Dont Feel Bad....

[Guest lvmyftm]

when strangers misgender you. I am female, born that way too, and twice in the last week or two I have been called sir. I dont look male in any way shape or form, though I am not a girly girl either. I was talking to the cashier tonight as she rang up my stuff and then when the transaction was done she said "have a goodnight sir" I just laughed but she felt bad and corrected herself saying that she just gets stuck on autopielot (it was REI, I guess mostly guys shop there or something).

Anyways, my point is being called the wrong gendered term happens to non trans people too sometimes. So try not to take it so hard or personal when it happens, sometimes it is just an innocent mistake.

Kim

[Guest Princess Elle]

Thanks for the tip! I pretty much just ignore it or see it as a mistake and forget about it.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Yes, Hon......

Mis-gendering can happen to anyone, any gender....

Some people are more sensitive to it than others and take it harder...

As a Transwoman that's not 100% I can handle it either way and I'll not lay blame on anyone that isn't able to figure me out...it's only fair...

But, again...If I'm in a skirt and heels with a purse.....you had better say Ma'am....

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

It gets all over the place sometimes, and yes, clerks get on autopilot, I know.

I learned from a friend, 15 years post FFS - that it doesn't matter. Her attitude works, she rarely gets mis-read. I have been out with her.

So it's just 'whatever' now. I know what I am and its only those jerks - the ones that are emphatic in mis-cuing you to show THEY KNOW you are some sort of abomination, that really irritate me.

There is one on the cosmetics and hair products area of Bed, Bath & Beyound - does that to me. Some day soon - like Dee Jay says - when I am in heels, a skirt and carrying my purse - if she does it again (she will) I will explain to her in not too nice terms, that she has been calling me a 'sir' for too long - then I am going to pull up my teeshirt and show her my breasts!

That might get her attention!

[Lizzy is not having a good day]

[Guest Blossom]

Thank you for the reality check, Kim. I am androgyne but present either 100% male or 100% female. It is extremely important to be accepted however I present myself. I took it hard the first few times I was clocked, but a hundred and fifty hours or so in public as female, as long as the person is not rude to me, I can go with the flow.

In hind sight, I'm sure the times I was taken for a guy had as much to do with what I was wearing as anything else. I'm not all about heels and skirts and my dead straight shoulder length hair, jeans & a tee shirt aren't much of a gender marker. In our culture of male supremacy, we are given the courtesy of being assumed male until we demonstrate we are not. With my bean pole build, longish hair, laser beard removal and the mosquito bites I have developed from HRT I am grateful I DON'T have any problems passing as a guy. But just like dropping my name when I am on the phone to help the person on the other end determine my gender, I realize it is less confusing for the people I meet if I girl it up a little. Simply wearing a push up bra made all the difference in the world!

Blossom

[Carolyn Marie]

then I am going to pull up my teeshirt and show her my breasts!

That might get her attention!

Ah, Lizzy. Miss one-track-mind.

I'll bet your next car has a drop top too.

You're right though, Kim. 96 per cent of the time (survey says) its an innocent mistake, and even when its not,

its better just to laugh it off and keep on going. Getting in their face is what they want, so why give 'em what they want?

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Ah, Lizzy. Miss one-track-mind.

I'll bet your next car has a drop top too.

You're right though, Kim. 96 per cent of the time (survey says) its an innocent mistake, and even when its not,

its better just to laugh it off and keep on going. Getting in their face is what they want, so why give 'em what they want?

Carolyn Marie

I do drive a convertable - how'd you know?

Lizzy

[Carolyn Marie]

I do drive a convertable - how'd you know?

Lizzy

SWAG

Carolyn

[Guest ericab]

ok so this is funny..... what if someones thinks ur tg too. lol i pick up my gf hormones and estrogen and the girl at the pharmacy looks at me like they're for me. lol u should see the looks i get now when i go in and get the prescription. its the funniest thing ever.

[Guest Donna Jean]

ok so this is funny..... what if someones thinks ur tg too. lol i pick up my gf hormones and estrogen and the girl at the pharmacy looks at me like they're for me. lol u should see the looks i get now when i go in and get the prescription. its the funniest thing ever.

Well, Hon.....

On my very first trip to the pharmacy for HRT.....

The Pharmacist filled it and when I came back to get it and told him my name....

He grabbed the prescription outta the bin, then looked at me and said:

"Is this for you?"

"Yes" I said....

"Do you know what this is?"

"Yes" I said.....

