Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Coming Out: My Experience And Hope For Others


Guest Dani4Life

Recommended Posts

Guest Dani4Life

Well I couldn't think of a better place for this, so it's going in general...

It's been a very long time since I've posted on the forums, but I have some really good news and couldn't hold it back from everyone.

So last Wednesday I started HRT. I must say my life has improved so much since then. I haven't been depressed once this past week... the initial "omg yay estrogen" feeling kinda wore off (I was so excited for a couple days)... but I'm still on average in a much better mood than usual. But that's not why I'm writing today. I'm writing because I wanted to maybe give some hope to people who are afraid of coming out or aren't sure what to expect from their friends.

Anyways, months ago I had drafted a note on facebook to share with all my friends. Every once in a while I would edit it or add to it, never really refining it too much but trying to make it as good as I could so that everyone would understand as easily as possible. I drafted it initially without the intent of waiting until I was on HRT, but I never felt ready before then. Once Wednesday came around I felt ready though. Except I forgot to post it... woops. It was 3am when I realized I had never posted it. It was now April 1st. I laughed to myself at the thought of posting such a letter on first of April, and decided to wait until Thursday. So I wake up Thursday morning, take a deep breath, and published the note. I had no idea what to expect at that point... would I get hate mail? Would everyone ignore me? Who knows...

So here is what I said to all my friends:

I wish there was an easier way to do this, however facebook only lets you send a message to 20 people at once and you can only tag like 40 or 50 people in one note at once... There's 144 of you currently, so the easiest way is to just make a note. So that no one feels left out or ignored I'm not going to tag anyone. I just hope that this information makes its way to everyone I know on here. If you think someone we both mutually know might miss this, go ahead and tell them or ask them if they saw it please.

Well, now that I have the introduction out of the way, and hopefully have made a point about how serious this is... Down to business. There's something about me that not many people know, but some of you who will see this already know. It's not the easiest thing for everyone to understand and I don't expect all of you to get it right away. I'm even prepared for the chance that some of you may not ever get it or accept me for who I am. What I am is transgendered. More specifically, I am a male to female transsexual. I am now on my way to transitioning to the gender I feel I was meant to be. Or to put it more bluntly, this means I'm getting a sex change... even though the verb "get" is terribly inaccurate in this situation as it's a long process that takes years to accomplish.

The reason I have chosen now to share this with everyone is based on a number of factors. One factor being that I have only fully accepted who I am within the past year (there's a long story behind this if anyone is truly interested in my life and what I have gone through), and the largest factor being that things are going to be changing soon now that I know I'm going through with this and it would be slightly difficult to hide, heh. As of Wednesday I have been on HRT (hormone replacement therapy).

It's pretty difficult to explain how I really feel, but the best way to put it is that I am a girl trapped in a boys body. I live every day as a lie to the world, pretending to be someone I am not, feeling like I don't belong anywhere, filling a role that doesn't fit me. The person you see isn't me but the result of years and years of being ashamed and scared of who I truly am out of fear of rejection and ridicule. It has taken me a great deal of time to come to terms with everything I face. I no longer fear writing this note or the consequences that will come from it. In fact, I look forward to being more open with my friends and allowing you all further into my life.

I'm not sure what else I can say right now to help everyone understand, but I hope that you all at least try to understand and accept me. I highly suggest going to http://www.tsfaq.info/ to get a better idea of a lot of aspects of this, or go to Google or Wikipedia, and look up the words transgendered and transsexual.

If anyone has any questions or concerns, I am willing to answer literally just about any question you want to ask me. Seriously, ask me anything, I don't mind especially if it helps you understand me better. Or even if you're just curious about something... ask. Feel free to ask and discuss in comments on the note, or you can talk to me privately if you wish.

As of now there are 24 comments on this note. All extremely positive, all amazingly supportive. More people have also contacted me through the chat on facebook and through AIM and have had nothing but amazing things to say to me. I was in tears from some of the kind words my friends have given me.

I want to share what some of them have said:

we love yo and we are always here for support. Even if you wanted to do something outrageous I will still be behind you 110%. we cant protect u from everything, but just know that if anything bothers you, not to keep it to yourself. we want to help and support you all the way. if this is what makes you happy, i will support yo uno matter what... See More. im also very proud of you for making this leap! if you ever need to talk or vent, you have my number!!!!!!

Even if someone takes a stab at you, just let us know.....we'll take care of them lol

I am proud you had the courage to write all this.

If you ever need anything or someone to talk to im always here, remember that.

