When Did You Know If You Were Straight Or A Lesbian?

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Obviously, I'm far away from having this be a relevant question, but nevertheless, when did you find out if you're a straight woman or a lesbian?

As a guy, I've only been attracted to women, and I would have no problems being a lesbian, and in many ways look forward to it.

I hate to admit it, but the idea of being a gay male is repulsive to me. Yet whenever I think about being a woman, I seem to always fantasize about having my legs wrapped around a guy....

interesting question and as the others say ones sexuality and sexual expression is entirely personal. That being said as I tear appart the old me and allow the new one to come out, one of the first things i found changing was my sexuality, I am still attracted to women but like you in a lesbian capacity. It remains to be seen if that changes, however I hope not since I am in a wonderful relationship with a woman who knows I am pre op trans and is willing to be with me and beside me through all of the rollercoaster ride ahead.

[Guest Amanda_Henderson]

I have a question on this topic.

I am attracted to men. I consider my self to be straight. I want to find a man that I can love, and love me for what I am and everything else.

I have fantasies of what it would be like of what it would be like to have 2 girls and 1 guy, and the same thing backwards 2 guys and a girl. Have even toyed around with the Idea with one of my girlfriends (her Idea not mine) but that is how I got into the Idea in the first place, Think'n to my self What would it be like.

I have no attracions to girls what so ever. Except for the fact of when I see one I wish like h*** that I can look that good.

I have been in a relationship with a man, and loved it. Although he did not know anything about the fact that I was born into this world as a "BOY ".

Other then that when I was younger I have been attracted to girls mainly, and boys on the side.

I have been told that HRT dosen't change who you are attracted to, so I thought that I was going to be to be Les. or so Bi.

Told to me by my Theripist and some of my T-Friends. But Things have changed for me. I now see myself as a woman being with a man.

I do not consider myself to be les. or bi.

[Guest cjnoble71]

Obviously, I'm far away from having this be a relevant question, but nevertheless, when did you find out if you're a straight woman or a lesbian?

As a guy, I've only been attracted to women, and I would have no problems being a lesbian, and in many ways look forward to it.

I hate to admit it, but the idea of being a gay male is repulsive to me. Yet whenever I think about being a woman, I seem to always fantasize about having my legs wrapped around a guy....

Sexuality is at least as complicated as gender. My only advice is to try not to pigeon hole yourself or others. And don't let others pigeon hole you either. I've seen it come up in other threads, loved ones assuming that you are just gay and confused. Well for one thing, I am bi, almost right in the middle of the Kinsey scale, and for another, when it comes to sex with boys, I don't want to be a boy having sex with boys, I want to be a girl having sex with boys. I could get on a Sartre-esque rant on existentialism and how hard it is to know ourselves, much less others, but I'll find a Phil. forum for that.

[Guest angie]

When did I know?

The first time a man took me to bed as a woman three days after name change.

Set it in stone my preferance as that of a straight woman liking the male gender.

That and the way my whole body reacts to male pheremones.

Angie

[Guest Tammy Maher]

I like to keep an open mind about my sexuality, but I guess you could say that I'm currently a straight lesbian. Yeah weird choice word choice......

I have a girlfriend that doesn't know I'm trans..... straight lesbian.

^^/

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Having had some time to think about this I dont know where i fit on the sexuality spectrum. I am thinking of just tabling that decision for later when other things have been completed (like multicountry name changes)

[Guest ricka]

I have always been sexually and romantically attracted to men. Initially I considered myself as a gay male but as my female identity emerged I realized and experience myself as a straight woman. I have had sex with other women but found it unfulfilling and pretty mechanical and I was always amazed I could "perform" as a male at all. The other thing I have found out is that I orgasm as a woman not a man. While I love my female body I am totally attracted sexually to male bodies.

ricka

[Guest Kayliegh]

iI’ve never been attracted to men until I started taking hormones. Then, it seemed natural. I would love to have a man take me in his arms, caress me, and finally “have his way with me”, but until I fully transition, I won’t have that realization.

I don’t know if I’m going to far here, but I’ve always dreamed of having a man inside of me!

Kayleigh

[Guest Kacee]

I figured out my gender before I was 5 years old. I had the childhood from hell tho. I won't go into all of it here, suffice it to say that I was physically, psychologically and sexually abused by many people for many years. I feel lucky and proud to say that I survived all of it, mostly intact. I was very happily married to a wonderful woman for 28 years and would not give back one second of it for anything. Having said that, on to the topic.... I have always been attracted to both genders pretty much equally. I had a huge crush on one of my best friends when I was a teen. I think he knew it, but nothing was ever said. I still have fantasies about him. On the other hand, I LOVE girls too! I still have a humongous crush on Valerie Bertinelli. (And I used to live 10 minutes from her!!) I am definitely a girl-watcher. I just love the feminine shape. Plus, I pick up a lot of fashion tips that way!! LOL But I tell ya what, lock me in a room with Brad Pitt and he'll forget all about Anjelina!! So... to sum it up, I guess I'm bi. I'm ok with that. If HRT changes things, so be it. Either way, I am the woman I was always meant to be and I LIKE me!!