What a Wazoo_TM

Donna Jean

[Guest ericab]

lol i know. i just get a kick out of walking in there and the girl always looks down to see where i hide my package. lol or the way she looks at my boobs. lol but im a girl. i guess she wonders how i look better than her ( but of course she thinks the prescription is for me, so she thinks im a man i guess) Estelle said that at the other pharmacy where she use to get her prescription it was the same thing. and they didn't know if they should call her mam or sir. that's why she doesn't like going anymore. so i go instead of her.

[Guest NatalieRene]

Well, Hon.....

On my very first trip to the pharmacy for HRT.....

The Pharmacist filled it and when I came back to get it and told him my name....

He grabbed the prescription outta the bin, then looked at me and said:

"Is this for you?"

"Yes" I said....

"Do you know what this is?"

"Yes" I said.....

What a Wazoo_TM

Donna Jean

LOL the same thing happened to me.

[Guest BeckyTG]

It gets all over the place sometimes, and yes, clerks get on autopilot, I know.

I learned from a friend, 15 years post FFS - that it doesn't matter. Her attitude works, she rarely gets mis-read. I have been out with her.

So it's just 'whatever' now. I know what I am and its only those jerks - the ones that are emphatic in mis-cuing you to show THEY KNOW you are some sort of abomination, that really irritate me.

There is one on the cosmetics and hair products area of Bed, Bath & Beyound - does that to me. Some day soon - like Dee Jay says - when I am in heels, a skirt and carrying my purse - if she does it again (she will) I will explain to her in not too nice terms, that she has been calling me a 'sir' for too long - then I am going to pull up my teeshirt and show her my breasts!

That might get her attention!

[Lizzy is not having a good day]

I've got another response ready. I simply look at them and say, "So, if an amputee comes in, you'll call them Stump?" "Do you refer to people in wheel chairs as "Crip?"

So, why do you believe it's appropriate to call me Sir? Do you not understand how rude and mean-spirited it is to act that way?

Becky

[Guest Blossom]

No one's ever batted an eye when I go in to pick up my estrogen/spiro prescriptions. Guess I just look like every other guy with high blood pressure and prostate cancer

Blossom

[Guest lvmyftm]

ok so this is funny..... what if someones thinks ur tg too. lol i pick up my gf hormones and estrogen and the girl at the pharmacy looks at me like they're for me. lol u should see the looks i get now when i go in and get the prescription. its the funniest thing ever.

hahaha There is no way they are thinking I am trans....at least not after I open my mouth!

[Guest lvmyftm]

lol i know. i just get a kick out of walking in there and the girl always looks down to see where i hide my package. lol or the way she looks at my boobs. lol but im a girl. i guess she wonders how i look better than her ( but of course she thinks the prescription is for me, so she thinks im a man i guess) Estelle said that at the other pharmacy where she use to get her prescription it was the same thing. and they didn't know if they should call her mam or sir. that's why she doesn't like going anymore. so i go instead of her.

Yet another good reason I am glad that Toney gets his mailed to him!

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I filled my HRT the dayI got the prescription, but did it in the city, rather than the little town where I lived. The pharmacist hesitated when I gave it to him - I think we are pretty rare... we trans ... and pharmacist are not that discrete. They won't mention names maybe, but they gossip!

So that was okay, they grew accustomed to me. But a waste of time! One of the friends that worked at the mom & pop pharmacy in the little town spread the rumor I was really a woman because I had no Adams apple, I carried a purse (I guess she saw it in the car) and I wore fingernail polish (I didn't - not then). I had not put my HRT there because I didn't want to start rumors - but I was already getting noticed - hair in a pony tail too.

So when I got fired in the big city ('cause I tried to come out) I had to use a pharmacy in the little town anyway - and the chain pharmascy I was using in New Orleans had a brach - so I used it. AGAIN - the pharmacist looked at me funny when I went to pick up my prescriptions the first time. In fact the girl on the phone when I called in earlier was kinda surley... but I was very nice and polite.

Now they smile and joke when I come in. We trans are big news for about two weeks, then it seems we are no big deal. It's in the attitude.

I made it perfectly clear that I was not sneaking around, ashamed, that the HRT was for me, AND I was happy with myself. People responded to that. If you aren't nervous, they tend to go along with your mood.

Now - my wife threw me outa the house - I moved into the city - and I gotta do a third pharmacy! [not in the same area I was before] Dang! I am full time now, so it's a woman picking up HRT now - wonder what that will be like - the estradoil, probably okay. The blockers? Donno

We are strange creatures, we transsexual.

Lizzy