I Don't *want* To Use The Boys Restroom

[Guest Lynnx]

I don't want to use the boys restroom, but it weirds the girls out sometimes when i do.

A little background on me: I'm not planning to change my body in any way. I just wears boys clothes, and cut my hair short, and do boys things. Sometimes i even pass on first glance if i've got a new hair cut and i'm wearing strictly boys clothes... not unisex clothes.

Since i will never be a male-bodied person, it makes *me* uncomfortable: the idea of using a public restroom for male-bodied persons. i'm not afraid for my safety in using the males restroom; i just do not feel bad using the female restroom.

But i feel bad when i weird the girls out.

I know the only thing to do is make use of as many unisex and single person restrooms as i can. I just wondered if i'm the only one who feels like this. ??

[Guest]

Hi Lynnx,

It's got to be the hardest part of transitioning. It's the time when you and those around you are feeling vulnerable and much more sensitive about safety. I'm taking a 300mile drive in June and so want to go as myself. But those huge rest areas on the interstate are too scary.

I'm with you - find the unisex and single restrooms. But hopefully others here have better ideas than I.

Love, Kat

[Guest Lynnx]

It's the time when you and those around you are feeling vulnerable and much more sensitive about safety.

But *i'm* not feeling uncomfortable about my safety, in either restroom. Maybe the girls, but can't really rape them. And when the girls realize that i'm not a male-bodied person, and become all apologetic about calling me a boy, that i really hate.

[gennee]

Lynnx, you probably pass very well and they see you as male.

Gennee

[Guest Lynnx]

ok. this is because of an incident yesterday. I had a couple other incidents like this.

yesterday i had just gotten my hair cut, so it was real short. I was wearing a collared mens shirt. I was about to go into a womens restroom. The girl coming out told me that this was the womans restroom, and the mens was over there. I stopped and said "well actually..." at which point she took a second glance, and was very apologetic.

Theres a law in Colorado says they can't kick me out of a men's restroom, it's just that i don't want to use it.

[Guest BeckyTG]

Hi Lynnx,

It's got to be the hardest part of transitioning. It's the time when you and those around you are feeling vulnerable and much more sensitive about safety. I'm taking a 300mile drive in June and so want to go as myself. But those huge rest areas on the interstate are too scary.

I'm with you - find the unisex and single restrooms. But hopefully others here have better ideas than I.

Love, Kat

Sweet Kat,

Hitch up those big girl panties and venture out. Follow the "Becky Guidelines" and look for Subway Sandwich shops--they're small with little restrooms, one-at-a-time and you can lock them. This will begin to give you confidence.

Start out around home if you need to. Since I've done this, I've gained the confidence and grace to go anywhere and really be comfortable. It's easy and empowering at the same time.

The big restrooms seem to be the easiest.

Hugs of encouragement,

Becky

[Guest JeanVier]

Lynnx:

I am also at an awkward stage with restrooms... Though I want to be perceived as male, though I trick myself into thinking I present as male, I have trouble going into male restrooms-- but I also have trouble with female restrooms. I do identify as FTM, but I think of my transition process as moving from an androgynous place to a male place, and I approach any restroom with trepidation that someone, of any gender, could look at me and accuse me of being in the wrong loo.

Right now, I am more often taken as female (ARG) than male, so I feel slightly more comfortable safety-wise with the women's loo (plus, as a side note, they are definitely more clean), but there is so much worry about it.

All the Starbucks's I have been in (East Coast, USA and London, UK) are single-person restrooms, and (random I know) Trader Joe's tend to have single-person all-gender loos. This is a great site for locating gender neutral loos-- Kat, you might want to check out this link as well.

-JV

[Guest]

Hi Jean,

As I feared - I plugged in the largest town along the road in and got zero! My trip is through pretty much 300 miles of nowhere. I know of a Starbucks about 250 miles out. Gotta find one more place along that road at the very least.

Kat