Leanne's Story

[Guest xxLeannexx]

Hi, I'm Leanne or should I say want to be...

My body tells me I'm a boy, my mind tells me otherwise

This is my story:

My parents are divorced and I live with my mum and regular see my grandparents (mums parents), no contact with my dads side, we dont speak, my choice. But thats a different story.

I was 9 - 10 years old and my mum started to leave me in the house on my own for about 1 hour while she went shopping for food in the town, I then started to think what I could do while she was gone. I went in her bedroom, opened up her wardrobe and thought instantly, this is me. I took out a skirt and put it on, a little big for a 9 - 10 year old but my mum is small so it was just about right if I tucked my T-shirt in. I then discovered me. When I thought she'd be back I'd take off the skirt and put it back in the wardrobe, taking care to put it back exactly as I found it.

I continued this for a long time, some times it would be a top instead of the skirt and sometimes it would be both. I would ask mum to call me sometimes when she was on her way back, my excuse was I want to have the door locked, occasionally she forgot and knocked as I was dressed, my excuse was I was stuck on the toilet. (hey, it worked).

At about 13 when we were due to go to the nearby city to do some bigger shopping which would take about 4 hours I decided to stay at home just to crossdress, I'd say I didn't fancy going and it would be fine. I'd wear dresses, skirts, tops, jewellery. I'd switch until I found a match I loved. It would usually be the girly stuff.

At 15 my mum met someone down south and she'd stay for 2 nights, I had the option to go to my grandparents to sleep but again I chose not to, this time as well as putting on my favourite mini skirt and top and jewellery, I thought I need make up, so I put on the power, the eye shadow/liner, lipgloss, mascara, even polished my nails. I didnt look tarty, it wasn't overdone, just enough to make me look like a girl, and thats when I met Leanne.

Any time possible I become Leanne, but I want to be Leanne for ever not just when I can, although my family are all I have and they are very closed minded and would die if the knew. My mum doesn't go down south no more, it didn't work out, it wasn't really a relationship it was more friendship but they clashed and that was it. I am 17 now and want to talk to people about their lives and what advice we can exchange.

Thank you for reading, look forward to hearing from you

Leanne xxx

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hello, Leanne!

Welcome to the Playground!

I'm Donna Jean and I'll get you some nice hot coco and a plate of Sally's cookies and then you can sit and relax a bit!

Now, please take a minute to read the forum rules..there's a link at the top of most pages...OK?

And, we moderate these forums to keep it safe for everyone!

I'm glad that you are looking for friendship and advice...

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Leanne!

I think you will find this site to be friendly and helpful. We have lovely people here and we treat each other like family. Many if not most of

us have experiences similar to yours. I too went into my mother's closet in my early teens and discovered the true me. But back then (in the

stone age ) I had no place like this to turn to for information and support. So you are indeed a lucky girl.

Please check out the Chat Rooms too when you have time. It requires a separate registration but its well worth the effort. Lots of fun stuff over there.

Have fun, make friends, and learn. I look forward to seeing more of your posts.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Leanne

I have a story like that! Well - in the USA of course and my parents didn't separate - just fought a lot. and I am older... and... well you get the idea! GRIN

And yes - I loved to dress as I thought I should - to be at peace for an hour or so as I really was.

And you are at the right place here. You are probably gender dysphoric - which means you feel differently about what you are - compared to what you look like. It can have a hundred variations. A therapist can direct you - one that is trained in gender dysphoria. But at your age you would need the support of your parents - and you don't seem ready for that.

My advice is to know that what you are is perfectly okay. You just be careful not to get depressed or caught up in self diapproval. When you get empowered (read that as having money) you can do more about it.

Look around here at Laura's and see how people handle their lives - and ask questions if you have them. Also, the teen forum is a great place to talk with your peers - a lot of GB people here too - in fact one of our top admin people is from Great Britian.

So WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME!

Lizzy

[Sally]

Hello Leanne,

I am so happy to see you here, I hope you like it as much as I do.

It is more of a family than just an Internet site.

So relax and ask questions but always feel free to be yourself.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Leanna,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We have Cross Dressers meetings -Tues 8pm est, and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Guest Yinyang Mist]

This is a great place to be in your shoes. I can relate to your story and its not bad at all. The great thing is just finding out and understanding that your fine, your ok, your inner self is just breaking through the tough shell that has been shaped for you by others. They may even understand, who knows yet but if your going to take it steady, take it slow. If you read through this forum you will see what I mean because I read your story often, in many others as well.

There is a sweet chat room with much CD influence as well, working to make myself at home there : )

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

Welcome to Laura's

[Guest ricka]

Hi and welcome to our family here at Laura's. Sweetie your story isn't so different than the stories of many others here. You are already on your journey and here you will find love, support and understanding as you find your own way.

Hugs, Ricka