Hello And Seeking Advice

[Guest lorddillon]

Hi There,

Hello to everyone!! I am new to these forums, but I am extremely happy to have found them!

So, I have recently come to terms with the fact that I am male and have been living in the wrong gendered body for the past 30-odd years. I am at the point where I really need to do something about it and it is becoming an obsession. I spend a couple of hours on-line every day looking at different sites and gathering all the information that I can, and just dreaming about when I can transition.

I am in grad school and do not have a lot of money, but could probably afford T if I could get a prescription. I wouldn't be able to afford top surgery for a couple of years, and am not sure that I would do bottom surgery, but I can make that decision later. I am going to call this week and make an appointment with a counselor - any stories or bits of advice would be helpful.

So, anyone here in grad school when transitioning? Any advice or tips? Did your student health insurance cover the T shots?

A major concern that I have is that I may have to travel to conferences and such, I hear its hard to get a passport? On the bright side, I found that the state I was born in will change the sex on my birth certificate and issue me a new one (small victories) when the time comes.

And, I don't want to change my name - I think it is sufficiently androgynous to pass as male - anyone run across this before? Would it be a problem.

Sorry for the long post - I am so full of questions that I can't contain myself. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Guest Huff]

Hi!

Welcome. I'm a quasi-grad student (ie working on post-bacc pre-reqs before I can actually get into my grad program).

I'd say that before you have to worry too much about passports and testosterone, etc. there's at least a few months of counseling to do. If the school is one that has student health services right on campus, you have a better shot of them covering you if you can get one of the university doctors to perscribe for you. In any case, T is not very expensive as drugs go ($30-$50 per month). You've got some time right now to investigate, check things out, and get a little proactive. Universities tend to be fairly liberal, so you shouldn't face much discrimination and if you do... be in contact with the university's GLBT support group, as many of them seem to be pushing for trans issues on campus. The group at my school was uber-excited when I showed up to a meeting... a real, live Transgender. wow! Hopefully you'll get as positive a reception as I did.

About passports... apparently it's easier if you've never had one before than to try and change the gender on it, as they require letters from surgeons. If you anticipate traveling in and out of the country before you can have surgery, I'd do the following: 1. keep your driver's licence as 'F' (uncomfortable as that it is) so that you have matching identification documents 2. make sure the picture on the driver's lisence LOOKS LIKE YOU (update picture as necessary as you transition on T) and 3. carry a letter signed by your therapist on your person stating that you are in the process of transition according to the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care and should be treated as and allowed to use male facilities, which basically protects you from beign arrested for voyerism and also demonstrates that you are indeed a transsexual, explaining the discrepancy between your appearance and the gender marker on your ID. I have one small enough to fit in my wallet that I carry with me for emergency. The basic idea is that you have to convince customs officers that you are who your IDs say that you are and not some terroist/illegal immigrant guy trying to use a girl's passport to enter the country. A bit of a hassle, perhaps, but do-able.

Hope that gives you a place to go from.

MK

[Guest lorddillon]

Thanks Huff (MK),

I appreciate the advice. I called the counseling center here at the uni and they referred me to an outside counselor since I wasn't in imminent danger of hurting myself or others. Since they referred me my student health ins should pay for it. And, bonus, I called to make an appointment with the counselor and she had a cancellation and so my appointment is for TODAY! So, I'm thrilled and a bit scared at the same time.