest BeckyTG]

Dear Laura Renee,

That's so wonderful to know. "Wanted to know when you were going to start taking estrogen?" Now, that's funny, I don't care who you are.

It's great that you have those feelings. I do too and they're strange and powerful. Use them to your advantage.

Congratulations, girlfriend. Clear sailing, girl, clear sailing.

Hugs,

Becky

[Guest Elizabeth K]

SO GOOD! I have heard stories of, "we know and wondered when you would tell us." But to have an actual person I know say that! oh my!

I know that helps you so much! A ten ton weight musta dropped of your shoulders!

Keep us updated!

Lizzy

[Paula ult]

Laura hon,

Congrats on the good outcome, i too had a few people wondering what was going on before i told them.

Trust that inner feeling, i did and so far it has not failed me.

HUGS!

Paula

[Carolyn Marie]

CONGRATS! That is great to hear, Laura. Good news all around.

Yeah, it would be interesting to know how you were giving yourself away. But hey, if they want to keep it a secret,

that's OK too. You all have a secret now.

I wish you continued good luck!

Carolyn Marie

[Sally]

Congratulations Laura,

That is so good to hear - acceptance, I haven't come out to very many people because all of the ones that I have so far turned out to be a lot less accepting than i had thought they would be.

I am so glad that your inner voice guided you in the right direction.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest laura renee]

A little more unusual which is starting to be the normal for me, lol. I had discussed that first day on how to find out more info on how the company viewed it and her response was more of they cannot discriminate on the basis of sex since that is illegal to do and that she could ask another store manager that was a friend as well to both of us how the company viewed it but she said she would say it was a female to male and that should make it so nobody would think of it. Before I told my store manager this one was the same one that I was trying to talk to first but she was always real busy running her store even though she knew I has some questions and all but I would not answer them over the phone so it never went that way even though she would have eventually asked again(she is lesbian with a partner and all). After she said what she wanted the other store manager was fast, so that is what your assistant was asking about and she just replied that it was my choice if anything more was said or confirmed but I am thinking it is another one that I have known the same amount of time and has never had any problems with. What was even more scary was that when those two store managers were talking my district manager overheard and knew right off who was really being talked about and basically told them she did not have a problem with it but to not let me know she said or heard anything and basically making sure she protected herself, lol. Luckly my store manager is a good friend and store manager and lets me know some of that. She had a comment that some of the younger or new school customers would adjust easyier and that most problems would be with the older or old school customers that were more from the older ways of doing things. Did not think I would have that talk so soon, lol. I wish I could find out what gave me away but then again, ever since I started down this road I have thrown out my old operating system so to speak and just reacted and just went with what I felt and did not worry how I would be perceived or what people thought of me. I used to almost project that feeling out that I could take care of myself and did not want anyone except friends and customers that I knew around me and that I was a lone wolf(now it is more I want customers and friends and loved ones to see me as I am and anyone that sees me in public will see the same side as well and not hiding anything and being honest with my emotions and feelings).

Big hugs to everyone and and thanks for the support,

Laura Renee

[Guest BeckyTG]

Dearest Laura Renee,

There's always so much unknown, isn't there? Much of this seems to come down to "who can handle this and who can't?". It's like our lives depend on someone's tolerance level.

As a manager for many years, I always said I didn't care if someone was 3 feet tall and green, if they could do an outstanding job, I wanted them on my team.

Keep posting the happenings and your thoughts as this unfolds. We all need to see this.

I'm about to start this whole process myself and am interested.

Love and hugs,

Becky

[Guest laura renee]

I finally got to ask the manager at another store that I was going to ask originally how she thought about it but wanted to do it in person rather than over the phone and she was always busy but said it would not change how she and her partner viewed me. Since she as always busy at her store I just asked her to stop by mine and then we could talk since the store I work at is a slower store. The first thing she said is that her and her other half did not think differently of me and that to them they still thought of me as a friend first and not how the outside looked or what gender I am. Took a little time to explain it to her and seems I have been in the right store a long time and with the right kind of co workers that I like to call friends and think this one is mainly the last one that I will tell for a while till too much shows up or start getting alot of questions, lol. Did not realize how much of a friend I meant to those that I came out to. Only got to see this one and her other half once in a while and it seems that I must have made a impression with those I am around. She said if I ever needed someone to talk to or if a friend was needed while having one of those surgery in a hospital(told her not for at least 3-5 years if I had the money and all, lol) that she would be there anytime to show that someone did beleive I was worth being around and having as a friend even if my family and friends from before transition did not want me around or disowned me. She asked what name I was thinking of later if I had already and I told her it would be Laura Renee Hamilton. She asked me why I chose that and I told her my mom would have called me that if I had been a girl, lol and then she asked how I would spell that middle name. I told her and she smiled real big and laughed and said her middle name was the same along with the same spelling of it as well. Then she told me that she met her present better half and fell in love with that person before looking at the gender and she took some trash talk about her being lesbian and all and they got used to it and she said the same would happen to me withcustomers and that the ones I am worried about will usually not be the ones that I expected to have trouble with customer wise. She did say her other half would trade finger nails in a second if she could due to how healthy mine look and not just the length on them and that my hair when it was long before was real nice when grown out 2-3 years ago, lol. She also realized I afraid of some of the relegious churchs in my area and she just said that those people need to read about unconditional love that the bible speaks of and not say anything else. After that talk it was a very humbling feeling for me and wondering what I did to deserve friends like that and a job that looks like its perfect place to transition since as my friend put it, people still have to get gas, ice, and sodas still no matter what and they will adjust to it since they are from the neighhood around the store. Time to just do my electrolysis visits every Monday for a hour, once a month with my therapist for a hour , and let the hormones do their thing. Think I am going to have to ask my doctor Monday for something to help with the pain from electrolysis on the upper lip though, lol.

Laura Renee