Prom Double Identity

[Guest ChalenAustin]

Just wondering what all the kind, wise people thought I should do!

Ok, last year I went to a gay prom and it was my first dance, and it was PERFECT!

I didn't know a soul but got along with everyone and danced with pretty much everybody at least once and made two very good friends before the night was done.

Now, I was graduating then and this was the first and last 'horra" I expected to get out of it, but this year one of the friends I made then, is graduating and really wants me to go with him to prom as myself this time.

Last year I had on a fabulous dress and it was a true Cinderella moment fairy tale night.

This year I have a totally different dress that I could wear (though not as huge a statement) and on the other hand I have a halfway decent suit. My friend wants me to wear the suit and go in total drag. Makeup and everything, and go as myself.

I'm afraid to go out in public as myself though and I know I can be pretty and not raise an eyebrow in my new dress even though it's kinda goes back to the living manican feeling again.

I can't quite decide what to do.

I'm scared to present as myself (and I do the makeup Gosh darned good!) but I know the girly prom princess is the easier way out.

She would still be talked about and remembered as the unoffical Prom Queen. (we don't actually have a prom king and queen bc it's confusing with all the gender blending and nobody wanted to insult anybody else but you get the point!)

Do I chalk it up to a learning experience or do it when I'm more confident? (something I've got to work alot harder on)

Thakn you in advance!

[Guest Pól]

I've no advice for you since I skipped the debs my year, but congrats on getting the date and hopefully someone else can help!

[Guest Girl Emily]

ChalenAustin,

I think you should go as yourself. You will be in a safe environment with a close friend the night can be a memory for you both.

Huggs,

[Guest ChalenAustin]

Thanks Emily and Pol.

I don't know why I'm so worried about it!

I won't see that friend for quite awhile after the prom as he's going off to college far, far, away.

Thanks again

[Carolyn Marie]

Chalen, I agree with Emily. I think you're ready to greet the world, or at least a small part of it, as the real you.

I'm wondering, though, why wear makeup with a suit?" Why not just go totally as a guy? Maybe I just don't quite get it, but if I wanted

to present as a man, I would just do that and not something in between. Just my thoughts on it.

Be comfortable and at ease, however you go, have fun and have a memorable night.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Evan_J]

<-- Has no opinion (write that down, it doesn't happen very often) and is letting Chalen figure it out for himself.

On one hand it is a safe environment nice time for a "trial". On the other hand how can it really be "good" if you don't feel secure.

[Guest Leigh]

seems to me that if its a gay prom with plenty of gender bending that it would be the perfect place to go in a suit as yourself.

no reason to take a step backward when you can take one forward.

i hope you go and have fun.

peace&love

leigh

[Guest ChalenAustin]

Thanks everybody!

It would be drag king makeup. I could do alittle bit of shadow depth casting and try my hand at a faint stuble or facial hair.

I usually think I pass pretty well but the rest of the world isn't fooled so I figured I'd have to step it up somehow if I wanted to be taken seriously as a dude!

If it was just me I probably wouldn't go a second time and if I did I'd wear the dress figuring how those daysare already numbered.

Isn't being a kid fun?! LOL!

Seriously though, and thank you to Evan_J, Carolyn Marie and Liegh again, too!

Mental note: 5/3/10 Evan_J had no opinion on something. Gotta have a sense of humor!

[Guest My_Genesis]

Well I never went to my prom but... if it were me I'd either go as myself or not go at all. But that's because I hate wearing dresses and girls' clothes. Yes I've been wearing girls' clothes since I've only recently been out to people so I didn't want anyone to see me in guys' clothes - like what you're saying about the dress - but still, I never dressed up. Always wore unisex-looking clothing if it was girls' clothes. That way I didn't have to worry about people questioning why I'm wearing guys' clothes... and I was comfortable wearing them because they weren't girly clothes, they were more gender neutral. So I can't really relate in terms of you wanting to wear a dress. lol. I'd say go as yourself. But that's my subjective opinion. I agree with Evan though objectively speaking.