Therapist

[Guest tori319]

So I went to the therapist today and she turned out to completely lack understanding for someone in my situation.We talked about being trans and what it felt like but, instead of her helping me I felt like I was educating her.We then talked about my masculine cover and how that has caused me to get into fights with guys to maintain a certain pride.She told me I should be more passive and that there was a different kind of strength, which I kind of agreed with.I then told her that I would try not to be so aggressive( which is going to be tough) because as a woman I won't have as much strength and it could do more harm then good,but I also told her that if someone put their hands on me I'm not going to just stand there I'm going to fight back because I was raised to defend myself and If I ever had to and I don't see why being a woman means being weak.When I told her this she asked me If maybe I was raised this way because I was black and I didn't really know to respond because I'm not ghetto, I was raised in a educated middle class family.Well after that we practiced deep breathing exercises and she told me she'd contact another therapist at Kaiser who specialized in transitioning.So yeah, the fun never stops.

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

Tori

You can't get through life and especially transition being aggressive with people the only thing that will do is land you in jail and since you already have two strikes against you it won't be a pretty picture. We have to learn to educate people in our process of transition because if we don't the only impression they have of us is what the media tries to portray. Be strong but withhold any punch's sweetie you'll find yourself in a better place for it.

As to your therapist hopefully they will find you someone that will help you in your transition, but you need to listen to the things this one is telling you. There only trying to help you and I think you know that. This is a hard road to walk and you just don't need to make it harder on yourself.

Take Care

Charlene Leona

[Guest tori319]

I appreciate what your saying but I don't walk around with a chip on my shoulder. I ts just that hen people attack me I find it difficult to just do nothing.

[Guest viv]

Hello Hun, life is tough and we need to be able to look after ourselves ,,totally with you on that .

Bet tho if you got your hands on your local newspaper headlines re the past twelve months and

read the stuff the Police had to deal with most would involve men . Why mostly men ?? men are

aggressive hun,,its in their nature ,,women turn the other cheek - but , and this is important ,

women turn around - walk away and still keep their pride intact . For me thats to a large degree

both hormonal AND common sense ,,,use the pen /not the sword . Finding yourself in the middle

of trouble ,,,well, both men and women get assaulted every day of the week and cannot or will

not fight back and so you get beat on . We hope none of this happens to us and if it does we got

to brush our selves down and hope for no repeats . Please try to put that sort of stuff out of your

head Hun , you will be all the better for it ,,,you know the saying "" careful what you wish for "" .

I wish peace on you ,,,luv,viv

[Carolyn Marie]

Tori, it does sound like this therapist is trying to do right by you, so I would give her more of a chance. Getting such specialized therapy from an HMO

is going to be tricky, so let it play itself out a bit. They will be learning from you as much as you learn from them.

I also agree with Viv and Charlene. If you're physically attacked, you can and should protect yourself. But altercations don't usually start with a fist

to a face; they usually begin with words. Learn how to diffuse the verbal battle, and it shouldn't get as far as they physical battle.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Donna Jean]

I also agree with Viv and Charlene. If you're physically attacked, you can and should protect yourself. But altercations don't usually start with a fist

to a face; they usually begin with words. Learn how to diffuse the verbal battle, and it shouldn't get as far as they physical battle.

Carolyn Marie

Tori.....

I have to agree with Carolyn on this....

Someone usually doesn't just walk up and get physical...it's usually verbal first...and that's the point that you walk away, pride intact!

BUT!

If after trying to diffuse the situation and you get manhandled, I advocate protecting myself the best way possible.

But, Being 15 months on HRT, I'm probably gonna get my butt kicked!

Always, ALWAYS try to get out of these situations early...Know when to keep your mouth shut and NEVER flip a guy off! Nothing gets Testosterone flowing in a guy like that!

Good luck, Baby...

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest tori319]

Thanks for the feedback.