Transgender Caucus

[Guest Isobelle Fox]

Hello everyone : )

Thursday I am flying to Clevelland, Ohio for the first tentative meeting of the United Church of Christ's "Transgender Caucus."

This group is not necissarily going to be called that, I should add. One of the things we intend to discuss is an appropriate and inclusive name for the caucus that reflects, as best it can, the full spectrum of gender variant individuals.

This organization does not officially exist yet, though the church has sanctioned travel for the delegates. It does not have a board or official members. Its in a purely fledgling state at the moment. It is meant, eventually, to be a part of or a satellite organization of the UCC's Coalition for LGBT Concerns which has been around for a long time and is well established. The general feeling is that while the Coalition does great work for the community as a whole, the trans community is under-represented within it. We, the delegates for this meeting, hope to change that by organizing and giving the trans community a voice within the Coalition and the church. There is clear and evident support from the Coalition and the church for our endeavor, and I feel optimistic about it and happy to be a part of it.

One of the reasons I am writing tonight, other than just to express that this is happening, which I think is good news in and of itself, is to ask a question.

I am taking part in the last stages of planning for an Anti-Oppression Workgroup to be held at this initial caucus meeting. What we hope to explore are the ways in which various kinds of people are quietly oppressed by society - whether they be people of color, of different religions, genders, orientations, ect.

The part of the workshop I am most interested in, and which I am devoting my own thoughts to, concerns the issue of internalized oppression, or the way in which we, as trans-identified people, sometimes reflect, in our feelings, beliefs, or behaviors the same kinds of judgements that others make of us, or that we fear they will make.

I thought I would drop by Laura's and ask if anyone wanted to contribute examples, either personal or theoritical, of this kind of behavior? During the activity, all of the examples that will be given, and all of the questions asked of the participants, will be anonymous.

I thought I would provide some of the things that I personally thought were good examples from my own thoughts, both past and present:

* I felt and still do feel "ugly." I know, intellectually, that being "pretty" has nothing to do with WHO I am, or even with being female, but the way I look not only bothers me on the obvious superficial level, but it also bothers me because its one of the primary judgements that society quietly makes of some of us: you can't be a woman if you don't look like one. And I struggle with that myself. I struggle with the desire to _see_ myself as much as I do to _be_ myself. This truly is a kind of oppression.

* I think that the act of "hiding" is the most profound oppression of them all. To hide one's thoughts, feelings, reactions, instincts, and inherent nature, to supress them in order to keep them from being known - there is no greater opression. Some people do it because they fear the judgements other people will make and their reactions. And some people do it because they have internalized those judgements themselves. In order to go to these lengths to hide yourself, in some cases, you must first accept that you DESERVE to be hidden, that the judgements are true.

* I find it difficult, sometimes, to do the things I need to do for myself, when it comes to transition, because it all still feels selfish. I still feel that I am "taking something away from everyone," by giving myself a chance to be. I know that I'm not. I know that I am doing what needs to be done, what must be done, to alleviate suffering that I should not have to endure. But it still feels selfish. This, to me, is a kind of oppression. I also feel bad about talking about these things and asking for help, for basically the same reasons. Why should anyone have to listen to this?

* One of the more stereotypical internalized issues I have dealt with is the notion that I have not been, am not, and will not ever truly be either a man OR a woman. I think we often hold ourselves to unusually higher standards than other people ever feel they have to meet, and usually just in the hope of being a "normal" person. Feeling like you have to "prove" yourself or "justify" your existence is a kind of oppression of self as well, as is the feeling of deficiency that often results from these misguided efforts.

* And the worst but perhaps most prevalent of them all:

The idea that I might someday be a "normal" person is a negative internalization as well, because it implies that as a transgendered person I am NOT normal. Which of course, is stupid.

Anyway, if anyone would like to add their thoughts, I would be happy to carry them with me and incorporate them into the activity anonymously.

Isobelle Fox

I choose to live my life as if it was I to whom the Lord said, "talitha, cumi."

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Some lesser known fascets of oppression:

* Oppression by those who accept us. there is as tendancy to accept us as transsexuals, appearing to understand, then putting their own labels on us. Example: "she is gender dysphoric, but that was because her mother wanted a girl and dressed her son in girl's clothes for so long, no wonder she is confused!" Another example: "She was so unhappy her whole life, but almost made it (until her death I guess) - it is so good she can now be what she feels is right at the end of her life" (which discounts the whole idea of us being born like we are, thinking it IS possible to fight it, but sometimes the weakness overcomes the strength of trying to follow the conventions of society)

* Oppression by the media, passive style - in subtle ways, because of poor research. Calling gender dysphoria "the only mental illness curable by surgery" - which I saw in one article. Also reference like: " drag queens, female impersonators and other transgender individuals," Or my favorite "Sex Change Hospital." a series on Dr. Bower's Trinidad Clinic, obviously the title was to increase viewership - althought the series was fairly supportive.

* Oppression by other transsexual individuals. Very common - those who present themselves as spokesmen for all of us, when they are not, sometimes presenting ill formed opinions that give ammunition to our critics.

* Oppression by the GLB part of the GLBT community. They lobby for rights, especially job security, BUT when politicians grumble, the PAC at GLBT throw us under the bus - telling us "we will come back for you later." But they wnt our numbers (not so large but I guess they need everyone), our activism "in a united front" and our financial support

* Oppression by 'similar appearing' people - the drag queen community, the Jerry Springer show 'men in dresses,' and the exaggerated female impersonators on stage - many of the gender-varience people on Youtube - self promoting rock personalities - everyone who claims to be transsexual but is not diagnosed with the true gender dysphoria condition of transsexuality. They spoil our true image by using the 'flamboyant' approach to "gender bending,' for their own advantage and gain. We true transpeople just want to be what we are and disappear into society, well most anyway - thank God for activists.

* Oppression at the workplace by coworkers - I was accepted by the big boss and by HR - but the workers caused a huge flurry of criticism. So I was considered disruptive and fired. This happened twice to me. I am full time now everywhere EXCEPT work - which is silly. This at the advice of my therapist.

* Self Oppression. It is also self-explainatory. We are sometimes our own worse allies. We try to educate the public, we try to gain understanding or just basic support from our family and friends, BUT... we sometimes forget to accept ourselves.

Hope this helps

Go and knock them dead!

Lizzy

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Oh - I forgot one

* Oppression by oppression - we transsexual often cave in to all the pressures - and we... die by our own hand. This is the saddest part of the entire spectrum of what happens to transsexuals. Being killed by others is tragic (and more common than the public knows), But to be in a place that there seems no escape? Its a death of the spirit before it is a death of the body. The potential of transition and self acceptance is overidden by the oppression we recieve from all sides... we suicide.

Elizabeth Anne

[Guest Isobelle Fox]

Wow, Elizabeth, that was wonderful. There were a couple that REALLY stood out for me that I had missed out on.

Suicide as self oppression seems hugely obvious. And oppression through judgement of other transsexuals also seems obvious. Thank you so much for your input.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Wow, Elizabeth, that was wonderful. There were a couple that REALLY stood out for me that I had missed out on.

Suicide as self oppression seems hugely obvious. And oppression through judgement of other transsexuals also seems obvious. Thank you so much for your input.

Glad to help - it was interesting how much the list kept expanding! It could be bigger, but I was trying to hit on some lesser obvious stuff.

Elizabeth Anne

[Guest Donna Jean]

Wow......

That's a great list, yet, kinda scary......

I never would of thought of all of those ways that oppression is expressed to us....including to ourselves...

Oh My....

Donna Jean