Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Kayla's Introduction


Guest Kaylakitten

Recommended Posts

Guest Kaylakitten

Hello everyone,

My name is Kayla Renee. I am 29 with several years experience and I reside in a land that is round on the ends and hi in the middle. I am a post-op MtF transsexual. I had my surgery with Marci Bowers in Trinidad Colo. May 22nd, 2007. On that note, if there is any way you can finance her high(er) cost, don't hesitate to go to this extremely gifted surgeon! I was her 291st solo and I can not give her enough praise for her work. 60% of what she does in her grs procedure, no other surgeon in the world does. My recovery was very quick, easy and with little pain or discomfort. I am completely sensate and orgasmic; not that this was even a concern for me, because sexual activity had very little to do with my reasons for having grs. If Marci is this good now, I can only imagine that her abilities will just keep blossoming in the surgeries and years to come.

I have had a fairly fortunate transition. Two of the most important issues in transition (for many), I never had to worry about - career and family. My father has been my biggest supporter from the onset. My mother took a little bit to "get it" but never withheld her love or support from me or due to my decisions. I think she finally actually "got it" after talking to Marci Bowers prior to my surgery. Her and I have become increasingly closer since then. Both of my parents (divorced since I was 12 and haven't been in the same room but maybe 2 times since) were present for my rebirth. This was a major consideration for staying in the States for surgery. You just can't put a price on that kind of personal-in-person support! I have one older sister (no brothers) who lives in Utah and she has been caring and considerate throughout as well. Again, since my transition, we have only been developing a closer bond; a bond that just was never there in our childhood. I couldn't be close to her growing up, because she was everything that I wanted to be; and couldn't. I work for an independent company serving the library community internationally. My transition on the job was without incident. I have now worked with them for over 12 years (currently cataloging music!) and I never had any doubts as to their position on workplace discrimination. Heck, one of my first supervisors was a little, round, jolly gay man! AND one of the directors of HR was a gay man as well. While I was not officially the first to transition, I was the first "known" transperson there and I have been treated with respect and dignity always.

Additionally in my transition, I have almost always been able to not be "read" by strangers. I am, and have always been pretty androgynous and have been told by others how attractive I am (which is all a matter all perspective - as I have a serious self-esteem/confidence issue). Since making the transition, I do not get "sirred" ever, in person, on the phone, the drive through window, etc. So I guess my voice isn't too gawd awful. I am thankful for this last fact, because I know that voice can be an extremely jaded issue with many transpeople. When I walk into a room, or through the mall, there aren't a lot of people turning to stare or gawk at me because I look like a "guy in a dress" or something and I haven't been the object of verbal or physical attacks.

My journey has been one that many (probably most) would envy. Family support, no job issues, attractive (no shortage of guys wanting to date me at least - although I have been single and not looking for over 2 1/2 years); people might think that I wouldn't have any problems associated with my transition ... I still have struggled emotionally with being trans, none the less. Internally I battle every day with thoughts that are negative, self-defeating and harmful. I have had such a negative body image for soo long, I am not sure I know any different or *how* to make it be different. 5 months ago I began work on this more only to crash hard right before Christmas ('07). I was keeping a gratitude journal, doing positive affirmations and had a good coaching relationship going on with my step-mom (which is her profession). I am not sure what happened, but all of that just stopped; and I have been in a rut ever since. I have only been able to focus on how "masculine" I look (even though I suppose I don't really) and how others *must* perceive me. This is why I am here, to try to re-align myself. Get back on the right track and feel good about myself again ... err, wait, I have never really felt good about myself! lol

Other things about me - Are you tired of reading this yet?!?! I know it's long, I apologize :) It will end soon, promise! I live alone (well, with my kitty Lucky Charms) in a descent area. The majority of my neighbors are friendly (at least polite) enough. I really enjoy cars and music, especially when they are connected to each other. I have 3 wonderful children (whom I don't see anymore) - Dakota (boychild #1 - almost 10), Mikaela (girlchild - 8) and Dawson (boychild #2 - 6 1/2). They are all beautiful, highly intelligent and intuitive. Although I have limited involvement in their lives right now, I know that we will eventually be a large part or each others lives in the future. My last relationship lasted over 7 yrs (not with biological mother - she couldn't accept me as I was) with a wonderful woman whom actually (although she can't be with another woman) got me to examine whether I needed to transition or not. She helped me out for the first time publicly, helped find medical resources, etc. She and I are still the *best* of friends. *I* pathetically am still in love with her after over 2 1/2 years of not being together. Next subject! I prefer outdoor activities to being inside (as long as the weather is warm). I am technologically challenged, although I know enough to get by, but that's about it! Here, get a chuckle out of this one - I don't even have a cell phone! LOL

So this is me! if you want to know anything else, ask, ask, ask. I am very upfront, open, objective, honest and sincere. I would be more than happy to enlighten the masses ;)

Good day to everyone! *hugs*

--Kayla

Link to comment
Guest savagedm

Wow sounds like you experienced a pretty smooth transition indeed! Great job! I am hoping for the same myself >< Dont worry about the technological challenge part, lots of people my age still are I found out! Anyways Kayla, welcome to Laura's Playground and hope to see more of you around!

~Brooke

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

Hello Kayla,

Welcome to Laura's Playground and thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It's always good to hear about positive transitions. Hopefully, your negative thoughts will be resolved soon. Stay the course, girl. You'll make it.

