Searching

[Guest Naomi Stardust]

Every time I check to see what posts people are reading

there is always someone marked "searching..."

and every time I see it

I think, "aren't we all..."

I am searching for a way to undue giving up on myself

I am searching for courage

I am searching for meaning

for help

for kinship

for something to distract me from loneliness and heartache

for hope

for that little girl who used to find a four leaf clover in every patch

before anyone told her she was a boy...

I am searching...

what is everyone else searching for?

[Guest Sotha]

A gender/trans-friendly therapist within Kaiser...

and I think I may have found one!

[Guest Donna Jean]

Naomi.....

That's beautiful..

Donna Jean

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

I am searching for the light at the end of the tunnel... a break... I am searching for more people just like me so I am no longer the "freak," I know there has to be somewhere that I fit in.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Yup that's me.

LUV

Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Naomi hon

You will find what you seek.

You will find yourself.

Love

Brenda

[Paula ult]

I am searching for the light at the end of the tunnel... a break... I am searching for more people just like me so I am no longer the "freak," I know there has to be somewhere that I fit in.

Alex,

Do not be so hard on yourself, you are not a freak, none of us are, we did not just decide one day to be trans, we always were, and there are lots of others just like us, they may be fully transitioned and stealth or not even started and deep in the closet but they are out there, transmen blend into society so well after being on T awhile that you can talk to one on the street and never know it, i know a few transmen and unless they said said they were trans you would never know.

Paula

[Sally]

Dear Naomi,

You are right, we are all searching for pretty much the same thing - a place to fit in and be loved.

It is an inherent part of our condition that we feel isolated and totally unloved.

This is not true - we have a place and it is right here - not just in Laura's but in the world - other people may try to take it away from us but they can only do that if we allow them to.

It is time to realize that nothing will ever change if we do not change it ourselves.

I am searching for acceptance from my family but when they do not offer it I merely back down - so I have decided that I will no longer upset them by even trying and I will life with the acceptance that I do have.

There are so many people in our community who have a lifetime of love stored up waiting for someone to accept it - those people are here and in your communities but they can never find you if you are hiding.

Don't be afraid to share your love with someone over the Internet - I share my love with so many here - love is a totally inexhaustible resource the more you share the more you have.

Next time you are talking to someone you care about - tell them that you love them - it doesn't hurt and it just might make them feel not so isolated.

So, Naomi and all of my friends here - I love you,

Sally