Normal To Dislike Your "junk"?

[Guest GinaBrandt]

I apologize if this thread is too "adult" for a forum we're trying to keep PG, I'm trying to use vague phrases and all but I'll understand if this is closed/deleted

Anyway..

For a solid.. 8 years or so I was pretty ok with my natural, male genitals. I reasoned that I couldn't stand how they looked but they brought so much fun, who cares?

In the months since I've started thinking about all this stuff, that's kind of gone away. Something or other will excite me and a minute or two later I'll become acutely aware of what's physically going on down there, which kills any kind of "mood" I'm in. It's all very strange, I've always been (at best) mildly unhappy in a male body but never before have I actually been repulsed by it.

Is this at all normal for anyone here? Can't wait for therapy next week, I'm sorry to ask so many "Have you gone through this? Is this bad? How do you deal with this? And this?" kind of questions. Thanks for putting up with me in the meantime

Love and Hugs,

Gina

[Guest N. Jane]

At least as far back as age 3 (so I am told) I was embarrassed by "my junk". By age 14 it was in serious danger of getting cut off! It was actually on the chopping block more than once, cleaver in hand, but I couldn't figure out how to do it and not bleed to death! I didn't want to die - not then - that came later. Turns out that "junk" came in handy for making better "junk"

[Guest Donna Jean]

Yes, Honey......

It's very common in our line of work (Trans) to want to lose that stuff...

Nothing new at all...

And that's often a part of our Disphoria....needing to rid ourselves of that stuff and get the right equipment!

Many of us tried or contemplated getting rid of it over the years before we understood that it's used to make the other stuff!

So, conversely, I'm happy at this point in my life to have my junk...without it I'd have very few options down there!

Donna Jean

[Guest angie]

I tried to rip the offending organs off myself at 8.

And as time in role progresses,I am finding my hatred

of the existing tissue between my legs has only become

more intense. That stuff down there does not belong on

me,want no part of it,is only in the way of the true cleft

that is supposed to,and will, exist there.

Angelique

[Guest Girl Emily]

Gina,

I have only recently left the cloud of denial that has been my home for 24 years. In that denial I was okay with the junk, but now, the last 6 months and especially over the last month the dislike for it grows. SRS is definitely in my future.

Huggs,

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Yup

We go from ignoring it - to extremes of hating it. It's so 'there' sometimes!

FTM really seem to have that problem because they are 'identified' so easily in society by their sexual characteristics rather than just being human beings. Also menstration is a constant repeat visitor telling these guys "na na na nahna - you have a woman's body!'

We MTF need the penis for inversion to complete vaginaplasty - so what you have - you may be glad you saved, later on.

HINT

Moderators are not censorers. The 'censorbot' is a program that auto matically searches gets rid of the cruder words. BUT Laura and the administration decided a long time ago to alloy the use of the proper nouns. Penis is allowed, Vagina is allowed. Testicles is allowed. Breast is allowed.

So - don't self-censor yourselves too much. Using legitimate words for our male and female anatomy is an allowed use for descriptions and questions - and keeps things clearer. Nothing wrong with that.

Lizzy

[Guest angie]

Once an FTM is on hormone therapy their menstration stops.

Even without the hysterectomy. But for whatever reason there

is an interruption in their hormones,it comes right back. And know

for a fact how much it really irritates and bothers them. Like us

wanting to lose the T factory,they want the E factory gone.

[Guest SusanKG]

Absolutely. If you like the male equipment, you're not transgendered; if you tolerate it you are adapting to circumstances; if you hate it you may be transgendered. I guess I'm a split personality - I tolerate the one item, it does serve a purpose in elimination, provides pleasure, at least for me, and will be construction material for the inny coming my way. The other two items, not so much. They're lumpy, get in the way and serve no purpose for me. Hating them might be a bit much to describe my attitude toward them, but I sure will be glad when they make the one-way trip to the landfill.

SusanKG

[Guest ricka]

Well it would certainly seem normal to dislike and even feel revulsion about our male genitalia as transwomen. The simple fact is we all wished we had been born with vaginas instead of penises. And while surgery is an option for some it is not a chosen option for all. Do not underestimate our adaptive mental powers as women to deal with the genitalia we were born with on an emotional level and the effect this has on us on a physiological level. Visualization has worked effectively for me. I visualize my genitalia retracting inside themselves so that in my pubic area I feel female. This has worked well for me. I almost never have erections and I do not ejaculate when I orgasm and I have to sit down to urinate. The size of my penis has shrank significantly so that my appearance of my gentitalia is more androgenous than male. And this without hormones.

hugs, Ricka

[Guest Donna Jean]

Ricka.....