I give you alot of credit for being honest and open with people. takes alot of courage to do that.
Your probably the most courageous person I know now. Do what makes you happy :) So my only question to you about this is, so if your not going to be Greg anymore, what shall we call you now?
I think it was really brave of you to come out this way and I hope that this path brings you happiness and contentment.
I am honestly almost in tears as I read this. I think you are incredibly brave and strong to pursue what makes you feel complete and happy and to be this open about it. Just know that because of this I only respect and admire you more, and you have my full support no matter what. I'll be here to talk to or whatever you may need as you go through this process.
I have to admire your courageousness in sharing this with all of us. 100% behind you in your decision!
congrats, don't be ashamed of yourself. you're an awesome person inside and out, don't let this get to you. you are who you are and you have SO many people that love you regardless. just do what makes you feel more comfortable and makes you feel happy. :)

That is only a few of the comments. I couldn't ask for better friends... I'm truly amazed by all this and I hope it only works out so well for others. I guess I just want to show that people can surprise you and maybe be more accepting than you'd imagine. Even the one person who I thought would hate me supports me 100% and even is considering sharing an apartment with me and his girlfriend.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Dani, that is a very courageous thing that you've done, and I am so very glad that it's turned out so well for you.

I won't say that you're lucky, because that would minimize the importance of your own role in choosing your friends. You seem to have

a great knack for choosing some wonderful friends, and that is a testament to both you, and them.

Your Facebook post was very well written, giving just the right amount of information in a very open and sensitive way. Posting the link was

a great idea, as well.

One never knows how coming out will go. When it goes as well as yours has, it brings a big old smile to my face, and warms my heart.

Congrats, girl!

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Dani

What can I say? An amazing testimony. Simply a wonder!

GRAND GRAND GRAND

You produced a thorough and well worded explaination of your condition and your decision to transition.

Well done! The results indicate how well you did.

Lizzy

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

Dani.......

Honey, I LOVED IT!

The way that you did it...

The way it was received...

The Love...

The support...

And, it's kinda funny...courageous ...one heck of a word...

I've come out to people and then called courageous ...all the while nearly in tears, shaking and sweating like a pig...courageous?...I guess so....LOL

Your post was inspiring...

Wonderful!

HUGGS! & LOVE!

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest Girl Emily

Dani,

Wow Wow Wow!

You are an inspiration to me. I am so happy for you. I am also pleased to hear that people are becoming more accepting of us and our situation.

Huggs and continued success,

Link to comment
Guest Yinyang Mist

You have guts, for posting such a note. Pre-anxiety from waiting to post it would have sent me to the hospital but ya pulled it off : ) Congrats on your supportive responses and should we all be so lucky.

Link to comment

Dani,

That was very well written young lady, just the right information and length, courageous.. oh my.. many people said the same thing to me when i came out, you are lucky to have such good friends.

Being young many people your age have a few friends they know that identify in the LGBT spectrum and thus are more accepting than some older folks.

Oh and congrats on starting hrt.

Paula

Link to comment
Guest Dani4Life

Thanks everyone. The way I see it though, is that I had to do this. I really don't feel like courage applied because my identity isn't something I planned on hiding any longer, it wasn't something I could hide any longer. I didn't spend the past year trying to get on HRT just to keep hiding from everyone :P

I owe it all to this site though. I owe my entire life to this site. It was around this time last year that I started chatting in the live chat actually. You have all been here for me every step of the way and I couldn't be more thankful than that. Whenever I needed help someone was there... whether it was coming out to my parents, or even just dealing with depression. If it wasn't for the chat room I wouldn't have met the person who told me of the existence of the LGBT health clinic I'm going to (which is how I'm getting my HRT)

Link to comment

First I want to congratulate you on your coming out success.

And as to the help that you have gotten here - that is what Laura's is all about - the friendships and love all grow out of the caring and support that the site was founded to supply - it was a gradual but inevitable evolution to the wonderful place that this has become, from Laura's dream of stopping Transgendered suicides to adding in a loving and safe environment where young and old can flourish - it is a work in progress and each new member plays a part - weaves their own thread through this tapestry and adds to its beauty.

