Interconnectedness - More

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Penny and I continue on this (edited)

Dear Lizzy,

Thank you for replying so fully and promptly to my question. I needed time to ponder it without interruption before sending this.

We cannot enter into the minds of others; though if you live with someone for long enough, as I have, you can kind of predict which channels they will follow in their thinking. Being (as far as I know) fuelled by testostrone, as you put it, I cannot envisage what effects, intellectual and emotional, oestrogen would have on me.

What I do know is that I have never followed the herd in my attittudes and utterances.... (examples - edited for privacy)

I feel that many 'male' behaviours that you abhor are laid on us by our culture rather than intrinsic to the beast. I believe it is a question of how open you let yourself be to what is going on around you.

(examples - edited for privacy)

I get a surge of discomfort when people I know describe injuries they have suffered.

I believe we all have to learn to love. I feel it is matter of personal development and maturity rather than the preserve of a particular gender.

But then the fact that I try to contribute to Laura's Playground means that I probably don't have a typical male brain, if there is such a thing. I now recognise a strong female component in my being. It's uncomfortable and I haven't resolved its full extent and consequences but I wouldn't have it any other way. I believe we all need to find our own balance between ying and yan.

I must go now; it is getting light.

Affectionately yours,

Penny

[/quote

Penny

As you probably realize by reading my postings, I paint with a wide brush. There is a purpose to that I think, I am actually writing not only to the author of the original TOPIC but to all the readers. But ithat method can insult people's intelligence sometimes, and I apologise for that. On occasion I come upon those with a higher vision of life, usually in tune with my thoughts. It is amazing how we feel that people who are like-minded are smarter than average? But that is a whole 'nother direction for discussion.

YES

I use the cliche' and stereotyped (really two different adjectives) approach to describing the attributes of "men" mainly for effect. I can only touch upon the true feelings of natal women, as I am still learning what it truly is to live as one - to be in that totally female position of thinking, a whole lot of energy expended to protect my female biology.

Enough on that - I digress!

But the essence of the interconnectedness that I feel now is NOT a cliche' - or... well.. an exaggeration. I have talked with both natal women and with other transgirls (those on the HRT - pre or post op makes little difference)...

We all seem to agree. (Well those with even the tiniest touch of self-awareness): There is an interconnedness of life - a 'God knows the death of a single sparrow" type thing. We see everything as interworking with everything else.

Example

It really opens your eyes when you realize the most hateful, transphobic person in the world is diminishing the value of us all! It takes a hunded good deeds to offset one evil action, well, figuratively speaking, but you get the point - one bad, a lotta good to overcome it!

Another example

If a person does even a slightly nasty thing, say spit in the street, a hundred people see that and feel the world is a potential sewer, so why put that empty soft drink can in the trash bin. You see the broad brush I use? Well that last example is not thought out maybe, but is indicitive of where I am trying to go! "I am one woman on a crusade for decency!' Thats what that says, I think. This is true maybe to a much lesser degree... but I am really trying to tell the reader, watch what you do - it affects EVERYTHING.

And global examples - for a hunded - read today's newpape!

Do you see how the HRT will affect you? Am I reading you correctly on that? It can only say, like you, I was never that feminine as a boy, but never that masculine either. I was NOT a rebel by any stretch of the imagination, I was a shy observer of life. Like you some things affected me in ways I could not understand, move me to great emotional highs, highs I didn't see in the people around me. It was a gift of the strangest sort, because it made me different. And being different from the crowd... well... it can get you lynched!

Old school - olden times - 'witches' for example - wise women, some men too - knowing how to prevent the spread of disease by using soap, simple hygine, as an example - would be witchcraft - get you sewen up in a bag and dumped in a river - or burned at the stake. Only special manipulation, and a good selection of bullhocky (now called 'spin") would get you through the questioning and the wondering, of WHAT IS GOING ON? - something is differnt with that person. Seem familiar? Well again, another opinion - our scientific knowledge has already melded with witchcraft. Only today, if you don't understand? Look it up on Wikipedia! HA!

So yes- if I am answering correctly - INTERCONNECTEDNESS - it will overtake you as you develop that woman's life view. We transsexual MTF in transition initially think we know what will happen from the HRT - but - we really don't have a clue.

I truly believe I have always had a woman's mindset. That mixed with my male 'play acting' was giving me a duality. And that turned out to be partially true. BUT what I now know is I have always had a female mindset but it was improperly fueled. The estrogen, aided by the T-blockers?

New world. An INTECONNECTED world.

The male world view fades away...

Elizabeth