Love

Kacee

[Guest AshleyRF]

For me... before I transitioned, I had no thoughts or feelings of being with a guy. I was only into women prior to transition. Now that I am living full time and being accepted as just another woman, the idea of being with a guy doesn't repulse me anymore. I think there are some really cute guys out there and if I were single, being with a guy would not be out of the question for me. Granted I still do and would prefer women by far but being with a guy would have it's advantages.

I'm always a little put off by those who claim they were totally only into women and after starting HRT became only interested in men. I'm not sure hormones are capable of causing that drastic of a change in a persons sexual orientation or if they are even capable of changing it at all honestly. I think the "changes" a lot of us seem to go through are nothing more than an awakening of a person that was always there but was being kept quiet. I think many (not all) transwomen tend to fall into the thought of "I have to be with a man to be a REAL woman", and I can understand how having a man flirt and swoon over you can make you feel very accomplished. I've been there myself. It's an amazing feeling.

[Guest Sarah]

I'm bisexual, but I think I prefer guys. maybe it's because I've only had a girlfriend once (still living as a guy then and she didn't know) and i felt awkward in the relationship because of being the guy in it. now I'm scared that when I start another relationship with a girl, my "womanhood" would be undermined. I know it sounds silly, but I really don't want to feel like the guy in the relationship, which makes a relationship with a girl kind of scary, while with a guy, there's no question who's the woman '

I feel like an idiot thinking like this...

grtz & hugs,

Sarah xxx

[Guest Kayliegh]

For me... before I transitioned, I had no thoughts or feelings of being with a guy. I was only into women prior to transition. Now that I am living full time and being accepted as just another woman, the idea of being with a guy doesn't repulse me anymore. I think there are some really cute guys out there and if I were single, being with a guy would not be out of the question for me. Granted I still do and would prefer women by far but being with a guy would have it's advantages.

I'm always a little put off by those who claim they were totally only into women and after starting HRT became only interested in men. I'm not sure hormones are capable of causing that drastic of a change in a persons sexual orientation or if they are even capable of changing it at all honestly. I think the "changes" a lot of us seem to go through are nothing more than an awakening of a person that was always there but was being kept quiet. I think many (not all) transwomen tend to fall into the thought of "I have to be with a man to be a REAL woman", and I can understand how having a man flirt and swoon over you can make you feel very accomplished. I've been there myself. It's an amazing feeling.

Sorry if I put you off, Ashley - Maybe I was attracted to men prior, but I only noticed it in 2003 when I first used hormones. I guess all my life I've wondered what it be like to be with a man as a woman, but only in the last few years has that attitude "blossomed."

[Guest ricka]

Great thread! Human sexuality defies pre-fab parameters, whatever your gender identity it seems to me. Sexual preference can be fluid---not neccessarily static for everyone.

I have always been romantically and sexually attracted to males. By the time I was in my teens I identified myself as a gay male (who also dated girls socially BTW, primarily because looking back I related to girls and it seems my closest friends have always been women, ) but my crushes were always on guys, and Oh! Honey! I would become so secretly infatuated with guy friends.

Now as i am transitioning, experiencing and expressing myself more and more as a woman I consider myself more to be a straight female. Although I am not on hrt my breasts have developed dramatically over the past few years and there have been other hormonal changes in my body which parallel where I am emotionally. An interesting phenomenon I am noticing, and perhaps this is just stating the obvious, is that the men who are attracted to me are all bisexual. Sexually I am hard-wired and respond very much as a woman.

Seems like we are all wired a little differently. I love it!!! Ricka

[Guest Natalie92]

As of right now, I'm more emotionally attracted towards guys, but more sexually attracted towards girls. I wouldn't mind sex with a guy, though.

I like guys because they're easy to please, strong, protective, make me feel safe, and not emotionally complicated.

I like girls because they are beautiful, soft, nurturing, caring, well mannered. And a girl won't kill me for finding out I'm trans.

Those are not absolutes, just generalizations. Some guys exhibit some of the girl traits I described, and vice versa.

I pretty much agree with this. However, this only applies when I'm in girl mode. As a guy, I was pretty much gay, so being attracted to guys isn't that big of a deal for me. I just can't imagine 'performing' with me as the guy, although I'm not that sexual regardless. I had 2 girlfriends but the relationships didn't last long. I almost am afraid of dating straight guys though (because of the whole possibly getting violent when they find out I'm trans thing), once I get a bf as a girl. I just like being able to cuddle up with a guy and feel safe. My relationships succeed when my partner can be my rock, which tends to be more of a male trait. If a girl can make me feel safe and protected, then that's GREAT! But so far, I've only found one, who when I told her that I had a dream that she confessed to me that she was bi she replied, "HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That was DEFINATELY a dream!!! Girls are b**ches! Haha!" so I don't think that being more than a best friend with her is an option.