Dani, you may not be aware of how much you have helped others - not always through grand gestures but by being there when others need you and posting of positive outcomes like this - you give hope - so I want t o thank you.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 170 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • SamC
    • AmandaJoy
    • April Marie
    • Mirrabooka
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,082
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Newest Member
    Amberoni
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alex2022
      Alex2022
      (20 years old)
    2. cvincent
      cvincent
      (69 years old)
    3. Demorriana
      Demorriana
      (25 years old)
    4. forbiddenforest
      forbiddenforest
      (26 years old)
    5. LoganXB
      LoganXB
  • Posts

    • Mirrabooka
      Yep, I can see that too, especially if satire goes wrong.  I can totally understand why the uneducated hoi polloi think that gender identity and sexual preference (and now, pedophilia) are one and the same, and it weaponizes their bigotry. I touched on this in another thread recently when I asked the question whether the LGBTQIA+ umbrella was actually too inclusive and should be split, in an attempt to stop this sort of nonsense. I don't know the answer; while I think it is important for non-cis and non-het folk to band together, it leaves us wide open to attack.
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!   Sorry I've been absent so much. I truly miss the interaction with you all.    We have a new yellow Lab female puppy in the house as of Saturday so it's a challenge to find time to be here as we get her settled into a schedule, work on housebreaking and training, etc.    So, I'll check in as I can...when I can get a few minutes as she sleeps.   She slept 6 hours last night so we're making progress and we've been attentive to her schedule so no accidents in the house as of now.   She's consistently following the Sit command already - the wonder of puppy treats.    Be safe!!
    • April Marie
      New puppy. New schedule for now.
    • KatieSC
      Yeah, it is a real treat trying to combat the effects of an unwanted male puberty, or unwanted female puberty. Who will supply these kids with funding when they try to transition as adults? Insurance companies do everything they can to weasel out of paying for facial surgery, voice/speech therapy/voice surgery, and electrolysis. Not to mention the pain we all go through with these procedures that we may not have to endure as much with proper care at an early age. I cringe at what the next trans generations are going to face. The governor and his ilk, are typical of these super-majority R led states. Unless there is a huge change in the next 6 months, I am fearful of where things are heading. I feel like more bad stuff will unfold. I do not think they are done crucifying us. 
    • Ladypcnj
      Feels like I'm walking on eggshells, when I'm the nicest, kindest hearted person anyone would hang out with. 
    • Davie
      Cool. We had none in Boston, but my sister-in-law took this on an island near Seattle,  
    • Davie
      Cool. We had none in Boston, but my sister-in-law took this on an island near Seattle,  
    • Davie
      Cool. We had none in Boston, but my sister-in-law took this on an island near Seattle,
    • Heather Shay
    • Willow
      Good morning    Work day today, no pool time, and no dress.  Just a uniform top and slacks.   Thank you for asking about my wife, @Ashley0616 , she is improving all the time and getting anxious to be rid of the med vac.  She keeps telling people a couple mor weeks be even with the speed at which she is recovering, I think that is more wishful than reality.   i received both compliments about my dress as well as my ability to speak before the congregation.  My little frog was right there with me but then he is a permanent resident in my voice.  Some days worse than others and I never know until I start speaking.  Maybe I need a frog exorcism.  Oh our church doesn’t do that.  Shucks.   well the humidity is coming back today along with possible rain and warmer weather.   I guess a lot of you are getting hit with smoke from Canada again this year. I recall last year you could see and smell it here.  It a shame to loose so many trees when we need them for climate control.  I was surprised to learn the South Carolina was the largest producer of wood in the states. We have a great deal of wet and swamp land that the plant and harvest and plant again.  While some makes it to the mills to become construction material, mose goes to one of several paper mills.  Those trees are clear cut and trucked to the mills to be cleaned mulched and processed along with recycled paper.the closest mill to here makes brown board which become packaging material like corrugated cardboard.   i guess we have rather ideal conditions for southern pine tree growing.  That along with cotton, rice indigo, tobacco and cash food crops fruits and vegitables and pecans, can’t forget the nuts.  You can take that more than one way and be right.   enjoy you day whether at work or at play.   Willow
    • Heather Shay
      Have you set any summer plans yet?
    • MirandaB
      I wasn't really aware of an emotional roller coaster possiblity when I started.    A few days in I realized i had been living with some tension that I was able to ignore until it went away. One morning it was just 'why I do I feel better than usual'?   So I googled around and found that it was possible to have such a result, I was thinking it would just take time for physical effects to work on my emotions.   Some talk about finally being able to cry, I have always been an excellent crier, so on HRT I cry REALLY hard.   But laughing was never really that easy for me, and now I laugh out loud way more often. Love that part of the roller coaster. 
    • Heather Shay
      Met dear friend felt in heaven.
    • Heather Shay
      Satisfaction Satisfaction. The feeling when something meets or exceeds your expectation. You feel satisfaction when you expected to get something, and then got it.
    • Heather Shay
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...