My equipment has greatly reduced in size, too..

But that's being on hormones...

And, although that is somewhat more comforting to my dysphoria..I'm opting for the SRS and all the way!

Now, you've posted before about you development with breasts and such and you're not even on HRT....

Have you ever had your "Estrogen" levels checked? I'm just curious (Read: nosey)...

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest ricka]

Donna Jean---Sweetie I don't consider your question nosey at all! It's a privilege to be able to share openly with each other as women about our bodies. I do have large breasts and I have never been on hormones. Although I have not had my estrogen levels ever checked I am assuming my body naturally produces a lot of estrogen. I am blessed with an overall female body shape and smooth soft skin---other indications that I have a naturally high estrogen level. I may have mentioned this before but I really did experience dysphoria about my body as a male but as a woman I do not. For me loving my body is all about accepting myself as a woman. I am by no means ruling out having surgery in the future---I would love to have a vagina, but for today I am happy just to be the woman I am.

Hugs, Ricka

[Guest TheAetherealMeadow]

I don't think it's necessary for trans people to hate their genitals. I kind of go back and forth- sometimes I hate them, other times I don't care. The way I see it, a penis is just tissue. Just because I have a penis doesn't mean I'm any less of a woman. All it means is that I have an outie instead of an innie, nothing more. I think the main problem comes from society. It's because that tissue causes society to view you differently is why trans people hate their genitals. I think the whole "all trans women need to have SRS in order to be happy" view just promotes cissexism. While a lot of trans women do feel that way, some do not, and some feel comfortable with their genitals and are simply unhappy with the way society treats them for having a penis.

Also, I tend to feel far more uncomfortable with secondary sex characteristics (facial hair, Adam's apple, etc.) because they make it harder for me to express my gender identity, whereas my genitals are covered by clothing and don't hinder my gender expression in the same way as secondary sex characteristics do.

[Guest CrimsonEdge]

I don't have much of a problem with lack of "junk" nor do I have very serious problem with breasts cause I've never worn a bra in my life and the kind of tshirts I wear tend to make me look quite flat. What REALLY bothers me are the size of my thighs and hips, my short stature and shoulders, even though they're broad compared to other girls my age.

[Guest TracieV3]

I apologize if this thread is too "adult" for a forum we're trying to keep PG, I'm trying to use vague phrases and all but I'll understand if this is closed/deleted

Anyway..

For a solid.. 8 years or so I was pretty ok with my natural, male genitals. I reasoned that I couldn't stand how they looked but they brought so much fun, who cares?

In the months since I've started thinking about all this stuff, that's kind of gone away. Something or other will excite me and a minute or two later I'll become acutely aware of what's physically going on down there, which kills any kind of "mood" I'm in. It's all very strange, I've always been (at best) mildly unhappy in a male body but never before have I actually been repulsed by it.

Is this at all normal for anyone here? Can't wait for therapy next week, I'm sorry to ask so many "Have you gone through this? Is this bad? How do you deal with this? And this?" kind of questions. Thanks for putting up with me in the meantime

Love and Hugs,

Gina

Gina, girl, you are not alone on this. I hate my male genitalia as well. Actually, 'hate', is not a strong enough word. Loath would be a better word.

When I was 13 years old, I came within literally an inch of trying to castrate myself with an x-acto knife.

Note, if I had known everything then, that I know now, about puberty and transgender information, I would have gone through with it.

The only reason, besides it hurting a lot, that I have not gotten my male genitalia is that they are used to construct female genitalia with SRS.

I have considered having a orchiectomy done, but I don't have the thousand or so dollars get it done.

Gina, I hope it helps you in knowing that you are not alone in such feelings.

TracieV3

[Guest ricka]

We MTF need the penis for inversion to complete vaginaplasty - so what you have - you may be glad you saved, later on.

Lizzy

What we have between our legs then is the essential raw material that is needed to manufacture the finished product!

Hugs, Ricka