Well I Did It

[Jayme]

Tuesday I finally found the courage to come out after 17 years, Now I wish I hadn't.

What little confidence I had gained was shattered by one statement from my mom. "You need to get some Testosterone to fix your 'problem' ", she said that with out even blinking an eye. She discounted 17 years of feeling trapped behind an awful mask and didn't care how I felt about it. I had managed to build up my confidence by the positive reaction of all of my friends, and I was thinking my mother would be the same. How wrong was I, not only did she destroy my self confidence but to tell me these feelings I have been living with for the past 17 years were due to a hormone imbalance?! How cruel can a person be?

[MaryEllen]

Hi Jayme,

Yes, people can be cruel at times and it hurts even worse when it's your own family that's doing it. It sounds as if your mother is woefully ignorant of what being transsexual is. Would she be open to learning more about what transsexualism is? Perhaps giving her some literature on the subject might help. Even so, you have to be what you are. If your mother can't accept that, then it's her problem, not yours. I know that we all hope that our families will accept us but unfortunately, that doesn't always happen. Don't give up. You can overcome this.

MaryEllen

[Guest savagedm]

Jayme,

I received a similar statement from my own mother. Honestly, from experience, it is because she does not know how to react properly. At least that is what it was in my case. Keep strong and vigilant, though it hurts... in time she will come around. One thing I like to point out to people who say "correcting" hormonal imbalances by giving more T to biological males or more E to biological females, is that the human mind is already developed after the hormone wash with what gender identity it will have for the rest of it's life. Whether or not a hormone treatment will correct an imbalance will not fix your problem (again, at least in my experience)... simply put, damage done. The best we can do is work around whatever it is that causes us to be this way and do what it is that will bring true inner peace. Only you can decide what that is, I wish you the best on that! *hugs*

Good luck in dealing with your mother!

~Brooke

[Guest Michelle M]

Your mom is so totally wrong. Hormonal inbalances have nothing to do with gender identity. Here's a pertinent story:

My uncle recently found out from his doctor that he has a hormonal inbalance. He has too much natural estrogen. He was actually growing boobs. The doctor gave him testosterone. He was born male, he identifies as male, and he's happy being male.

Even if you do have a hormonal inbalance, you still self identify as female. No amount of testosterone will fix that.

[Guest o0tg0o]

Hehe, yeah, my mom said "you're a boy. stop saying that" without blinking too, which to me, hurts me, but i just kept on pointing out points after points...until she cried :-\........well.....unfortunately, i think it's just something that'll come when they're gonna go through acceptance.

Just like the two lovely ladies before me said, giving you T would not "fix" things. Explain to her how gender identity is formed in the mind, not the body.

Yeah, and definitely stay strong and vigilant...it was hard for me to keep my eyes on my mom's eye, but...i did, and i'm sure it helped.

[Guest Ryles_D]

there's a girl on another site (nto transgender) who was raped by her boyfriend, and her parents dragged her to the police to retract her statement and then to the boyfriend to apologize TO HIM. Parents have a really weird idea of what their children are and a horrible way of acting according to it.

I'm so sorry about that, just try to educate her. And remember that one person's opinion (not even your mom's) will never trump who you know you are. Oh, in case she gets serious about the T thing, definitely make sure she doesn't get you any T. Maybe it'd prove who you are, but I cant' see it helping anything but that and you don't want to find out it makes your real transition way more difficult.

[Guest roni]

Hi Jayme! I am very sorry that your mom hurt you about what she doesn't understand. I'm sure she loves you, but perhaps doesn't know how to express it just now. I applaud your courage to tell her!

roni