Frustrated..

[Guest Fredsmydog1]

So at college our email system is based on your legal name. So if you were lagally "John Smith" to email that person you would type in "John Smith" and hit send. Well because I haven't legally changed my name yet, I always tell people the school messed up and I dont have a school email, and give them a private one so I don't feel really uncomfortable with 2 names. It's worked out fine so far in the semester. The only people that send me emails under my legal name are the RA's or teachers. But recently I've been getting a few emails from clubs that I've joined or from people in my classes and I have no idea how they would know my name. I sign up for everything as Andrew and I've only told three very close friends that Im sure haven't told anyone. Im just frustrated and not sure how people keep finding this out. ugh..

[Guest Donna Jean]

Andrew.....

Why don't you send an e-mail to the IT admin (whoever handles the e-mail) and let them know....maybe something can be done before it gets totally out of hand!

Good Luck, Hon!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Work hard to maintain your chosen identity, whatever it takes. Don't cave - be insistant - you may be fighting for a long time, but the end result is worth it!

My opinion

Lizzy

[Guest My_Genesis]

I agree with DJ. And maybe you could explain the issue to the school, of being trans, so that they understand where you're coming from, then maybe you'll have a better chance at them helping you out?

[Guest Evan_J]

Andrew.....

Why don't you send an e-mail to the IT admin (whoever handles the e-mail) and let them know....maybe something can be done before it gets totally out of hand!

Good Luck, Hon!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

Definately take this advice. Many a transdude has been happily surprised at what could be worked out. But you gotta approach the thing, not bury yourself away.

[Guest Fredsmydog1]

I went down and talked to them and they basically told me there was nothing they could do. Becuase it's not my legal name yet, they see it as sort of a nickname and can't change it. ugh

thanks for all the advice though. it think im going to email back the people that email me saying that I don't use this and maybe inquire about how they got the email address. hopefully after this summer though, i can get the name thing legally changed so i wont have this problem in the fall..

[Guest Bunny]

I'd talk to an advisor if you have a very understanding and helpful one. They might be able to help you find a loophole to getting your user name changed to your chosen name.

I mean, if you're living as male at school, going by your chosen name to everyone and ect you could probably argue it either a) some twisted form of harassment or have therapist argue that its not good for your mental health to have to deal with explaining the difference between name you go by and name thats your email. It works shockingly often. Or well, doctors/therapist notes have for everyone I know for things that are just as small and far larger issues.

Worst case, you still have to wait for legal name change.

-Jaden

[Guest Liam]

I'd talk to an advisor if you have a very understanding and helpful one. They might be able to help you find a loophole to getting your user name changed to your chosen name.

I mean, if you're living as male at school, going by your chosen name to everyone and ect you could probably argue it either a) some twisted form of harassment or have therapist argue that its not good for your mental health to have to deal with explaining the difference between name you go by and name thats your email. It works shockingly often. Or well, doctors/therapist notes have for everyone I know for things that are just as small and far larger issues.

Worst case, you still have to wait for legal name change.

-Jaden

I'm with Jaden on this one. Before I got my name legally changed, I was able to find some allies in the registrar's office and the student life office who were able to change my name in the school's system, even though there was no policy in place about it before. I ran into some problems when I started a work-study job at school, because they needed my legal name in the system (and it's one big monolithic system here, so if my name changed in one place, it had to change everywhere), but after a while, and with the help of some faculty and staff who were on my side, things worked out and I was able to be listed as Liam pretty much everywhere. Does your school list gender identity under its nondiscrimination statement? If so, you can use that to your advantage - the school is technically discriminating against you by not allowing you to use the name that corresponds with your gender identity.

[Guest Girl Emily]

Don't give up dear,

Have you talked to the system administrator personally. The people in the office probably don't have the authority to help you. Go to the mental health clinic and explain to a counselor how upsetting and disruptive the situation has become. After the recent rash of school shootings the mental health clinics have more authority to effect changes. Remember you are a paying customer.

The wonderful thing about universities is how many different ways you can pressure the machine to accommodate your unique needs.

Only you can advocate for your right to be you. Many times the cisgender community doesn't understand how their policies affect us. The anti-discrimination statements are guidelines on how to resolve problems such as yours when brought to the proper authority.

College is more than what you learn in the classroom. You will gain much more beyond a proper email address if you pursue this to the university president if need be.

Huggs,