MaryEllen :)

Link to comment
Guest Andrea-M

Hi Kayla and Welcome,

I find your storey encouraging, hope mine goes so smoothly. I learnt you have to learn to love yourself from the inside out, where i hate my masculinity and sometimes can't be objective, I still love myself (I am a little vane, you tell what girl isn't lol)

Hugs Andrea

Link to comment

welcome! glad youre here. and thank you tons for telling us so much about you and your transition. no matter which way one goes MTF or FTM its always good to hear a positive story.

-rae

Link to comment
Guest Kaylakitten

Thanks for the welcome from everyone. I am always willing to share my experiences with others in hopes that they can gain some insight from me and/or my story. Many of us may go through similar experiences, but everyone's experiences are individual, we all have diverse personalities and we handle/deal with things in different ways. It is a blessing that there is soo much information available to people today, compared with 10, 15 or more years ago. Hearing about other people's experiences is a wonderful thing. I believe it helps us to sort out our *own* issues and sometimes gain a new perspective on things. :)

Link to comment
Guest Agony
Thanks for the welcome from everyone. I am always willing to share my experiences with others in hopes that they can gain some insight from me and/or my story. Many of us may go through similar experiences, but everyone's experiences are individual, we all have diverse personalities and we handle/deal with things in different ways. It is a blessing that there is soo much information available to people today, compared with 10, 15 or more years ago. Hearing about other people's experiences is a wonderful thing. I believe it helps us to sort out our *own* issues and sometimes gain a new perspective on things. :)

Kayla, I really hope that I do not bring up bad feelings, but one of the things you mentioned scares me. You said that you don't see your children anymore. Is this really painful for you, or were you out of the picture very early on in their lives? I have a very beautiful, sweet and loving 21 month old son and constantly worry about how transitioning would affect him. I would NEVER want to hurt him, yet I am torn between making sure he has a 'daddy' and that he knows he is loved, and doing what is right for me.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 154 Guests (See full list)

    • Evelyn J
    • Petra Jane
    • awkward-yet-sweet
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,030
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Togepi
    Newest Member
    Togepi
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. BraxtonLee
      BraxtonLee
      (26 years old)
    2. Bryanna
      Bryanna
      (45 years old)
    3. Jayde1
      Jayde1
    4. Mireya
      Mireya
      (66 years old)
    5. Shellianne_Kay83
      Shellianne_Kay83
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      I read about her this morning. What a shame! She was beautiful and it seems she had a strong support system in place and could have had a wonderful life all to have it end like this. Such a waste. I truly hope the monster that killed her gets everything he deserves.
    • Susan R
      They’re not going to stop anytime soon either. Tighten your belts folks were in for a long ride.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.newson6.com/story/628ecf1347f55207110ce491/oklahoma-city-bombing-victims     Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
      I am so glad you enjoy them as well. The help things “stay put” so well. It got me through some of my most dysphoric times.   Wow, I hadn’t heard this at last week’s Zoom meeting if you had mentioned it. That is a huge milestone April Marie.I have no doubt that this confidence will only grow in time. The freedom of being yourself, especially in public, is a wonderful feeling. I am truly happy for you.😘   *Big Congratulatory Hug* Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!! Another Zoom meet-up will happen tomorrow. It’s an opportunity to meet and chat with members from this forum as well as others within our worldwide trans community. All are invited so join us and if you want…say “Hi”. Stop by anytime as the meetings typically run 3 to 4 hours. Feel free to stay as long as you want and leave at any time during the meeting.   Trans Group Zoom Meeting Times: April 27, 2024 6:00 PM Pacific Time April 27, 2024 8:00 PM Central Time April 28, 2024 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend.   *Hugs* Susan R🌷
    • Carolyn Marie
      @Abigail Genevieve, that is not an appropriate question, IMO.  This isn't the Army/McCarthy hearings.   Carolyn Marie
    • EasyE
      Don't think Americans would go for the "compulsory" part. We kind of like not being told what to do ... Amazingly, there is great pushback on voter ID laws. The opponents say it discourages voting, especially among the poor and minorities. That is really a smokescreen IMO for those who want to harvest ballots from as many places as possible, including folks who don't exist or don't hold citizenship... 
    • Betty K
      Pretty soon I think I might be ready to talk about gender-affirming care for kids, possibly w/r/t the Cass Review and its shortcomings.
    • KayC
      She was a beautiful young woman ...   "What we do know is that the offender was a very violent individual and should not have been on our streets.”  Whether gender related or not, the mental health and incarceration issues in our country are incredibly bad and need to be addressed.
    • Sally Stone
      April,   I'm glad my entries are interesting to you.  TransCentralPA is a great organization with so many caring people.  I would strongly recommend you find a way to attend the Keystone Conference.  I guarantee you'll find it an amazing experience.     Hugs,   Sally
    • KayC
    • KayC
      Dear @Sally Stone.  I think you should author a memoir based on these posts (maybe you're already working towards that?).  You could decide at a later time if/when you might want to publish.   I appreciate you sharing your deep connection with your friend Willa (and I am sorry for your loss) and the benefit of having a Trans friend and mentor in our Life and Journey.  I was fortunate to have found one also in our TGP friend @Kasumi63.   As you know we share many common Life themes in our stories.  Drop me a PM if you'd like to chat about it.  Looking forward to the next 'chapter'.
    • Mirrabooka
      Voting is compulsory here, for better or worse. Would doing the same in the US snap people out of their apathy?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am noting you use CRT terminology.  The comment is not out of the blue.  Some of your remarks on religion suggest atheism.  So it is believable that you are a Marxist, knowingly or not.  Are you?
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Congrats to your family on the new addition!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...