[Guest LottieZero]

Well, I'm bisexual and have known I was since I was 14, though I used to strongly prefer guys when I was in my mid-teens; I like both more-or-less equally now, but I hate the thought of having relationships as a guy. It's mainly the fact that I don't like being "the guy" in the relationship, mainly in relationships with women, but it's still slightly annoying if I'm thought of as a guy when I'm with a guy!

Lottie

[Guest AshleyRF]

Sorry if I put you off, Ashley - Maybe I was attracted to men prior, but I only noticed it in 2003 when I first used hormones. I guess all my life I've wondered what it be like to be with a man as a woman, but only in the last few years has that attitude "blossomed."

Sorry... I shouldn't have really used the phrase "put off", that is a little to strong. My problem however is with claims that HRT changes a persons sexual orientation 180 degrees is that it's not far off from saying that homosexuality can be "cured" with HRT treatments. We all know that is just no the case. It's been tried many many times with a 0% success rate. There are so many other factors that come into play with sexual orientation. The desire to be a "normal woman" is a huge one. What is it that "normal women" do? They are into men. Transwomen have a tendency to want to fit the mold of "normal woman" so much that they will do anything for it. It's completely understandable to do this and to want as much of a "normal woman" life as possible.

[Guest angie]

Sorry... I shouldn't have really used the phrase "put off", that is a little to strong. My problem however is with claims that HRT changes a persons sexual orientation 180 degrees is that it's not far off from saying that homosexuality can be "cured" with HRT treatments. We all know that is just no the case. It's been tried many many times with a 0% success rate. There are so many other factors that come into play with sexual orientation. The desire to be a "normal woman" is a huge one. What is it that "normal women" do? They are into men. Transwomen have a tendency to want to fit the mold of "normal woman" so much that they will do anything for it. It's completely understandable to do this and to want as much of a "normal woman" life as possible.

For me it started when I was 14 and dreaming about being with a man,which I dreamed of being with my whole life.I would wakeup saying,"I'm not gay!" Because I just could not see myself being with a man as a man.And I did experiment,Oh yes I did,and I was right.I wasn't attracted to men as my old self,I liked women.Going celibate for eight years,and starting transition,opened my eyes to the possibility after finding my attraction to women had waned.Heck the last time I was kissed by a gg was on my 50th birthday,and that was a chance encounter.It was as my time in real life became normalized,that I found by my female body's natural reaction to men was something I liked and desired.I didn't choose,my bodies chemistry reacted the way any straight womans would.And it

became all right in my mind,since I am now living as a woman.You are right Ashley,if you make the change completely,it was always in the subconcious part of your mind.But there are one heck of a

lot of us ladies that are lesbian also.you shouldn't feel bad about it,just go with the flow.

Angie

[Guest AshleyRF]

I do have that attraction to men now, but I'm very very peculiar about the men I'm attracted to. They have to fit a pretty specific mold for me. I like guys like Marylin Manson, Dani Filth, and Ryan Reynolds is just yummy. Guys like Vin Diesel (sp), The Rock, or any of those other macho in your face kinda guys are just a huge turn off for me.

The other side to that is that women are even more appealing to me than ever before.

My honest opinion is that love is love be it with a man or a woman, it's a good thing.

[Guest mia 1]

I'm a lesbian and I love it....well I would be if I transitioned. But I always fantasize about a woman to woman relationship. Have since I was a teenager....who would want a smelly old guy..when you can have a beautiful woman by your side....no offense intended....to gay guys. But I love women and I love being a woman.....

[Guest AshleyRF]

I'm a lseian and I love it....well I would be if I transitioned. But I always fantasize about a woman toe woman relationship. Have since I was a teenager....who would want a smeely old guy..when you can have a beautiful woman by your side....no offense intended....to gay guys. But I love women and I love being a woman.....

I do love my lesbian marriage that's for sure. I wouldn't trade it for anything else. There is just something about 2 women being together that is SOOOOOO HOTTTTT!!!!

On the other hand, thought I've never experienced it, I would imagine there would be something about being with a man that would be hot as well. The dominance they would have over you that you really just can't get from being with another woman. Men tend to have a more aggressive nature when it comes to sex that would probably at times be a huge turn on. The idea and feeling of just being taken..... There are other things I'm sure that would be great about being with a guy.

[Guest cjnoble71]

I would become so secretly infatuated with guy friends.

Ricka,

Been there, done that. My poor clueless mother kept trying to get her shy little boy to hang out with that nice Mandell boy, never knowing that I was soooo crushing on him. It would have been torture being around him all the time, even though he was a really nice guy.

Christine

[Guest mia 1]

I've always thought all my "partners" and I had a special bond,,that could only be appreciated as woman to woman..a certain sense of admration, affection and respect..something only two women could share....never assumed I was superior to my partners and never treated them like I was the aggressor....symbiosis sexuality..

Many women appreciated that and those who liked it rough didn't care for me and I didn't care for them.....