How?

[Guest RachaelAnn]

I have asked how I'm supposed to break the news to my family. I have an idea how to do it. I just have to be ready. Now I'm facing a greater challenge. How do I tell my inlaws? My wife's grandmother is crazy about me, but she only knows the "male" me. Her parents on the other hand, aren't the most impressed with me. So I don't know what I'm supposed to do. And something tells me they are going to find out before I'm fully ready for them to know. Then I have to figure out how to explain the whole situation to someone, that A) isn't very crazy about me, more than likely has a very bleak image of transgenders, and C) would not be very accepting of the fact that I'm a woman.

So what do I do?

Signed,

A very frightened Rachael

[Guest Donna Jean]

Rachael.......

Coming out can be a very scary process...

Everyone is different...different views on life..different prejudices....

Some may be more accepting than others,...

Do you really need to come out to everyone right away?

Some people let their HRT start working and let people see their subtle changes which can make it easier in the long run.

And, of course, you need to have a different approach for different people.

Some will be supportive right off..

Others will have to warm up to you...

And, there's the chance that someone will never be accepting.

We have to be prepared for whatever happens...

Good luck, Honey....

Donna Jean

[Sally]

Dear Rachael,

I was spared the agony of trying to figure out how to come out to my in laws, long before I was ready my wife talked to her sisters and I was called before the great throne of her mother and was berated by her and her other two daughters while my wife just sat and listened but I wasn't really surprised because while I met them at my church I had long known that they only worshiped money and image was more important than substance.

So what I am saying I guess is that no matter how scary a proposition it might be you should probably consider telling them yourself in your own way before they find out.

It is always better if you can approach it from a positive attitude as to what it will do for you as opposed to all of the negative aspects.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Blindheart]

it looks like u have your wife on your side from a post i see in your profile so i think that would be a big help in telling her family. i would definitely have her along when u talk to them. if she accepts u 100% and stays by you through all of this, and her family loves her as much as they should, then eventually they will accept u too.

tho sometimes it can be better to wait awhile to tell everyone u know. i t was almost 4 years after i told the first person (my mother) how i felt before i had gotten around to being completely open and out with everyone in my extended family and the rest of the world. during that time i had room to grow into my new self .and when i got the courage or desire to let more people in they were very accepting cause it explained a lot of the weirdness they saw in me, or they had already figured it out and were just being kind not talking about it

[Guest viv]

Rachael,,,Hun, write down on a sheet of foolscap all the advice reads best to you

when your post has ** run its course ** . I know this is very serious for you so

put much thought into your course of action . Put together a good plan and stick

to that , first sign of you getting treated bad --walk away , you married your wife ,

no one else . Be cool hun ,,hope things go well for you ,,,luv,viv